Today, when I went to the leisure centre, I got a lift with a friend of mine to there. When I stepped into the leisure centre, 3 of my aqua-fit and other classes friends came out. I just greeted them and then one of them dragged me with great enthusiasm to see one advertisement about a christmas evening and asked if I would join in, looking very happy and exited about it. I first thought, that I might not go, because it's pretty expensive but then I looked at my budget and I can manage to go. So I just texted the friend to let her know I'm joining them.
In the leisure centre, everybody always greet me and know my face. I know people in the area. I've got friends here to go out with.
I just realized I have a life here now. It's not the same as some months ago. I've got really good friends here. I have got a leisure centre where I go with my friends. It's my leisure centre. I've got a local home pub to go to. I've got home. When the project ends, I could find a job here. I could actually live here. And that feels frightening. Having those feelings, when I miss Estonia as crazy, plan my trip home, have everybody waiting for me. It's just weird.
I'm scared of having a life here.
So far I managed to avoid (yeah, exactly- avoid) having good friends here so that it'd be easier to return home. But without noticing I've managed to get myself a real life here. It doesn't seem like some kind of a EVS-bubble anymore. It seems real.
And that frightens the hell out of me right now.
Guess I realized today, where I actually am and what I'm doing. Guess I woke up.
11/21/2011
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