12/14/2010

I feel....

5

tired, exhausted. It seems like my body is going to stop responding soon. My sleeping cycle is messed up, I feel tired all the time. It's hard to focus on important things. It feels like I'm having a hangover for 3 days already, my eyes are hurting, I sleep very little time at night and some time during the day but it doesn't help, because when I want to sleep during the day then a lot of people call me all the time and wake me up. And my neighbours decide to have guests or turn on the music also at the same time I try to sleep when I get home from my exams...

Oh, only 6 more days.

It's my own decision to live like this. And I'm glad, because soon it'll be over.
Having 3 exams and 2 tests in one week when there's a weekend before when you can't study, is not the best choice I've made.
But I can manage that.
And I'll be stronger afterwards. I'm testing my limits.
Oh I like tests!

12/12/2010

I'm wordless now.

2

I just got a call from some guy named Heigo who told he had my number in his mobile phone and he started calling to all the numbers he had to find out which numbers are still existing. So. He had my number with the name Kacey. He has lived in Tartu and has not been to Rõuge many times. He told me that maybe we know each other through RATE.ee or something. Anyway, I'm gonna meet him on Wednesday.
I have no idea who this guy is, from where I know him, when I met or spoke to him or whatsoever. Kinda weird. He remembered that I had blonde hair and was from Rõuge.

I'm dazed.

But it's really cool to know there are people in the world who try to warm up old friendships, although I have no idea who this person is.
But I'll find it out on Wednesday.

12/06/2010

Behind blue eyes

1

is not a song by the Limp Bizkit, but is a song by The Who.

Yeah, I am not even surprised any more.

This kind of discoveries are not rarities for me anymore.

12/01/2010

Where the wild roses grow....

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The beauty is in your eyes. I just found my new favourite flower.

Look brightly and carefully and you'll see your joy, because happiness might be blind but it's not invisible. - December
I wish you to live truly in every day of your life. - 1st Dec

