12/28/2010

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All the truly big things are without the beginning, just like the Universe- 26/27 Dec

12/25/2010

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So. What has happened since my last post.
Almost nothing.
Have been home for a while. I'm done with the exams for December, got some left for January.
I still have no news about EVS and it's freaking me out already.
Uhmmm. Christmas sucks- I mean I still don't feel like Christmas- I just had party with my relatives yesterday and it wasn't as much of a party as I expected it to be. Not much fun, everybody got to asleep early... Christmas with my Võru friends is also delayed to next year.... Depressive.
I guess if I had the EVS reply, everything would be more happy. Guess I'm in a stress or something like that.

Anyway, time for some quotes:
Isn't it heavenly that there is existing a smile that can secretly reduce the weight of of the big burden that all living creatures have laid on them. - 19/20 Dec

We are located only a heartbeat away from each other. -23rd Dec

Joy is not about getting things, it's inside of us. -24th Dec

12/17/2010

Still nothing....

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Patience was supposed to be a virtue, wasn't it?

Unfortunately we tend to forget the things we're supposed to remember and tend to remember things we're supposed to forget. - 16th Dec.

12/14/2010

There's always something good hidden in bad. And there's always something good around you!

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You just have to open your eyes.

Anyway.
My tattoos are now completely healed which means that I can go to sauna again. And so I did. But I'll start from the very beginning.

The weekend before the last one I went to village again. I was in Rootsi maja. It felt so good to be there again after about a month that I hadn't been in the village. I went to the meeting of the co-inhabitants and met the another EVS volunteer, Ludwig, finally. I had wanted to meet him since he came to the village, because he is new and I want to meet new people. And I was happy to admit that he's as cool or even cooler than all the other volunteers that have been working in the village. From the very first moment I started talking to him, we had a lot to talk about. Which is great. Anyway, it was a great weekend at the village- I did my homework and talked to all the people I hadn't seen in a while.
Then I came back to Tartu where I did many exams again....
Then came the last weekend.
Firstly, on Friday we had a big meeting of the co-inhabitants in Tartu, where we discussed SWOT and made the crisis plan for our village. It was great to do the last one because I knew quite a lot about how to react in a crisis situation (I have passed one training about crisis psychology) so I could talk along all the time. It felt good because once in a while I felt again that I'm studying something that I like. I hadn't felt like this the whole week. After the big meeting we had oue christmas party where we danced traditional Estonian songs, sang, ate and talked a lot. We also played the traditional Memory-game that is usual for the co-inhabs Christmas party. It was a really good day.
Then the next day I tried to study a bit which didn't work out. In the evening I went to the village, because it was Judith2's and Rasmus's leaving party. Oh, we danced a lot and the party was so beautiful. There were balloons and everything. After the official party Judith and Rasmus tried to send out a hot-air balloon that they made themselves, but it didn't fly. After that we sat and talked a while in Vana maja and then went to sauna also. One of the great things that happened that night was that I met Fred again and found out that he wasn't angry with me at all for the youth exchange in France. Oh, it made me very happy because I had thought for years that he was angry with me and didn't come to Rõuge because of that.... Anyway, it was really great to talk to Fred and see him again.
It was great to relax from exams also. The sauna was just great. We jumped into snow a lot and made water war with Ludwig. It was a really great sauna party in a while. I also got to know Ludwig better and I talked to Huko and Lauris a lot about EVS and making projects. I saw Jiri and Merlin after a long time and had a very relaxing night after two weeks of constant studying. These are the tiny (or actually very big) things that make my life happy.
I came back to Tartu the following morning by bus and started studying for exams. Which I am doing still. Because I've got loads of them...

And tomorrow I'll get the answer about my EVS hopefully. I am holding all my fingers, toes and thumbs also. Can't wait....

1

The daydreams of people would show the character of people a lot more than their face if the dreams were told sincerely. - 4th Dec.

Every minute you turn the corner of the mouth downwards, you'll lose 60 seconds of happiness. -9th Dec.

Endlessness ends with love. - 12/13th Dec.

I feel....

5

tired, exhausted. It seems like my body is going to stop responding soon. My sleeping cycle is messed up, I feel tired all the time. It's hard to focus on important things. It feels like I'm having a hangover for 3 days already, my eyes are hurting, I sleep very little time at night and some time during the day but it doesn't help, because when I want to sleep during the day then a lot of people call me all the time and wake me up. And my neighbours decide to have guests or turn on the music also at the same time I try to sleep when I get home from my exams...

Oh, only 6 more days.

It's my own decision to live like this. And I'm glad, because soon it'll be over.
Having 3 exams and 2 tests in one week when there's a weekend before when you can't study, is not the best choice I've made.
But I can manage that.
And I'll be stronger afterwards. I'm testing my limits.
Oh I like tests!

12/12/2010

I'm wordless now.

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I just got a call from some guy named Heigo who told he had my number in his mobile phone and he started calling to all the numbers he had to find out which numbers are still existing. So. He had my number with the name Kacey. He has lived in Tartu and has not been to Rõuge many times. He told me that maybe we know each other through RATE.ee or something. Anyway, I'm gonna meet him on Wednesday.
I have no idea who this guy is, from where I know him, when I met or spoke to him or whatsoever. Kinda weird. He remembered that I had blonde hair and was from Rõuge.

I'm dazed.

But it's really cool to know there are people in the world who try to warm up old friendships, although I have no idea who this person is.
But I'll find it out on Wednesday.

12/06/2010

Behind blue eyes

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is not a song by the Limp Bizkit, but is a song by The Who.

Yeah, I am not even surprised any more.

This kind of discoveries are not rarities for me anymore.

12/01/2010

Where the wild roses grow....

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The beauty is in your eyes. I just found my new favourite flower.

Look brightly and carefully and you'll see your joy, because happiness might be blind but it's not invisible. - December
I wish you to live truly in every day of your life. - 1st Dec

