It's all about self-confidence

This week has been pretty much usual. On Monday I was out the whole day in Tiverton again, where the residents of different homes had their representatives meeting. All the other days were usual- working in the house, doing a lot of things in the IT. Went to the leisure centre a lot, tried not to eat too much. The result- when I weighed myself the end of the week, I found I had put on a kilo! How come is that possible? Timi tells me that I have gained lots of muscles, and that she can actually see that from my body shape. But what the hell? I wanna lose some weight, not put on! Maybe I should reduce the amount of milk I drink? Never mind. I'm gonna continue my balanced and healthy active lifestyle. In the hope that it will actually have an effect.
And to be honest, I can't stop- I am addicted to the leisure centre. I just feel bad when I haven't done my usual workout in the evening. I tried Aqua Zumba again this week and realized it still isn't for me- the usual Zumba is brilliant, but aqua version of it is just too slow for me. I also went to the Yoga class on Thursday and I loved it. Will add it now to my timetable. It was nice to stretch all my hurting muscles and relax.
One of the residents died on Friday morning in the hospital. I'm glad that I hadn't worked with that residents too much because it is easier for me. I didn't react to it as bad as I thought I would have.

Then. As usually, I get pissed off by some tiny (big to me) things at work that are related to other worker's attitudes or things they say sometimes. There are lots of things I would like to say to some people, but I'm too scared of them. I'm scared of some people in the place I go to work. I can't write much of it here, but I really wish I could have the self-confidence to go and actually tell them about things I think are wrong and should be given thought of. To improve the working quality of all the people.
But I can't. Not at least now. I'm thinking about doing it right before I come to Estonia, I hope I will be given the chance. I hope I won't ruin it by being too scared. I would like to be more self-confident to stand up for the things that I think are right. Because if I won't stand up it will stay haunting in my head and heart for my entire life. I know that. Because if I don't do that, I will regret letting go the opportunity to improve the lives of the people I care for.
I wish I could be like G, who's not afraid to tell things out loud even if it might cost him his job.
I'd like to be like him- to be confident enough to fight for the things that I know are right.

Because otherwize I'm just torturing myself for not doing the right thing.

PS: my apartement-mate is really good- I don't know what I'd do without her.