11/30/2010

My Italian trip vol2

2

So. It's time for the next part now.
The following morning, which was the first official day of our workshops, arrived Slovaks in the morning at breakfast time. We had already started to get to know the Czech people. There was a very lovely girl named Heli, then Ivana, Johanna and Antonio. Antonio is an EVS volunteer who is doing his EVS in Czech Republic and Ivana is doing her EVS in Spain, in the place where Antonio is from. So from the first moment we met Czech group we realised that they were really cool people. When the Slovak group arrived, then they were also introducing themselves to us: Svenja, Jana, Kaja, Ivan, Natalja. After breakfast we went to the garage where we were supposed to have our workshops. So, in the beginning we had energizers by Antonio and namegames by Svenja. To get to know each other, we had to draw pictures of each other, so that we were sitting in circles and changing seats every one minutes. We also had to talk to the person we were drawing pictures of. It was a great way to get to know the names of the people and to find out things about them. in the beginning the people told very often to Daniele (the organizer) the name Antonio and also to Alessandro. The pictures looked really funny- e.g. Antonio looked like a Viking, Bruno looked very feminine and I looked like I had 4 shoulders..... Anyway we also made a name-game that we made in Turkey, too. It was about telling your name and making some kind of move and others had to repeat it. After that we made an agreement with rules that we applied to the whole project. Then after that we had lunch. After lunch we went to Sonia's home (Sonja is Bruno's sister) because we needed to get to the internet to download our presentation of Estonian handicraft's. Bruno and Sonia live in a very beautiful place with an awesome view to the whole town. And their house is very beautiful, too. Their mother, father and sister were at home and offered us grappa and some cookies made by their granny. Italians are so friendly and hospitable. From that afternoon I completely fell in love with Italians. So, after we downloaded our presentation, we went back to our workingplace. We had to make a small presentation about our handicraft's but we didn't have any computers. So we drew a picture and I presented it. Went well. After that workshop we had to discover Benestare. It meant that we were divided into teams and had to find certain people or institutions in Benestare. I was in a group with Antonio, Sonia and Kaja. We had to find an organization named "Pro Loco". This organization organized local big events and they were also cooking food for our youth exchange. So with the help of Sonia, we went to municipality house, where Pro Loco was supposed to be located. Unfortunately the head of Pro Loco wasn't there any more and her home was pretty far from Benestare, so we called the head of Pro Loco from the phone in the municipality house. We had to make an interview about handicrafts with her. So, after making the phone-interview we had to make a dance with local people and an act where we had to show our adventures. We made a pantomime about making cheese - Antonio was the goat and we had to milk him etc. Then we also danced. One other group had to make a musical and they made a rap musical. It was really funny. After the worksop there was time for reflection groups where we had to discuss about the problems we are having during the exchange. I was in group with Antonio, Kaja, Sonia. I had to also replace Meelika during the team-leaders meetings because she was ill. So after the meetings we had dinner. During the dinner the Hungarian group also arrived. There were 3 people in the group- Gabriella, David and Matyi. After the dinner we were supposed to organize a theme party which was also supposed to be our welcome party. We chose the topic Latin and in the evening the party started. We made some dances and then just danced. Some local people also came to watch us. It seemed like we were the screen and the local people were the audience. Weird. Anyway, I started talking to Heli a lot and in the evening we were probably the last ones to go to sleep. I discovered she was interested in the disabilities field and told her about Maarja küla. She is now interested in becoming an EVS volunteer here. I'm very glad for that. Heli is probably one of the coolest people I met in Benestare, but I can say that about most of the people. Oh, all the people were so great.
The following day was the day when Estonia had to make energizers and name-games. I didn't know that many name-games, so Francesca (the other organizer) helped me out. After the energizer's part Antonio organized team building exercise. In the exercise we firstly had to climb through a spiderweb without breaking it. And each whole could only be used 3 times. Obviously we broke it. :) When everybody had climbed through we were divided into teams. Our exercise was to build an instrument to get an egg down from the second floor's balcony without breaking it. The things to build the instrument from, were given to us. I was in the team with Lii, Heli and Gabriella. We made a plane for the egg, where we put it in a secured way. Our plane had written on it "I believe I can fly" and "Super-egg". We also created an egg catcher which was lying on the ground and was supposed to reduce the shock when the plane fell down from the second floor. After creating the machines we had to throw down the egg from the balcony. I had to throw the egg of my group. It landed securely on the catcher but unfortunately had small cracks in it. So - we "broke" the egg. But when we threw down the egg, we sang "I believe I can fly....". It was a really funny workshop and I could do this again anytime. It was fun to throw the eggs down. Only one egg was not broken. All other team's broke their's. So, then we had lunch. Pasta. And french fries. The meal was really good. And Estonian guys, hungry as they were, took the second round of pasta, too. We ate alltogether very much during the exchange. After the lunch we had another energizer. I made the playing cards game, where people were divided into 4 groups based on the suits of the cards. We were sitting in the circle and I showed the people cards one by one. The person whose suite was shown, had to sit to the laps of other person etc. The game ended when one of the plastic chairs was broken because there were too many people sitting on it. After that we went to municipality house to meet the local mayor meer. He told us that we're gonna have Italian night tomorrow and how glad he was that Benestare hosted our exchange. We also made a group picture and after that went back to our working place. Over there we started creating things out of clay. In the beginning we were told a bit about the techniques of making claywork by our "teacher" Bella. So, the first thing I made, was a mug. After that we had to make the first human on Earth. I made Homer Simpson with a nice six-pack (the beer wasn't invented yet). My Homie was starting to get on his feet and was a bit monkey'sh. He had a very surprised expression on his face and it came from the fact that when he saw further, he saw Marge. I was sitting in one table with Antonio and Sonia and there was also one Italian guy Giovanni. Sonia made a mermaid, Giovanni made Mickey mouse and Antonio made a very old man. After we finished making the things we had to present them to others. Matyi made Chuck Norris and his son (who had no mother- Chuck Norris doesn't need a female person to have babies). Anyway, after that we had again the reflection groups, the team-leaders meeting and dinner. At night we had Czech culture night. We danced one Czech dance and sang songs and tried their traditional food, learn new words. As everybody were pretty tired, the party faded out fast. Oh, yeah, in the beginning of the party we also celebrated Kaja's nameday. So we had wine. Our group also bought some wine from the shop so it was a great evening.
The next day we had a trip out. We went to Siderno again in the morning. I was in Bruno's car again and it was really cool, because he drove quite fast on the curvy roads. Hehe. There were 5 people stuck in one car but it was okay for us. In Siderno we had free time until 2 o'clock in the afternoon. We had our lunches packed with us and so we went to the beach. Me and Mart went swimming and a lot of people looked at us as if we were crazy. We were the only ones swimming... :) The water was warm enough for us and it was so blue and clear water. We spent about two hours in the beach and sunbathed. Then the sun went behind clouds and we went to explore Siderno. As our team already knew the town, we just wet shopping. I bought earrings for myself. Karel and Mart bought themselves Mickey-mouse shirts.... At two all the people gathered in the square we were supposed to meet each others. Kaja, Svenja and Ivana had bubblemakers so they made bubbles into the sunny-again sky. It was hot and beautiful day. So, then we waited for all the car-drivers to come and went to a small city in the mountains- Gerace. The road there was even more curvy. In Gerace was a lot colder than in Siderno- we were high up in the mountains. We went to one platform where we could see the mountains and the sea at the same time. Unfortunately we didn't have much time there, but had to start treasure-hunt around in the town. We saw two churches. We had to play Zombies in front of a church for animals. We also went to one platform from where we had a marvellous look to the sea and the towns next to the sea. We had to make a fashion show over there. So after that we went to the main square of the city where we had to make a 10-minutes show about "Building our Europe". We made towers of people, hummed, danced. After the show we had some Italian cookies and tea in local cafe. We then had free time to see the city. We went back to the platform where we had made the fashion show earlier and enjoyed the view and explored the city on our way back to the square. In the square I taught Svenja to play the jew's harp (which she had bought for herself). As it was already 6 o'clock we drove back to Benestare, where we had our dinner. After dinner, at 10 was supposed to start the Italian night.... The Italian night was really great.