11/30/2010

My Italian trip vol2

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So. It's time for the next part now.
The following morning, which was the first official day of our workshops, arrived Slovaks in the morning at breakfast time. We had already started to get to know the Czech people. There was a very lovely girl named Heli, then Ivana, Johanna and Antonio. Antonio is an EVS volunteer who is doing his EVS in Czech Republic and Ivana is doing her EVS in Spain, in the place where Antonio is from. So from the first moment we met Czech group we realised that they were really cool people. When the Slovak group arrived, then they were also introducing themselves to us: Svenja, Jana, Kaja, Ivan, Natalja. After breakfast we went to the garage where we were supposed to have our workshops. So, in the beginning we had energizers by Antonio and namegames by Svenja. To get to know each other, we had to draw pictures of each other, so that we were sitting in circles and changing seats every one minutes. We also had to talk to the person we were drawing pictures of. It was a great way to get to know the names of the people and to find out things about them. in the beginning the people told very often to Daniele (the organizer) the name Antonio and also to Alessandro. The pictures looked really funny- e.g. Antonio looked like a Viking, Bruno looked very feminine and I looked like I had 4 shoulders..... Anyway we also made a name-game that we made in Turkey, too. It was about telling your name and making some kind of move and others had to repeat it. After that we made an agreement with rules that we applied to the whole project. Then after that we had lunch. After lunch we went to Sonia's home (Sonja is Bruno's sister) because we needed to get to the internet to download our presentation of Estonian handicraft's. Bruno and Sonia live in a very beautiful place with an awesome view to the whole town. And their house is very beautiful, too. Their mother, father and sister were at home and offered us grappa and some cookies made by their granny. Italians are so friendly and hospitable. From that afternoon I completely fell in love with Italians. So, after we downloaded our presentation, we went back to our workingplace. We had to make a small presentation about our handicraft's but we didn't have any computers. So we drew a picture and I presented it. Went well. After that workshop we had to discover Benestare. It meant that we were divided into teams and had to find certain people or institutions in Benestare. I was in a group with Antonio, Sonia and Kaja. We had to find an organization named "Pro Loco". This organization organized local big events and they were also cooking food for our youth exchange. So with the help of Sonia, we went to municipality house, where Pro Loco was supposed to be located. Unfortunately the head of Pro Loco wasn't there any more and her home was pretty far from Benestare, so we called the head of Pro Loco from the phone in the municipality house. We had to make an interview about handicrafts with her. So, after making the phone-interview we had to make a dance with local people and an act where we had to show our adventures. We made a pantomime about making cheese - Antonio was the goat and we had to milk him etc. Then we also danced. One other group had to make a musical and they made a rap musical. It was really funny. After the worksop there was time for reflection groups where we had to discuss about the problems we are having during the exchange. I was in group with Antonio, Kaja, Sonia. I had to also replace Meelika during the team-leaders meetings because she was ill. So after the meetings we had dinner. During the dinner the Hungarian group also arrived. There were 3 people in the group- Gabriella, David and Matyi. After the dinner we were supposed to organize a theme party which was also supposed to be our welcome party. We chose the topic Latin and in the evening the party started. We made some dances and then just danced. Some local people also came to watch us. It seemed like we were the screen and the local people were the audience. Weird. Anyway, I started talking to Heli a lot and in the evening we were probably the last ones to go to sleep. I discovered she was interested in the disabilities field and told her about Maarja küla. She is now interested in becoming an EVS volunteer here. I'm very glad for that. Heli is probably one of the coolest people I met in Benestare, but I can say that about most of the people. Oh, all the people were so great.
The following day was the day when Estonia had to make energizers and name-games. I didn't know that many name-games, so Francesca (the other organizer) helped me out. After the energizer's part Antonio organized team building exercise. In the exercise we firstly had to climb through a spiderweb without breaking it. And each whole could only be used 3 times. Obviously we broke it. :) When everybody had climbed through we were divided into teams. Our exercise was to build an instrument to get an egg down from the second floor's balcony without breaking it. The things to build the instrument from, were given to us. I was in the team with Lii, Heli and Gabriella. We made a plane for the egg, where we put it in a secured way. Our plane had written on it "I believe I can fly" and "Super-egg". We also created an egg catcher which was lying on the ground and was supposed to reduce the shock when the plane fell down from the second floor. After creating the machines we had to throw down the egg from the balcony. I had to throw the egg of my group. It landed securely on the catcher but unfortunately had small cracks in it. So - we "broke" the egg. But when we threw down the egg, we sang "I believe I can fly....". It was a really funny workshop and I could do this again anytime. It was fun to throw the eggs down. Only one egg was not broken. All other team's broke their's. So, then we had lunch. Pasta. And french fries. The meal was really good. And Estonian guys, hungry as they were, took the second round of pasta, too. We ate alltogether very much during the exchange. After the lunch we had another energizer. I made the playing cards game, where people were divided into 4 groups based on the suits of the cards. We were sitting in the circle and I showed the people cards one by one. The person whose suite was shown, had to sit to the laps of other person etc. The game ended when one of the plastic chairs was broken because there were too many people sitting on it. After that we went to municipality house to meet the local mayor meer. He told us that we're gonna have Italian night tomorrow and how glad he was that Benestare hosted our exchange. We also made a group picture and after that went back to our working place. Over there we started creating things out of clay. In the beginning we were told a bit about the techniques of making claywork by our "teacher" Bella. So, the first thing I made, was a mug. After that we had to make the first human on Earth. I made Homer Simpson with a nice six-pack (the beer wasn't invented yet). My Homie was starting to get on his feet and was a bit monkey'sh. He had a very surprised expression on his face and it came from the fact that when he saw further, he saw Marge. I was sitting in one table with Antonio and Sonia and there was also one Italian guy Giovanni. Sonia made a mermaid, Giovanni made Mickey mouse and Antonio made a very old man. After we finished making the things we had to present them to others. Matyi made Chuck Norris and his son (who had no mother- Chuck Norris doesn't need a female person to have babies). Anyway, after that we had again the reflection groups, the team-leaders meeting and dinner. At night we had Czech culture night. We danced one Czech dance and sang songs and tried their traditional food, learn new words. As everybody were pretty tired, the party faded out fast. Oh, yeah, in the beginning of the party we also celebrated Kaja's nameday. So we had wine. Our group also bought some wine from the shop so it was a great evening.
The next day we had a trip out. We went to Siderno again in the morning. I was in Bruno's car again and it was really cool, because he drove quite fast on the curvy roads. Hehe. There were 5 people stuck in one car but it was okay for us. In Siderno we had free time until 2 o'clock in the afternoon. We had our lunches packed with us and so we went to the beach. Me and Mart went swimming and a lot of people looked at us as if we were crazy. We were the only ones swimming... :) The water was warm enough for us and it was so blue and clear water. We spent about two hours in the beach and sunbathed. Then the sun went behind clouds and we went to explore Siderno. As our team already knew the town, we just wet shopping. I bought earrings for myself. Karel and Mart bought themselves Mickey-mouse shirts.... At two all the people gathered in the square we were supposed to meet each others. Kaja, Svenja and Ivana had bubblemakers so they made bubbles into the sunny-again sky. It was hot and beautiful day. So, then we waited for all the car-drivers to come and went to a small city in the mountains- Gerace. The road there was even more curvy. In Gerace was a lot colder than in Siderno- we were high up in the mountains. We went to one platform where we could see the mountains and the sea at the same time. Unfortunately we didn't have much time there, but had to start treasure-hunt around in the town. We saw two churches. We had to play Zombies in front of a church for animals. We also went to one platform from where we had a marvellous look to the sea and the towns next to the sea. We had to make a fashion show over there. So after that we went to the main square of the city where we had to make a 10-minutes show about "Building our Europe". We made towers of people, hummed, danced. After the show we had some Italian cookies and tea in local cafe. We then had free time to see the city. We went back to the platform where we had made the fashion show earlier and enjoyed the view and explored the city on our way back to the square. In the square I taught Svenja to play the jew's harp (which she had bought for herself). As it was already 6 o'clock we drove back to Benestare, where we had our dinner. After dinner, at 10 was supposed to start the Italian night.... The Italian night was really great.

But I'll tell about that in the following post.....

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Nothing is extremely difficult when you divide it into smaller parts. - 30th Nov


We just divided our parts for doing homework in the psychology of individual differences. :)

Fitzgerald!?!?!?!

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I decided to have a nap today and woke up about 15mins ago. I have never hated my alarm clock this much! The reason: I just had a dream where Simon Neil had given me autographs and James and Ben Johnston were about to give.
I have no idea how the dream began, but I know that I came from some kind of concert (it wasn't Biffy's) and wanted to go to Sven's (one of my friends from NRG) place with him. And then I walked with crowd downstairs from somewhere and was in some corridor that I thought was NRG's canteen. All of a sudden I saw Simon Neil with white hair and beard sitting behind the door and resting his legs. All the other people suddenly disappeared. There was only Simon. He smiled at me and already came to me with a black pen and wanted to give me his autograph. So he gave it to me to my hand. To my left hand. I showed him one of my tattoos (which was on the left hand and was something unrecognizable and had life written into it) and I also showe him my tattoo of a puzzle piece. So he wrote his name and made something artificial on my hand were the weird tattoo was located. He made some kind of picture and connected it to my tattoo. It made complete sense in the dream. Anyway, then I asked whether I could take a picture with him and have his autograph on the usual paper, too. He agreed with it. Unfortunately Sven didn't have his mobile with camera with him, so he went to bring it. And I got a paper from some room that was behind one random door. In the room was the Biffy's staff putting together their instuments. Anyway I got back to Simon. And he had made with a split second an autograph to my paper. Then I saw James and Ben sitting at the other end of the corridor and asked Simon ifI could get autograph's from them, too. Simon told me that I should go and ask myself. So I went (and Simon continued resting his legs). As I went to the other end of the corridor, I saw that the people I considered to be Ben and James, were just some staff girls. So I asked them about the guys. They told me that they'll be here in a second. The girls wanted to see my autographs. I showed the sheet to them and had a closer look at it myself too. Simon had written name Fitzgerald many times to one side of the paper and each letter of the name was from different colour. And then there were some drawings too. I didn't look at them closer. Then I turned the page and on the other side there were some colourful signatures of Fitzgerald again and some printed words in Russian: nadežda, hšuštšeštvo (I have no idea if the last on is actually a word) and some more. Simon had printed them like people print with stamps, only difference is that the liquid was ink. And he had printed the words one by one with letter separatedly. And the explanation to it was that Simon learnt some new Russian words while being in this country. And I wondered also why he had written Fitzgerald and I realised in the dream that it was Simon's family name. Anyway, then arrived Ben and James and some other random guys. There was a door opening to the outside and a tractor with fertilizer bags behind it's back arrived. And Ben and James stepped off the tractor with blue boiler suits on and walked past me. I wanted to ask them about the autographs but then people told me to wait 'til they changed their clothes. And I also saw a glimpse of Simon smoking and watching what was happening....
And then the alarm went off.....

I was just about to get James's and Ben's autographs, too. S**t!

11/28/2010

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The truth is inside you: find yourself in you, conquer yourself, have a victory over yourself- and you'll see the truth. - 25th Nov.

