So it starts again...

I've got about 3 weeks left here now and guess what? I'm not happy again.
Or well, I don't know what I am and what I am not.
I know that there are people every day that keep asking me about my feelings, keep asking me how much I have left here.
This weekend I had G over here- I made some new friends whilst out in the pub with him. Why now? Why did I discover this amazing pub about 1km from me now? Why? Why? Why? F**k!
I said bye to G yesterday- who knows when I'm gonna see him again. Gonna miss him. It always hard when your best friends are far away and you can't talk to them much. And well, I might see him in the summer, but maybe not. I guess the time will tell...
My friends who started off in the leisure centre with just the spinning, are increasing the amount of classes, they are doing. They just added a magnificient class to their long list. A hard class called kettlercise. I'd love to try that. But I should not. I have to decrease the amount of stuff I do. It hurts- I want to go and do more! I know I wont be able to do half as many classes when I go home because of the lack of time and money as well. It all hurts! And it hurts to think I won't see my friends every day again. And my roommate, who is just amazing!
I now walk around everywhere, keep seeing people for the last time (probably for the last time ever). I look at everything and think that I couldn't stay here for another 7 months, but a month or two more wouldn't hurt me. I know I wouldn't probably think of that when I had those 2 extra months, but still.
Life is closing up here.
And starting to open up at home again.
Lots of plans, people to see, work to do. I have a perfect life waiting for me at home. I haven't been there for 7 months when I return. There are new people born who I can meet.... There is a lot to go back to.
And I'm happy and I'm not happy to go back.
Because I can always return home, but it's not that easy to come and live here again. And also.... the world is full of different countries to discover. I don't think I'll be returning to UK in the next couple of years at least...
The heart is heavy as a stone.

Who can remember when I last left Estonia, crying and telling that 7 months and I'll be home... Telling that I don't wanna come back to England. Well, those 7 months were too damn short.

Another beginning. Another dream to follow.

Maybe Denmark/Africa next?