But I'll tell about that in the following post.....

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Nothing is extremely difficult when you divide it into smaller parts. - 30th Nov


We just divided our parts for doing homework in the psychology of individual differences. :)

Fitzgerald!?!?!?!

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I decided to have a nap today and woke up about 15mins ago. I have never hated my alarm clock this much! The reason: I just had a dream where Simon Neil had given me autographs and James and Ben Johnston were about to give.
I have no idea how the dream began, but I know that I came from some kind of concert (it wasn't Biffy's) and wanted to go to Sven's (one of my friends from NRG) place with him. And then I walked with crowd downstairs from somewhere and was in some corridor that I thought was NRG's canteen. All of a sudden I saw Simon Neil with white hair and beard sitting behind the door and resting his legs. All the other people suddenly disappeared. There was only Simon. He smiled at me and already came to me with a black pen and wanted to give me his autograph. So he gave it to me to my hand. To my left hand. I showed him one of my tattoos (which was on the left hand and was something unrecognizable and had life written into it) and I also showe him my tattoo of a puzzle piece. So he wrote his name and made something artificial on my hand were the weird tattoo was located. He made some kind of picture and connected it to my tattoo. It made complete sense in the dream. Anyway, then I asked whether I could take a picture with him and have his autograph on the usual paper, too. He agreed with it. Unfortunately Sven didn't have his mobile with camera with him, so he went to bring it. And I got a paper from some room that was behind one random door. In the room was the Biffy's staff putting together their instuments. Anyway I got back to Simon. And he had made with a split second an autograph to my paper. Then I saw James and Ben sitting at the other end of the corridor and asked Simon ifI could get autograph's from them, too. Simon told me that I should go and ask myself. So I went (and Simon continued resting his legs). As I went to the other end of the corridor, I saw that the people I considered to be Ben and James, were just some staff girls. So I asked them about the guys. They told me that they'll be here in a second. The girls wanted to see my autographs. I showed the sheet to them and had a closer look at it myself too. Simon had written name Fitzgerald many times to one side of the paper and each letter of the name was from different colour. And then there were some drawings too. I didn't look at them closer. Then I turned the page and on the other side there were some colourful signatures of Fitzgerald again and some printed words in Russian: nadežda, hšuštšeštvo (I have no idea if the last on is actually a word) and some more. Simon had printed them like people print with stamps, only difference is that the liquid was ink. And he had printed the words one by one with letter separatedly. And the explanation to it was that Simon learnt some new Russian words while being in this country. And I wondered also why he had written Fitzgerald and I realised in the dream that it was Simon's family name. Anyway, then arrived Ben and James and some other random guys. There was a door opening to the outside and a tractor with fertilizer bags behind it's back arrived. And Ben and James stepped off the tractor with blue boiler suits on and walked past me. I wanted to ask them about the autographs but then people told me to wait 'til they changed their clothes. And I also saw a glimpse of Simon smoking and watching what was happening....
And then the alarm went off.....

I was just about to get James's and Ben's autographs, too. S**t!

11/28/2010

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The truth is inside you: find yourself in you, conquer yourself, have a victory over yourself- and you'll see the truth. - 25th Nov.