11/27/2010

11/26/2010

My Italian trip vol1

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Long time, no see. It's because I got back from another youth exchange couple of days ago. So it's time for an update about my amazing life.
On the day I started travelling to Italy, there was also our village concert in Vanemuine theater. It was a charity project that is held every year and it collects money for our village. The actors and actresses sing for free. This year the topic of the concert was 70-80's. The actors were dressed according to the style of these times and sang also very old songs. It was a really lovely concert.
Then, after the concert I went home where I packed my last things for the trip and changed clothes. Then Kaie took me to the bus station from where I went to Tallinn airport. When I got to the airport I had a lot of time so I tried to sleep on the benches. It was a little cold and very uncomfortable. Then arrived Lii and Meelika and half an hour later also Karel and Mart. Our team was together. We did a check-in and waited to get on the plane. We flew through Riga to Rome. So after two flights we arrived our first destination. We went by a local train from Fiumicino airport to Rome Termini (train station). We put our luggage there and took off to see the city. We decided to go on foot and discover the city that way. Our map-reader was Karel. Firstly we tried to get used to the traffic, which was so Italian. We headed towards Colosseum. On our way we saw one big building (unfortunately I have forgotten the name of it) and took pictures there. When we finally arrived at the Colosseum it seemed like it was going to rain soon. Luckily we had enough time to take pictures and rest a bit over there and we also walked the whole way around the Colosseum. It is a really big building. I wished we had had an opportunity to go inside, too, but that wasn't possible. Then, after seeing Colosseum we climbed some hills and saw The Forum from behind some gates. But we couldn't get in. So we wandered around some streets and finally got to see the Forum from one platform. It is really old. I felt the ancient times when even looking at it. Amazing! Then we saw some sculptures of Caesar and headed towards Vatican. On our way we saw Kapitholium,which was a very beautiful building. Then we also ate pizza in a place called VIP Pizza. Oh, how delicious the pizza was. I can still feel it on my tongue. Would love to have that again..... Anyway, finally we arrived in Vatican's main square. It wasn't as big as I had expected it to be but all the time I tried to find the markings that were mentioned in the "Angels and Demons" book by Dan Brown. I even recognized some - the fountain and the sculpture. We had a look around in the square but couldn't get in anywhere because it was late already and all Cathedrals had been closed. There was an exhibition about old books we tried to get in to, but it was only for invited quests. Pity. After exploring the square we headed back towards Termini to catch our train. We rested a bit in front of the Colosseum but then it started raining and we had to go to Termini. On our way we met Turkish guys trying to sell us umbrellas. Before they had tried to sell us scarfs. Guess they had something for every type of weather. Anyway, when we got back to Termini we had a lot of time until our train came, so we just sat there and hung around. When it was finally time to get on the train and we saw it, we were just speechless. It was a very old-looking train and we even couldn't imagine that trains like these move nowadays. We got into the train and into our coupe which was for 6 people. There were five of us and one old man also. This old man didn't definetely like us there. So, we were now stuck in the train for 10 hrs alltogether. There wasn't much space and as we tried to sleep we had our legs everywhere. I wish I had a good picture of it, because it looked extremely weird. Anyway we tried to sleep but didn't manage much. So in the morning when we got to Ardore (the city that we had to get off the train), we were pretty tired. But this doesn't matter. We got off the train and met Daniele and Massimilliano (first one was the organizer of the project, I had met him in Estonia two years ago). They took us by cars to Benestare, our final destination. We had a breakfast in local cafe and then went to our sleeping place. The place was colder than we expected but whatever... I had problems with opening my luggage because the lock had been broken. So the guys beated the lock with a rock and it broke and I had a chance to have a shower and change clothes. After everybody had refreshed themselves we went to explore the town. It was a small town in the mountains. You could see the sea also from this town. Orange trees were growing everywhere, there were lots of Fiat's and the streets were really small. Cute little town. We discovered a shop named Maria... The view from almost everywhere in the city was marvellous- mountains everywhere and some sea, too. Unfortunately the weather was cold... Then we had lunch which had two rounds. Oh, pasta :) We met Alessandro (I had met him before in Estonia) and Bruno and some more people. Bruno promised to take us to another city nearby (Siderno) where he was working. So at 4 p.m we drove by his car to this city. We went to the seaside and had a look around in the city. As it was cold we decided to have a cup of tea in a restaurant named Helios. And then started a complete pourdown. So we couldn't go anywhere anymore. We texted Bruno that we're stuck in this place. So when his job finished, he came to the place where we were, drank also a fast Espresso and then we went back to Benestare. The roads in the mountains were curvy so Meelika didn't feel very good and was ill some days afterwards. Unfortunately. In the evening we had dinner (more pasta) and after that we drank some wine and just chatted. At night the Czech group arrived. And then we went to sleep...

11/14/2010

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The smaller the joy is, the smaller is it's power. - 14-15th Nov

True humanity equals love. A person is love. -17th Nov

Do what's right without asking other people's opinions. - 20th Nov


I'm off now for a while. Will be in Italy between 15-24th Nov.

11/12/2010

Ambigrams

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I've got now an ambigram from my own name. It looks really beautiful.

You can see the stars only if it's dark enough. - 12th Nov.

11/11/2010

And so it starts again.....

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Wuhuuu! Got the first call from Northwestern people today.
And so it starts again....
At least I've got a damn good excuse for them to say- I will be probably going to Britain soon, I can't come and sell books in USA.

11/09/2010

Oh the weather outside is frightful....

3

I can finally say that I am happy to see the snow outside. I wasn't happy a while ago, but now it's time for that. I woke up in the morning, moved the curtains off the window and saw snow. Now I'm gonna eat some mandarines, light a candle. Then, after this lovely breakfast, I will skip one of my lectures, will go to donate blood, and will go to city to find myself jeans. And if the promised snow storm comes, I'm gonna enjoy it. I guess I love storms... (I loved the thunderstorm we had in the summer, too)
Anyway, maybe some christmas songs?
I've got the feeling for that, too.


The most wasted day is the one, during which you don't smile at all. -9th Nov

(The first thing in the morning I did, was smiling)

11/07/2010

Dave Grohl vs Simon Neil

2

Okay, I just have to write this dream that I had today night into here. This is freaking weird.
Anyway, I was in the university and in a lecture named "The psychology of creativity". By the end of the lecture I was supposed to go to Foo Fighter's concert that took place in Tallinn. My lecturer, Tiia Laak, wished me a nice concert.
Okay, so then I stood in the line to get into the concert. When I got into the concert hall, I saw seats. Like the ones that are in the culture house of Rõuge. The house looked also like a culture house in Rõuge. Okay, anyway there wasn't a lot of pushing and there wasn't a warming band either. So as the audience gathered I was seated to the second row (again). But not into the middle. Still, there was no pushing..... The concert began. I enjoyed it, and loved it, although it seemed the band had only two members, no drummer and Dave Grohl looked a lot like Simon Neil from "Folding stars" video and the bass guitarist looked like James Johnston. Ooookay.... All of a sudden I noticed that most of the audience had gone, no clapping, no cheering. Nothing. I started to become embarrased of Estonians. Again. So when there were only about 20 people left the band finished playing, telling us, that there is no point. Obviously. So they were standing on the stage with a bit sad looks. They told that the clock was obviously too early for a concert like this (the concert started at 8 pm) but that they couldn't do it later, because they wanted to sleep too, as they had to leave the country at 4am the next morning. So during that talking most of the 20 people who had stayed until the "end" of the concert, left. I still stayed. So the band came off the stage and all of a sudden there was just a table in front of me. There was one more person from the audiencel left. So I started cheering up the band. I asked for their autographs- I had a sheet for that and it had a list of bands written on it. So "Dave" and "the bassist" gave me their autographs. So we chatted a while. I told them I would go to their some other concert and asked if I could get the tickets for their show at Milton Keynes as it is sold out (yeah, my dream concert is actually in reality also sold out) and that it would be my dream to see Simon and Dave perform together. I also asked whether they could do a duet or something like that during the concert. I got the a smily answer that actually said nothing to me but about the ticket I was supposed to ask my lecturer Tiia Laak, because she was the aunt of the bassist (in my dream) .... What the hell???? Anyway, then the guys discovered that they had only their pijamas on so they went to put on normal clothes. I asked whether I should leave but they told that it's not necessary. So they put on normal clothes in front of me. I still tried to cheer them up about the concert and find some excuses for the stupid Estonians but the band told it was okay. Then it was about the time when I had to catch my bus back home (yeah, I had chatted with the guys for quite long already). So I took my hair of from French braid and took a picture with the guys and hugged them really long and then went. When I was on my way to the bus station I heard a quoting of a newspaper by someone and he read about the fiasco that had happened during the concert and I was really sad but looking forward to see my lecturer to get the tickets to Milton Keynes.....

