Chasing the dreams

Welcome home!

2012-02-06T21:46:00.001+02:00

Quote

2012-02-06T15:23:00.000+02:00

I just read from my friends' blog a sentence I had told them during my welcome party.

"We're all sisters and brothers when it comes to alcohol..."

I don't remember saying that, but hell, it's so true!

Home, I'm home again

2012-02-02T18:12:00.000+02:00

So, on Tuesday I flied back home.
My last week in the UK was busy- packing, seeing all my friends, leisure centre. I got an Ipod Nano from work as a pressie for my leaving. I filled in lots of evaluation forms. Had some parties etc
Leaving was hard- on my last day at work I wanted to run to an empty corner and cry there in lots of cases.
It seemed unreal at the same time, that I was going to fly away in the following morning.
I had no sleep, drank lots of wine and then Keith took me to the airport at 4am.
My luggage was pressed tightly together, and there was no extra weight. Impressive :) My flight to Amsterdam was late which resulted in me running to another gate to catch my next plane. Unfortunately my luggage didn't make it that fast and me and about 10 other people didn't get their luggage in Tallinn airport. But, today I got it.
So far Ive managed to find out that fixing my computer is gonna cost me only 70 euros, instead of 250 pounds the man in England told. I've been to the hairdresser, made my contract which is 0,5 placement as a co-inhabitant in the village, saw my friends etc. Still lots to do.
It's freezing in Estonia- I'm probably spoiled by the mild British winter which was average +10. So coming to the -30 degrees is a bit freezing. At least its snowy here :) Me loves that.
And it feels as if I've never been away- everything seems to be the same. Not much has changed...Only the number of the year.
Or well, at least it seems so.
I know that I've changed. I'm not this naive childish co-dependent girl any more. I know a lot more about life and know what I want. I know what's right and what's wrong and I'm not afraid to say anything to anyone anymore.
And it feels good- to know all those things, to have seen lots of things that no one has seen besides me. To have that experience of 1 year abroad. It's lovely.

As I don't post updates to facebook...

2012-01-22T18:52:00.000+02:00

Maria Reiljan is looking around in the room, into all the drawers and cupboards and scratching her head- how on earth is she supposed to fit all her stuff into her tiny bag next weekend?
Some good music:

Technical problems

2012-01-22T01:58:00.001+02:00

My computer started smoking. It might be the end of it this time. At least that's what the person in the UK repair shop told. But hell no, I'm not giving up! I'll let my friends check it at home.
Right now I have the replacement computer from work that I can use until I go home. At least I have the access to the internet.
Life has been busy, have discovered many interesting artists.
Exitement of going home is starting to take over my feelings. And today I felt a sudden sadness. Dunno why.
Today was Timi's birthday. Had some cake. Also did my last trip to Bristol.

Now it's just 9 days left.
And then that's it.

One journey is over. Many are ahead.

This place is tiny!

2012-01-13T02:15:00.002+02:00

I went to donate blood today- when I got to the place, I saw one person, I do yoga with. I started talking to him. Then I went to give the blood- first of all- the people were so friendly again. I started asking about their day and they told that it's been long. And will continue for a while. Then they noticed my earrings and loved them, the same with my bracelet, belt, coat and handbag. My blood came out of my body fast- breaking the record with 3:51. So far the fastest for me. And then it didn't wanna stop. I could have given the double amount. No worries.
At the cookie-desk I started talking to a woman next to me. I found out she's the daughter of my co-worker. And she offered me a lift home in her mini-cooper. So lovely!
This area is becoming tiny for me already. Everywhere I go, I know someone who knows someone I know. Like Estonia already.
I don't wanna go home. People are so friendly. I love the local pubs. The leisure centre. I now know loads of people. And I like it. And I'm gonna miss the fact I can talk to all the random strangers everywhere and they are friendly and talk to you and offer you help. Why can't it be like this in Estonia?

So it starts again...