11/27/2010

11/26/2010

My Italian trip vol1

2

Long time, no see. It's because I got back from another youth exchange couple of days ago. So it's time for an update about my amazing life.
On the day I started travelling to Italy, there was also our village concert in Vanemuine theater. It was a charity project that is held every year and it collects money for our village. The actors and actresses sing for free. This year the topic of the concert was 70-80's. The actors were dressed according to the style of these times and sang also very old songs. It was a really lovely concert.
Then, after the concert I went home where I packed my last things for the trip and changed clothes. Then Kaie took me to the bus station from where I went to Tallinn airport. When I got to the airport I had a lot of time so I tried to sleep on the benches. It was a little cold and very uncomfortable. Then arrived Lii and Meelika and half an hour later also Karel and Mart. Our team was together. We did a check-in and waited to get on the plane. We flew through Riga to Rome. So after two flights we arrived our first destination. We went by a local train from Fiumicino airport to Rome Termini (train station). We put our luggage there and took off to see the city. We decided to go on foot and discover the city that way. Our map-reader was Karel. Firstly we tried to get used to the traffic, which was so Italian. We headed towards Colosseum. On our way we saw one big building (unfortunately I have forgotten the name of it) and took pictures there. When we finally arrived at the Colosseum it seemed like it was going to rain soon. Luckily we had enough time to take pictures and rest a bit over there and we also walked the whole way around the Colosseum. It is a really big building. I wished we had had an opportunity to go inside, too, but that wasn't possible. Then, after seeing Colosseum we climbed some hills and saw The Forum from behind some gates. But we couldn't get in. So we wandered around some streets and finally got to see the Forum from one platform. It is really old. I felt the ancient times when even looking at it. Amazing! Then we saw some sculptures of Caesar and headed towards Vatican. On our way we saw Kapitholium,which was a very beautiful building. Then we also ate pizza in a place called VIP Pizza. Oh, how delicious the pizza was. I can still feel it on my tongue. Would love to have that again..... Anyway, finally we arrived in Vatican's main square. It wasn't as big as I had expected it to be but all the time I tried to find the markings that were mentioned in the "Angels and Demons" book by Dan Brown. I even recognized some - the fountain and the sculpture. We had a look around in the square but couldn't get in anywhere because it was late already and all Cathedrals had been closed. There was an exhibition about old books we tried to get in to, but it was only for invited quests. Pity. After exploring the square we headed back towards Termini to catch our train. We rested a bit in front of the Colosseum but then it started raining and we had to go to Termini. On our way we met Turkish guys trying to sell us umbrellas. Before they had tried to sell us scarfs. Guess they had something for every type of weather. Anyway, when we got back to Termini we had a lot of time until our train came, so we just sat there and hung around. When it was finally time to get on the train and we saw it, we were just speechless. It was a very old-looking train and we even couldn't imagine that trains like these move nowadays. We got into the train and into our coupe which was for 6 people. There were five of us and one old man also. This old man didn't definetely like us there. So, we were now stuck in the train for 10 hrs alltogether. There wasn't much space and as we tried to sleep we had our legs everywhere. I wish I had a good picture of it, because it looked extremely weird. Anyway we tried to sleep but didn't manage much. So in the morning when we got to Ardore (the city that we had to get off the train), we were pretty tired. But this doesn't matter. We got off the train and met Daniele and Massimilliano (first one was the organizer of the project, I had met him in Estonia two years ago). They took us by cars to Benestare, our final destination. We had a breakfast in local cafe and then went to our sleeping place. The place was colder than we expected but whatever... I had problems with opening my luggage because the lock had been broken. So the guys beated the lock with a rock and it broke and I had a chance to have a shower and change clothes. After everybody had refreshed themselves we went to explore the town. It was a small town in the mountains. You could see the sea also from this town. Orange trees were growing everywhere, there were lots of Fiat's and the streets were really small. Cute little town. We discovered a shop named Maria... The view from almost everywhere in the city was marvellous- mountains everywhere and some sea, too. Unfortunately the weather was cold... Then we had lunch which had two rounds. Oh, pasta :) We met Alessandro (I had met him before in Estonia) and Bruno and some more people. Bruno promised to take us to another city nearby (Siderno) where he was working. So at 4 p.m we drove by his car to this city. We went to the seaside and had a look around in the city. As it was cold we decided to have a cup of tea in a restaurant named Helios. And then started a complete pourdown. So we couldn't go anywhere anymore. We texted Bruno that we're stuck in this place. So when his job finished, he came to the place where we were, drank also a fast Espresso and then we went back to Benestare. The roads in the mountains were curvy so Meelika didn't feel very good and was ill some days afterwards. Unfortunately. In the evening we had dinner (more pasta) and after that we drank some wine and just chatted. At night the Czech group arrived. And then we went to sleep...