It seems that I am regaining my ability to see extremely weird dreams. That are actually somehow connected to reality....

11/06/2010

"Awakenings"

6

I have a new movie recommendation again.
I recently downloaded a lot of movies from psychology and psychatry field. So I watched now one of them that I'd planned to watch for a very long time. The name of the movie is "Awakenings". At first the name Robin Williams didn't attract me very much to watch the movie as Williams doesn't seem to be the kind of actor for psychiatry movie. Or a movie from so serious field. So with a little doubt in my soul I started to watch the movie.
My first impression, when the movie hadn't even started, only the introductive subtitles were shown, was a big surprise. I read from the introduction that the movie was based on the book with the same name by Oliver Sacks. How on earth didn't I make the connection between the name of the movie and the book before seeing the movie? So obvious. Anyway, with the knowledge that the movie is based on a book from this author and that the movie is actually based on a true life story I continued watching the movie. My impression when the movie had ended was as good as it was in the beginning. Maybe even better. I was not disappointed in the movie at all... And the actors played their role quite well.
Anyway, the movie is about people who have had some kind of meningitis in their childhood and it has had the effect on their life some time later. In the beginning of the movie these people are diagnosed with unknown schizophrenia or unknown dementia etc. in the movie the patients were frozen in one pose and didn't seem to react to almost anything. They were living in a hospital. A new doctor (Robin Williams) comes to work in the institution and finds out that the patients react to certain stimuli. So he makes a research and finds out that their actual diagnosis is some kind of meningitis (I can't remember right now, what was the proper name of the diagnosis so I will not type it here). And he starts to find a cure to this disease....
Anyway, my plan now is to read the book, too. I've had this book at home, but it was 3in1 book, where were other publications from Sacks also included (I read "The man who mistook his wife for a hat"). I planned to read all the books but as I was lacking of time to do that, I took the book back to the library. Mistake. Total.
So as previously, I still recommend everybody to read books from Oliver Sacks and to watch this movie, too. Thoughtful and realistic stories from what you can learn a lot.
And I can say that Oliver Sacks is probably one of my favourite writers (and neuropsychologist too, as this is his real occupation).

11/05/2010

Sometimes I wished....

1

...that I'd have my black hair back. That I'd still be 17. That I'd still go to Nõo high school and lived in the hostal with all my friends so close. Sometimes I wished back even my basic school, but not as much as my high school. Sometimes I wished it was the summer of 2008, a damn but a very lovely summer. All the time I wish that I could see Vero again, could see my old roommates more often, my friends more often.
Friends are the people who will never disappear. Even if the distance is long between them.
Sometimes it seems that I'm not trying hard enough to keep in touch with my friends. And it will be harder in the future.
But so far I'm handling it. Still.
We'll see what the future will bring but all that I can say is that the past and the present is something damn good to be remembered. The puzzle is so far perfect. Nothing to regret, only to remember.

And these are my friends that make everything perfect.

So... This post is devoted to all the people who have affected me in all the ways and have turned me into what I am now.
To the past, present and future!

I love you, my friends!

11/04/2010

0

Time doesn't exist. Time is numbers, the relation between existance and non-existance. - 4th Nov

11/02/2010

iresghtöpguhäoeirhgühb

2

The fact that I'll go to Italy soon, seems like a curse. The closer the date comes the more I will find out what tests will be during my trip. Fuck! Really.
I've got a test in German during my trip, I found out today that I'll probably have a test in Psychometry, too. Then I've got loads of essays to do, I've got two seminars that I should attend, too. Holy crap. I shouldn't swear but this is worth it.

kjegtveatölwerhypaeönti bögahgtaetphwyökjbnqwgälkhbög

11/01/2010

0

The only way to discover the limits of possibilities is to succeed in doing impossible. - November

The soul is fed by joy. -1st November

10/31/2010

0

Don't let your dreams grow into weeds - 30th October

10/28/2010

Down in the River to Pray

0

This song was the intro when Biffy got on the stage in Rock Cafe. As I found out, they play it always as their intro song during what they come on stage. I'd really like to know why exactly this song. Anyway, it's a really good song. Enjoy.

10/27/2010

Mon the Biff!

4


Yesterday finally arrived the day when Biffy concert was supposed to happen. Me, Kirke and Kerttu went to Tallinn quite early and then had some time before the concert as the people started lining up properly from 6 o'clock. So we went to Hesburger and took our stuff to the place we were supposed to stay overnight. Then we went back to Rock Cafe to wait getting in. It was announced earlier that we'll get inside at 19:00 but finally we got inside at 20:00. So we froze outside for more than 2 hrs. When we got in we gave away our coats and then went to front of the stage to wait 'til the warming band -Airhsip- got on the stage. When they finally got, then we rocked a bit but not that much- we wanted to hold ourselves for the Biff. Airship is a really good band and I'm definetely gonna get their music from somewhere. They played 7 or 8 songs and I knew at least two of them (I had listened to them once from Myspace some days ago). During their performance we could see Biffy members sneaking from behind the curtains of the windows next to stage and waving to us sometimes. Then when they went off the stage it started getting tight in the crowd. I was in the second row. Then people started yelling "Mon the Biff!" to call the band to the stage. When they finally came, I was a bit shocked, because Simon had coloured his hair blond and the beard too. He had also pink tight jeans on. But! No t-shirt! :) James had purple tight jeans. So I wasn't prepared to see them performing like that- I was hoping to see cute Simon as he is on the homepage picture (he was a cute Santa-Claus now, and oh what a naive me!). Anyway they kicked off the show with "That Golden Rule". Oh my god! During the whole concert the most iportant thing I tried to do was to stay alive. Especially the beginning of the concert. I was kicked, pushed, smashed etc. Well, typical rock-concert, I could say. But then I was also trying to sing along to the songs that I liked. I don't know if they are the best live-bands in the world as advertised, but they were really good. But the sound of Rock Cafe sucked a bit. Anyway it was a really f**king awesome concert. People sang along to most of the songs. Biff also played most of the songs I was looking forward to hear. When they played "Machines" then the crowd sang along very loud during the whole song. It seemed that Biff were touched inside by it. As far as I know the concert in Helsinki wasn't even half as crazy as the one in Tallinn. I also really liked when the band played "Living is a problem because everything dies". Simon made some weird ticks in the guitar "bumps" parts so it was really cool. And I sang along to almost all the songs. It's pity that they didn't play "Folding stars". I was really hoping to hear that. Almost at the end of the concert the band told that "See you next summer". Hmm, maybe they are really coming back so soon! Oh, that'd be awesome. I hope I can come to Estonia then to see their concert. If I can't then I'll just go to see them in Britain. Btw, they are gonna support Foo Fighters for two concerts next July in Britain. Maybe to go to there. Two awesome bands at the same time! But I don't know. Maybe it's inappropriate to say that Biff's the supporter. Because they are probably even better than Foo itself.
Anyway, I am really sorry for all the people who wanted to see Biff yesterday and missed it. This concert was worth seeing and I'd go to see Biffy Clyro again anytime possible.
Mon the Biff!


10/24/2010

10/21/2010

0

Never try to cross a bridge before you have reached it. - 16th Oct.

Love yourself and you'll start a romance that'll last 'til the end of life. - 21st Oct

Never forget the name of the person you love. - 23rd Oct

O' how happy a person can be. "This isn't real. This kind of things don't really exist" (Twilight movie). I have to wake up.

10/20/2010

2

A "yes" is given. Let's see what happens now... I'm sold.

10/18/2010

0

Hold your thumbs now. There's gonna be news from the EVS stuff tomorrow. Maybe I'll go already in February. Who knows.... :)

10/14/2010

0

The heart doesn't always laugh when the lips are laughing. Look into the eye and you'll see what's going on in the heart. - 6th October

When to search for the perfection then one's never satisfied. -8th October

Life isn't a race, but a hunting: not saving time is important, but the skill of finding the central point. - 12th October

10/13/2010

Biffy Clyro - God and Satan

1

The lyrics for this song are just amazing. So deep and realistic. I really fell like I'm connecting to this song.
And besides, it has a reallybeautiful melody. I really hope that I will hear this song in two weeks in live.

10/11/2010

Oh, what a wonderful world...

1

Only two weeks left until me & my friends will see Biffy Clyro. Already looking forward for it.
Then, I'll probably go to Italy for a youth exchange for a week in the end of November. Hooray!
Then, today there is free Malcolm Lincoln concert in Tartu.
I came back from the village yesterday and will go again on Thursday.
I had a great night out with my friends last week in Zavood. Met a lot of people and got seriously convinced that the people from our high school are everywhere. Besides that, Tartu is becoming smaller and smaller. I like that. It's home!
Then, I am developing in doing my homework. I'm on the wave right now. Really useful.
Choir rehearsals feel good. Aerobics make me feel so good.
We've got some new tea in our apartment.
There will be the Maarja küla concert soon.
My lectures (at least many of them) are really interesting.
I just sent an EVS application to one of the organizations and now have to wait until they decide. Hold your thumbs for me, people. Hold them until the middle of December. Then I'll find out. I really want to go to this organization. It's called Options for Life and it sound exactly like the project that's made for me. So, please, hold your thumbs.
I've saw my friends from basic school couple of weeks ago. And I saw Romek, Maris's baby. Oh how cute he is.
What else?
I think all that I counted is already enough to make my world great, cool, awesome, supercalifragilisticexpialidocius and whatsoever more.


Now I have to focus on my lecture.

10/03/2010

0

If you want to achieve something big, then you have to start from something small. - October
A gift to learn, a gift to listen, a gift to think and a gift to doubt- these give you the gift to develop your talents. -1st Oct

9/29/2010

0

To dream about the person you would like to be is to waist the person you are. - 26/27th Sept.
Per aspera ad astra! -30th Sept.

9/23/2010

0

You can sense a miracle a tiny bit when you stop for a moment and stay quiet. -23rd Sept.

9/19/2010

Life is beautiful

3

As I told in my previous post, I went to see The Bootleg Beatles. At first it was really weird to go there, because it was a concert and I had to dress up like I was going to a concert. Then, when finaly came the time to get into the concert hall, I saw a lot of old people coming there, too. There were really few youngsters. The concert started with "I want to hold your hand". It felt amazing. The first two songs were just the feeling I always get when I go to see some huge band perform. It feels unreal, like you are going to cry of happiness. Anyway, my good feeling was soon replaced by shame and I could only blame Estonians, yeah, my own nationality, for this. The band tried to get the audience clapping and Estonians just clapped for 30 seconds and then stopped. I clapped all the time, howled, when the songs ended and tried to get people more active. No results. Then the band sang "Help" and wanted people to sing along- 0nly few people sang. It was miserable. Then there was the break. Before the break ended I complained in phone to my friends, how awfully ignorant and cold Estonians are, so that people around me could hear it as much as possible (I was quite loud and showed my irritation out pretty well). Then the second part of the concert got better and better. There came a lot of good songs, people started to clap more and when there were two last songs ("Lady Madonna" and "Hey Jude") half of the audience stood up and danced and clapped and sang along. Oh, it felt a lot better then. When the official part of the concert ended, people called the band back on the stage and they sang "Let it be" and "Back in the USSR". Oh, many people sang along to it. And danced. Even the old man who was sitting next to me and was very official-looking. All of a sudden the concert felt a lot better and I could be proud of my nationality again. One thing that made me sad, was that there were so many good songs that weren't played. I was really hoping to hear "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds" and "She Loves You". But, in conclusion, it was a nice concert and worth the money.

On Saturday I had a very small birthday-party with my closest friends in Tartu. I cooked the whole day (after I got back from Tallinn). Typically to me- there was too much food again. But, no problem- Kerttu is studying here today and will help us to eat it :) Anyway, it was a really ice birthday- my friends know my deepest wishes so well, although I have never told these to them. I got a locket that has clock inside as a present. There was also one drinking game and hand-made box of chocolate. Right now I am looking at this locket and I feel so happy. It is really cute and the watch inside is very detailed. Oh, I have the best friends in the world. So yesterday we drank, ate, drank some more and talked and tried to play this drinking game without the drinking rules as we were already drinking. It was the wooden-tower-game. Obviously the tower fell down a lot. Then we played guitar and sang along and did a lot of jamming. Haha.... The lyrics of the song we made about Kerttu are still making me smile a lot. It was like Estonian regilaul in a way and had lyrics like "Ja ta mõtleb ja mõtleb ja mõtleb ja mõtleb......" (And she's thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking....". Yeah, it was a great night. Kerttu stayed here overnight so we were up until 3 in the morning (we went to sleep because we have to study today) and we talked a lot about music. It reminded me of the times when we were still living in the hostal alltogether.... I love you, my friends. All of you. What have I done to deserve you?

Right now I am sitting on my bed, Kerttu is studying besides me, Kirke is studying on her bed. The incence sticks with the smell of chocolate are burning, candles are burning on the table. It's raining hard outside so that the small light inside is turned on. The music in my computer is based on The Weepies' song "All good things" and the playlist is really relaxing. It feels so cosy and this moment should last forever. I am so happy and life is truly beautiful.
The quote for today is also perfect- "Laying in bed in a dark foggy morning is pure happiness." -19/20 Sept.

With a little help from my friends

0

I went to the Bootleg Beatles concert yesterday and they played a song "With a little help from my friends" and the audience started to clap properly for the band when this song came on. Before that it was really hard for the band to get the audience to be active. I thought that Estonian audience sucks- they are clappimg for the cover more than they clap for the band's own song. And then I talked to my friends about it and we started discussing that who is the original author of the song. And I googled it. What was the reply? Of course, the song was by The Beatles. I thought since today that it was made by Joe Cocker. And I didn't have The Beatles version of the song in my computer, either. So, that was a damn surprise to me. I mean, how on earth did I fail in this so hard? Shame on me.

But I'll talk more about the concert tomorrow, when I'm more awake.

9/15/2010

0

Kicking fallen autumn leaves with feet into the air is happiness. - 15th September

9/12/2010

Psycho-puppies and hillcimbing

3

My last week was busier than it has been before.
Firstly, I started going to aerobics with Liisu. Oh, it feels so great again. I had missed aerobics.
Then, on Thursday, after school, was our psycho-puppies meeting party. It was in Vahi Tare, which meant that I had to go there by car unless I find myself a sober driver, because the place is at the other side of the city. But, Liisu offered to be my sober driver. Bless her! She is such a cool person :) So, me and my coursemate Grete went there with Liisu and were actually one of the first ones there. So we helped to prepare stuff for the evening. People gathered an hour later than they were expected so everything was delayed a bit. We opened the event with the psycho-traditional boat-race game- it's a drinking game, where people are in a circle and one person starts to drink and then the one on the left side of the person etc. If the person has drank all the alco from the cup they have to put it to on their head, upside down. Yeah, I tried to drink properly this time, but there was still some alco left to the bottom of the cup, so I poured it onto my head. Well, it felt a little wet. After that there was the game, where two groups have to stand on bed sheets and they are supposed to be packed there really tight. Then they have to turn the sheet around so that nobody will step off or fall of from the sheet. Unfortunately there were too few people standing on the sheets, so they turned it around quite easily. It took only 2,5 minutes for them. When I did this game in Turkey, we couldn't even move and it took us at least 15 minutes to turn the sheet around. Anyway, after this game came the theatre-part where puppies had to make a play from the word they were given. Or try to explain what the word, they were given, meant. The words were (I'll tell in Estonian, in English they are pretty boring, I think) "militaartillikas", "visuaalne pervert" (visual pervert) and then there was one more, I can't recall right now. Anyway, the play about visual pervert was really good and we decided with jury that it has to win. So it won. Obviously. After the play there was sauna and disco and during that people started to leave, because there wasn't anything more planned and some people were already very drunk. So we danced a little, chatted a little. It was really great to talk to Puuk, who is from my old high school. I also talked to some other puppies- one of them was Dima, with whom I talked a lot also during the first meeting in THE park. Anyway, everybody took a lot of pictures with my camera, so I will upload some of them to here also, if my internet allows that.... (Yeah, hold the thumbs)
On Saturday there was the Madmoto weekend or to be more detailed- the nightly hillclimbing competition and the race of old and broken cars and also the race of self-built freak-motorcycles. I had to be in this split minery place named Juraski (:D) an hour before it started, so that we could park our car close and could have enough time before the broken-cars race started, because we had to count how many circles cars did during the race. This time there were 10 cars in the competition. I had to count the circles of two of these cars. The race had four or five rounds and all my cars were on the 2-3 place during most of the race. But for the last race, one of my cars was already too wrecked. But my another car took the second place. Hah! Then, during the race, one car burned down, it was thrown down from the precipice and even the scoop that threw it down there almost fell down. Everybody were looking forward for an explosion, but this didn't come. I personally would have enjoyed some more action. It would have made the event even more interesting. Then after the car-race came the freaky-motorbikes' race. One of the bikes was completely built out of wood, only the engine and one other part (I don't remember exactly, which, and I couldn't definetely translate it either) were made from metal. One of the bikes had a toilet seat for a seat and there was a place for alco at the back of this bike. They were really funny to look at. Then after this race came the hillclimbing competition. Unfortunately there were so few people in competition. Well, not a surprise, because this competition was not part of the master's competition. But yeah, I was hoping to see a lot of racers I know from my work from past years, but most of them weren't there. Oh, I have to go to a Estonian cup competition. The competition went well: Ummi- one of the masters, climbed to top of the hill with 8,8 seconds. This was fast. And some more people went to the top. I could say that the event was well organized. The commentator was also really good- he told us jokes about Opel, but when he discovered that Opel won the broken-cars race, he was "speechless". Haha. But yeah, the comments were good, sometimes we were laughing our asses off.

Now I'm going to study some German and deal with my EVS stuff again. Hold your thumbs for me now, people! Let's hope, I will get a yes-answer from some institutions now. I'll hopefully find out this week.... Oi oi oi...

Tschüs!

PS: Tiny pieces of joy in this complicated world are the last hiding places. -11th September
PS2: My internet is obviously too slow.

9/10/2010

Ha!

1

Who will get rid of her beginners driver's licence next Wednesday?
Yeah, you're right. Me!
Be jealous. :)

0

Eeach person, like Moon, has their hidden side that they never show to anybody. - 7th September

9/06/2010

0

What you dream of or whatever you can manage - do it! Start now. - September

Each place you love, is the world for you. - 3rd September

9/04/2010

Biffy Clyro - Bubbles

0

I am going to see them. Can you even imagine this? It is a dream. If I couldn't see Korn, then I will see this. And this is going to be just perfect! Really. I wanted to go and see them only when I had heard their album "Puzzle" and then I listened to this. Oh my god.
They are legend.
Just listen, this says it all...

4

Every time I wash socks, there is at least one missing. And I discover that after washing them. And then I have to do a research on where has the missing sock gone.
It's a damn curse. :)

9/03/2010

Summer's gone, school's begun, things have changed, nothing's the same

3

So. I finished the last post about my life from the point where I was going to go to Huko's wedding. Well, yeah. The wedding was awesome. A lot of hansa and home-made beer. We watched punk-singing festival alltogether and danced and sang to it. It was really awesome.
On Sunday, after Huko's wedding, Kaie and Kirke came to the village. We went boating and made a cake and sent away Frederike. Yeah, the last volunteer from the row of every-week leaving parties. Then after that I worked a lot.
I had couple of free days on the 20th and 21st of August. I volunteered in Võru City Days' in one handicrafts place where I had to fold boxes and cover them with cloth. I had to teach it to people. Then the following day I went to a hunter's summer days where I tried to catch fish, but was unlucky at it.... I've been out of practice, obviously. After that I went to my grandma's sister's birthday and then went back to work. At work we had a lot of sauna parties. These sauna parties weren't like the ones I was used to. People have changed. I really liked the new people in the gang but some old people were almost unrecognizable by their behaviour. Sad.
On the 26th I had a class reunion. It was really great to see my old classmates and talk to them. It wasn't like basic school any more. People have changed in four years so much that you can't even recognize them if you don't know it's them. But we had fun. I went to a neigbhour tourist-farm with two of my classmates to ask if there's a guitar we could borrow to play. There was only a bunch of women (maybe a 100) and then two or three guys. Hmm. Interesting....
About the class reunion. Well, a lot of people thought of themselves as bosses and thought they were better than others, which caused a lot of arguments. But then again, I talked to some of my classmates in a way I had never talked to them. In conclusion I can say, that it was a beautiful night out.
After my class reunion there was a summer ending disco in the village on Saturday. Oh, we danced a lot. The DJ-s were from Club Madhouse so there was different music from the usual. Afterwards we had a sauna party again and I spoke to Jaanus until 5 o'clock about really interesting topics I can't write here. But it was a great talk.
On Sunday morning I went home to see Maris and Maive who were supposed to visit me. It was really great to see them again, too. I spent almost the whole day with them
On Monday there was the huge village-meeting about the working rules in the village. It lasted almost the whole day. In the evening I went to Tartu to see the new psycho-puppies. Oh, it reminded me of last year, when I was a puppie. The people I spoke to tried to impress each other with the things they had done in their lives etc. In the end we went to Zavood where my friends also came and had a lovely evening out. It feels so great to be in Tartu again. I needed it. I needed something different to my life than just work. I missed my friends and now they are again in the reach of a hand.
It is school also again. I've had only 4 subjects but I already love them. This year's subjects are very interesting and I'm really looking forward to learn new things. I know it sounds geeky, but that's the way things seem to me right now.
I also bought a ticket to see Biffy Clyro in October. Can you imagine my joy! Biffy Clyro is performing in Estonia and the tickets are only 350 kroons! Wow. Really cool. This is just wonderful. CAn't wait to see the concert already. Only less than 2 months left to it.
And I'm gonna see The Bootleg Beatles on the 17th.
And next week is the hillclimb.
Oh, life is so busy.
And has changed so much in just 1 week.
I've realised a lot of things and made some decisions. Now I just have to hope I can actually keep them.

1

The weather is a perfect reflection of my mood.

8/31/2010

Quotes from the whole summer.

0

Okay, as I was really busy the whole summer, I decided now to write down all the quotes I was supposed to write during the summer.

Believe, that the meaning of your life is exactly what you want it to be. - 22nd July
Each person is the architect of their own happiness. -25th, 26th July
You have to choose your faith, not to just agree with it. - 29th July
Use the hours! - 31st July

August- Never give up on what you want to do. A person with big dreams is more powerful than a person with all the facts.

All that shines, is not gold. - 1st, 2nd August
Most of the truths are told while joking. -8th, 9th August
Not to change that already is, not to ruin the moment. - 12th August
Sometimes the most realistic things are the ones we can't see. -14th August
Each thing has their own time and place. -18th August
Important things are the shortest to tell. -21st August
Be the master of your will and the slave of your conscience. - 26th August
Truth is the craving of the dark nights towards moonlight. - 31st August

8/14/2010

Hey-ho from the dreamland

3

I haven't written here for so long now. So today I'm in the mood and the post will probably be quite long....
So, what has happened so far? Hmmm :) I'm gonna start from today and will go back in time.
Today I will go to Huko's wedding, yesterday there was the wedding entrance in the village. Hmm. Before that I was working and I had my free days after working for two weeks and 1 day straightforward. So, G is back in town! Me and Kristjan went to welcome him at the bus station and went to Huko's place. It was a really great night there and we had a lot of fun. I saw Carmen after a long time and met Lill finally well. Really cool. Then the following day, when G finally got up (we ended up in my apartment because he wanted to have a shower but eventually he was too tired and had too bad hangover... ) (I was up early) we went with my roommate and with G to the central to get my car. And then we went to my friends' place and went from there to the riverside to practice guitar for Liisi's birthday. It was a really cool jamming. Then there was a really awesome birthday where I almost fell asleep because I was so tired. And then there was TArtuff also, where we watched one movie.

Okay, now going back in time again. Judith1 and Nicole have left the village to go home (where they both already are) so there were the leaving parties. Then we played volleyball with Huko, Jaan and Jaanus at eight in the morning after Judith had left. Great start for the day. At least it wasn't very hot.

Then, what else. I have been working a lot. I have cooked a lot- I've made bread, ice cream, a lot of usual food, cakes etc... Can't even count any more.....

But yeah, today I'll go to Huko's wedding which has already lasted for one night, but I couldn't go yesterday... From the people who were there yesterday, I heard that it's a great party, so I'm really looking forward to this.... :)) Tomorrow morning will arrive Kaie and Kirke in the village and in the evening will be the leaving party for Frederike.

It's pity that all the people are leaving from the village, but at the same time- G is back for three weeks, Olivia will be back soon, Lauris is back, so..... Really awesome!

And I'm gonna have a class reunion next week.

I'm so happy right now. Life just can't be better.... :)

7/22/2010

So much to do, so little time to do it....

0

I've thought of blogging for almost two weeks now. I think every day that I should do it, but "just do it" doesn't work that easily.
Well, anyway, it's gonna be a long post now.

Some weeks ago there was the folklore festival where I volunteered. I was at the information centre of the folk. Our group was really cool and our boss, who was only a year older than me ran around in the folk area and did everything. So we called him running-Janno. But it was cool. I listened to a lot of Estonian folk music as the stage was right in front of me and saw also foreing groups. I really liked Turkish group because the guys from this group warned me from horny Turkish guys. Haha. Then some people came to ask from us whether we are also selling underpants with folk logo on it. Yikes. I saw a two-necked guitar with 24 strings on it. Sander Szavo who owned it, improvised his performance a lot and talked about the guitar. I was truly amazed by it. As it was very hot during the whole festival, we cooled ourselves down in the fountain that was next to our tent.

After the folk ended (which was pity, I would have wanted it to last longer) I went to Maarja village the next day. I found out there that the summer camp that was supposed to be held in my home was cancelled because of the horrible heat. So we made a new timetable where we put all kinds of activities- hiking in the forest, orienteering with radio stations, swimming, ride with the local boat Lonni, water war and of course a visit to Rõuge. I also had my birthday during the village camp. It was really cool- at twelwe at night we were in the sauna with some people and they wished me a happy birthday very early. Then I was woken up by Reeda and Lauris early in the morning. During the breakfast the whole village sang happy birthday to me, I had a cake for dinner and the village gave me also a cake for dinner with candles on it. Later at night we had a co-inhabitants party at the boat bridge and almost everybody came. I got a scarf as a present from volunteers and a lot of candies and wine and a bracelet and a fridgemagnet from Austria. I really liked that day.

I had a party with my relatives also on the end of that week. It was funny. My relatives and family acts really funny when they are drunk.... Hmm. I'm not going to talk about myself...

But anyway... Now I'm again in the village. Working. I helped to make sour cucumbers and made juice for the first time. And it's berry time! So it means a lot of work during the night because right now you can't do anything during the day. It's too damn hot. And it will continue to be this way. Oh la la.

I've also decided that I will do my EVS next year and will hope to start it next August or the ending of July. I already sent some applications to some organizations. Let's see how it goes. I will send some more applications when I have time. So I have to hold my thumbs right now. I have to see if some organizations will reply. Now it's almost all about waiting.....

Sorry, I didn't make this post a very long one. I'm just not used to being in the computer much and it's hot and everything... So if you wanna know more about my life, then I still have a cellphone... :)

Hugs!

7/14/2010

7/02/2010

Oh, just give me enough will to do something....

0

Exactly like the heading says. I have had free days this week and I haven't been lazier. Although there is so much to do still...
So. On Sunday I went to Põltsamaa, for Kaie's birthday. It was a great chillout time there and I got to see my friends. Gosh, I had missed them. I had also missed Tartu, where I stayed on Saturday night. I put up posters with Kerttu, Kirke and Karl in Tartu and sent some posters with Karl to Paide, too. Yeah, I'm promoting the boat race. It's already tomorrow.
But back to the topic. On Monday we came to Tartu to have a session ending party. It was good and funny and we had so much fun. On Tuesday I came to Võru to visit Maris. Her belly looks already so big. And cute. Well, there's only two weeks left, too. I hope the baby will be born on my birthday. That'd be so lovely.
On Wednesday I had folk festival meeting and boat race meeting and I also started organizing the village camp. I've played a guitar a lot and just rested a lot. And now i should figure out what to do during the Maarja küla camp and should put things together, but I'm way too lazy....
Tomorrow will be the boat race so I will be busy the whole day. On Sunday we'll go hiking and will have sauna in the evening with friends at my place and then on Monday or Tuesday I will probably go to Tartu to get myself new glasses for my birthday. And then after that will be the folklore festival and the village camp and a lot of work.

I took my strenght together and watched yesterday evening a movie that had been in my computer for ages. It's name is "The diving bell and the butterfly" (in French "Le Scaphandre et le Papillon"). It's about a guy, who has a massive stroke and after a three-weeks come wakes up with a locked in sydrome. His right eye will be sewed together because there is some kind of problem with it and so he can communicate with the world only through his left eye. The only way to communicate is by blinking. He and his physiotherapist figure out a way to communicate and the guy wants to write a book. Only with eyeblinking. The movie is based on the book written by the main character and is a true story. It's a really interesting movie to watch- the beginning is made through the view of the stroke-guy (through his eyes) and there are no exaggerations either. At least it seems to me so. I am planning to read the book as soon as I will have time (yeah, this will be in the far future then, probably) but anyway I recommend the book and the movie to all the people. It's a thought-provoking movie and gives a really good description of the syndrome and the feelings and thoughts of the people who suffer from it.

7/01/2010

0

If you want something, then the whole Universe will help you secretly in making your wishes come true. -26th June

Start from the necessary things, continue with possible things and you'll notice suddenly that you're doing stuff that are impossible to do... - 30th June

Happiness is the beginning of the summer morning. -July

6/23/2010

A psychologist....

0

  1. A psychologist never argues or fights!We just do participant or non-participant observation...
  2. A psychologist is never wrong, the problem is that you´re watching the whole thing from another point of view!
  3. For a psychologist, there is no such thing like ugly people, just people with the visual area quite or little damaged, because we are all beautiful! (Yes, everybody...this is positive psichology).
  4. No matter how many alcool a psychologist has drunk, he is always sober. They just adapt to the sudden modifications of the social context (and the modification of the vision). So, he can always explain the bio-psico-physiological factors that are occuring in your body as well!Isn´t that great???We are life long teachers...
  5. Because of Pavlov, we can teach things to your dog/cat and develop a trully and rich relation based on scientific knowledge
  6. Be careful about how you seat, how you touch your hair, why do you wet your lips, the way you stare, the way you smile, the way you dispose your feet and how you cross your legs, whom your body is in front , all that can be signals you are sending. And for you disgrace, we know what that means. Truly, psychologists already rule the world
  7. Psychologists are legends, the others are just statistics.
  8. You can always talk about sex with us, we are used to it.
These statements are taken from Facebook club "Reasons to date a psychologist"

Quotation time!

0

As you have probably noticed, my horrible internet connection at work doesn't allow me sometimes even to look at my mailbox, and in no way I can post something here. So. A few quotes' days have passed. Here they are:
Losing means learning, not giving up. -19th of June
Everythind changes but nothing disappears - 20-21st of June
Find some time every day to reach yourself. - Today

My Midsummer's Eve won't me anything remarkable. I'll stay at home for a little while and then will go to work in the evening. There will be some kind of campfire in the village, so I'm hoping to be there at that time....

I have only three days left to work this month and then I'll be free until the village camp. Or well, not completely free- there will be some birthdays and I'll go to Tartu and Põltsamaa and there will be Rõuge Boat Race and Waterparty to organize with the youth club and there will be Võru Folk Festival, too. Although I have no information about what I'm gonna do there. The meetings have taken place in such bad times- I've been to work or away somewhere....

Oh, and it's raining on my free days. Wondreful. I will stay white as a swan this summer.

6/17/2010

I'm ill. Again.

6

I have extremely sore throat and am on drugs. Got antibiotics today.

But now...
After being home for some hours I went to Võru, where I was supposed to have my folkore festival meeting. Imagine my anger, when I found out that it was cancelled and placed on the 18th of June. We didn't receive any letter with a notice and I think it's unnormal. I mean, I took a free day from work to go to the meeting and then got to stay at home for so little time. I was also supposed to go to work in the evening after the meeting but i didn't want to go there too early. So I just had to stay in Võru and hang around. Well, at least I found a birthday and graduation present for my sister.
Then, on Saturday, there was a really busy day in the village. We had some memorial park opening and a cleaning day and had to make a cake and I had to perform with Heikki on guitar two songs.
It went well, but I was really tired by the evening. Sunday was a more relaxing day as there were so few inhabitants in the house. I just had to cook and look after them. Not a problem.
On Monday there was some kind of training about communiating with the inhabitants' parents. It took most of the day. In the evening there was a football match between the village and Erastvere in Kanepi. We lost it. But whatever, our goalkeeper was from their side. And they cheated. And, deep in our hearts, we still won. :)
Oh, I've been watching football from TV also. I am changing. Kerttu, be happy :)

Some quotes also: (although I have missed the exact date for them, as usually)
It's not easy to find happiness inside of yourself and it is not possible to find it from somewhere else. - 10th June
Whenever you will fall, always take something with you when you get up. - 15th June

6/10/2010

Not much but still something...

1

Been working for three days now. That's why I haven't posted anything. I had already forgotten about my quotes that I was supposed to post here, but I'll try to do it tomorrow. Right now I'm gonna write a bit about my work.

Well, there hasn't happened anything remarkably interesting. Been doing my usual stuff in the village. Well, I had a little time to play guitar. Played it with Judith1 in front of the Eesti maja and it was such a great chillout time. I have this kind of weird feeling when I'm in a group of people who are chilling around somewhere and doing something cool and cultural: e.g. when I was in France then we were having a free night to do whatever we wanted and ended up next to the water mirror near the river in a group where some guy played some Beatles' songs and we drank beer and just sat there and it was just cool. It's some kind of special feeling. And I felt like this when me and Judith were playing guitar and sitting outside. Awesome.

Then, I went to Jõrumine (some kind of singing lesson in the village) and played guitar together with Heikki (he's leading the lesson) and it was also really cool, although for some songs I only knew some chords, not all. But I'll try to learn some new chords. I should.
Then, I started reading "A curious incident of the dog in the night". It's about an Aspergious teenage boy who starts to investigate a murder of one dog. The writing style of the book is something completely different- very detailed, e.g. "he wore socks which had a tiny whole above the ankle and....". I hope you understand. So I recommend this book.

Then, today was Czech disco in Erastvere and I put together a group of people from the village who wanted to go. There were so many people coming so I had to go to Erastvere and come back, too. I didn't plan it in my first intentions. The disco was awesome. Lenka and Jiri and their friends from Czech Republic did some karaoke and danced around and it was really cool. Then there were some games and dances. It was a really cool evening. I love my job more and more every day.

Some of the inhabitants are hugging me every day and giving me kisses and it's so cool. It has never been this way before. I think I should stay volunteering in one house when the summer's over. Only sometimes be in some other house.

Right now I'm at home. For less than 24hrs. But it's still something. I will have folk festival meeting tomorrow and then will go back to the village for a week.

But right now I'm gonna finish. It's getting late.

Hugs!

6/05/2010

Johnny Marr

2

I was downloading some new music today and wanted to get myself an artist named Johnny Marr. When I searched for it, I got a surprising response- John Frusciante "The Empyrean". I found out that Johnny Marr had done a guest appearance in John's album.
Kerttu, did you know that?

6/04/2010

0

Think that life begins with every sunrise.

Five necks

2

Again, while reading my "Guitar Gods" book, I found out that a guy named Rick Nielsen used a five neck guitar during some of his shows. I googled in the internet a little to find out how this guitar looks like and how it would be to play it. Well, here's a picture or well, example of a person (not sure if it's Rick) playing a five neck :
Then, I googled a bit more and found this really cool guitar Rick Nielsen has. It's a two necked beauty. Just look at Rick playing it:
And futhermore, I found a monstrum guitar with twelwe necks. How can someone even play it? I, personally would like to have 24 hands for this one.

And I found a page which lists top 20 weirdest guitars. Check it out.

Such an amazing world :)

6/03/2010

"Yeah, that's what they tend to do"

1

I was reading my "Guitar Gods" book today to find some artists to download and read about Mike Bloomfield. When I read that he died of heroin overdose and told it to Kirke, she replied: "Yeah, thats what they tend to do."
Hilarious, but true :)

6/02/2010

0

I saw a fox today.

Today's quote:

Discover the world!

6/01/2010

0

Remember that a miracle is neither flying in the air nor walking on water, but walking on earth.
- June


Don't ask (today) that why or how, but just enjoy the ice-cream on your plate.

5/31/2010

An amazing week in Mküla

3

On Tuesday, after my exams were over, I packed my stuff and hurried to the village. It was supposed to be G's leaving sauna party. It was cool. One of Nicole's friends was visiting her and talked to her a lot. Her name is Tess and she wants to become a psychologist. How cool is that? Kristjan in studying psycho. There's just so much to talk about it. Fascinating. On the party there were also Karmen and her friends, Jordan with some girl, Huko, Liisu. Sauna was overcrowded. But it was a good party.
On Wednesday G was in toimkond for the last time and we helped him a lot. The food was delicious as it is always when G is cooking. In the evening there was the village leaving party for G. Before the party, I gave him my my leaving present which were dices with poses and places on them and a book by Nikki Sixx "The Heroin Diaries". There was also a lottery ticked which represents friendship. He liked the present a lot- showed dices to everybody and couple of days later told me that he had already read about 100 pages from the book. I'm glad about that. At least I nailed it with the present. During the village leaving party we danced a lot with the inhabitants and everybody said good words to G and gave their leaving presents. It was a little sad evening. After the official village party, there was a small sauna party without sauna in the village. We sat there and talked and had fun. G-s friends Peter came to the village and Jiri and Merilin were also there. Jiri gave a tin with rotten fish to G as a leaving present. It was supposed to smell really bad and most of the people didn't believe it. We made a lot of nasty jokes about the tin and finally decided to open it. Oh my freaking god! The smell was awful. We made only a small whole into the tin but it was more than enough. G went out, puking. I have never seen people moving so fast out of the sauna. The smell was just so disgusting. You can't imagine how bad it is until you haven't smelled it. Crazy. At least it was fun.
On Thursday I was 1/3 o toimkond and made lunch. After that I went to Võru because there was a folkore festival meeting. Talked about different things we have to do during the festival and and after that I wanted to go home. Before getting to my car I saw Lenka and some of her Czech friends. While talking to them I accidentally swallowed a mosquito. It didn't feel good at all. When I got home, I helped my parents to fix some computer problems and just talked to them. My mom has been so talkactive recently. I feel like I'm a real psychologist for her. At least I get to practise my future job. After being home for couple of hours I went back to the village where I wathed a movie and had a good night's sleep. I hadn't slept much until that night.
On Friday there was the village singing festival and May's birthday party which Eesti maja had to organize. The singing festival (we didn't have to organize that, luckily) was so heartwarming and lovely. When the birthday's party started then most of the people left because the party had lasted already for a quite long time. We decided to finish the party at 9. After that I put Kaire to bed and then we went to the boat bridge with all the volunteers because it was Olivia's birthday party. She turned 30. We went to a small island with a boat and stayed there for some hours. Made a campfire and chatted and kept ourselves warm. Was a really great chillout time. On our way back to the boat bridge we hit a lot of trees because two people trying to guide the sailor is not a brilliant idea. We sang a lot the song "The sound of silence" too. I guess it was the song of the night. After we got to the boat bridge, some of the volunteers left. Me, G, Olivia and Kristjan stayed until the morning and didn't go to sleep. Well, Olivia and G went to sleep but me and Kristjan had to work. We made campfire, drank and talked and had fun. I got
thrown into the river with all my clothes by Kristjan and G, because I was mad at Kristjan for taking down an alive fir. I was completely soaking wet after that but had my revenge. After getting out of the water I hugged G who got quite wet, and also Kristjan. Mwahahahah. Then I tried to dry next to the campfire until it got 7 in the morning and I had to go to work. Right now I have a sore throat, no voice, heavy cough and a very runny nose. But well, it was a great night and the last night for this time when we partied with G and well, it was Olivia's birthday! I just hope I'll get better soon.
On Saturday I was in toimkond and was really tired. Cleaned the house, too. We also had to heat the sauna but I fell asleep and Reeda did it for me. Bless her! She is a total angel. How can someone be so good? Amazing. On Saturday I went to sauna and after that tried to watch a movie but fell asleep. I slept about 12 hours alltogether. Oh, how good it felt.
On Sunday I relaxed most of the time and helped Reeda with cooking. Found out a lot of stuff what I can't write in here. Made some mushroom-vegetable soup for G for dinner, because it was the last time (for this time) he ate in the village. It's really sad he left. There are a lot of changes going on in the village and him leaving the village is already a big loss. Oh, Eesti maja held also an inhabitants meeting. After the dinner I packed my stuff and took G to the bus station as he had a lot of stuff to take with him. I was mad about my working schedule in June so I couldn't be properly sad for G leaving. Crap. Now he's gone. It was great 7 months I knew him and I hope to be in touch with him through e-mails. Hopefully he'll come back to the village in December. Well, looking forward to that. After sending G away, I went to Rõuge for Lya's birthday. Kerli and Jaanus and Ivar and Mare and Lembit were also there. Also was a person name Anne (?). Talked about a lot of things. About youth club stuff, about the work in the information centre (I used to work there for 3 summers), about boat race etc. Was a good night and got my thoughts away from all the bad stuff that happened before I left.
I really hope everything will go well and as planned. Right now I'm going to drink some more tea and write some reports and then do my homework, what I have a lot to do.
Wish me luck!


PS: I just found out that I passed my anatomy exam! Got a C! Oh, I'm so glad! :)