2012-01-11T01:03:00.001+02:00

I've got about 3 weeks left here now and guess what? I'm not happy again.
Or well, I don't know what I am and what I am not.
I know that there are people every day that keep asking me about my feelings, keep asking me how much I have left here.
This weekend I had G over here- I made some new friends whilst out in the pub with him. Why now? Why did I discover this amazing pub about 1km from me now? Why? Why? Why? F**k!
I said bye to G yesterday- who knows when I'm gonna see him again. Gonna miss him. It always hard when your best friends are far away and you can't talk to them much. And well, I might see him in the summer, but maybe not. I guess the time will tell...
My friends who started off in the leisure centre with just the spinning, are increasing the amount of classes, they are doing. They just added a magnificient class to their long list. A hard class called kettlercise. I'd love to try that. But I should not. I have to decrease the amount of stuff I do. It hurts- I want to go and do more! I know I wont be able to do half as many classes when I go home because of the lack of time and money as well. It all hurts! And it hurts to think I won't see my friends every day again. And my roommate, who is just amazing!
I now walk around everywhere, keep seeing people for the last time (probably for the last time ever). I look at everything and think that I couldn't stay here for another 7 months, but a month or two more wouldn't hurt me. I know I wouldn't probably think of that when I had those 2 extra months, but still.
Life is closing up here.
And starting to open up at home again.
Lots of plans, people to see, work to do. I have a perfect life waiting for me at home. I haven't been there for 7 months when I return. There are new people born who I can meet.... There is a lot to go back to.
And I'm happy and I'm not happy to go back.
Because I can always return home, but it's not that easy to come and live here again. And also.... the world is full of different countries to discover. I don't think I'll be returning to UK in the next couple of years at least...
The heart is heavy as a stone.

Who can remember when I last left Estonia, crying and telling that 7 months and I'll be home... Telling that I don't wanna come back to England. Well, those 7 months were too damn short.

Another beginning. Another dream to follow.

Maybe Denmark/Africa next?

New Year's Eve

2012-01-06T02:01:00.000+02:00

As you all know from my previous post- I had to re-organize my accommodation for the new year's eve in London. So I contacted my friend Aslihan, who I was only supposed to meet for a little while, to ask if I could stay with her and her friends. And the answer was positive.
So, on Saturday morning I went by bus to Weston and took a train to London Paddington station. I quickly topped up my oyster card and got into the tube and went to Piccadilli Circus where I met my friends. Oh, it was nice to see Asli after such a long time. 2 years, I think.
She introduced me to her Turkish friends and we went to a Turkish coffee bar in Piccadilly. Had a coffee there and then headed to the apartement where we were supposed to stay. I left my bag there and just grabbed my camera with me and then we headed towards Westminster bridge. We couldn't get to the riverside by bus because the roads were all closed so we had to walk there. Some of the areas on the riverside were closed so it took us a while to go round, past the Eye and to actually get to the bridge. We were there at about half past 8 and the bridge was already crowded. So we just stood there and took pictures.When it got cold, we started dancing. It attracted some Indian old men who came to us and didn't wanna leave. So okay, we danced a bit with them but they wouldn't go away. One man just started touching us and it was really uncomfortable and I told him to leave, but he was back 5mins later, offering us some drink which we obviously didn't accept. When we finally got rid of him, we danced around in the big wind and rain and it was great. At one point some random lad came and asked Asli for a dance but she didn't want to, so the man took me to a dance, just danced around widely and then he bowed towards me, said thanks and left. It all happened in 1 minute.

During the long waiting we called to our friends in Estonia and G to wish them a happy new year together. The Eye changed it's colours in the darkness. And we started to get more exited. We sang along to all the songs that came from the radio and then. at 23:59, the countdown to midnight started. And then- the fireworks- oh they were magnificient. Totally worth waiting 4 hrs. They lasted 10 minutes and everything was connected to the rhythm of the music that came from the speakers! Amazing. Just brilliant!
As the fireworks started to end, I noticed the annoying Indian guy staring at me. He had somehow appeared again next to us. Gosh... I was angry at him. (by the way- he was about shoulder-height to me). And after the booming ended me and my friends danced a bit and he still wanted to join us, ignoring all the signs of rejection. Finally, his friends had to drag him away.
We still had fun. As we were walking home, some people tried to kiss us, others just hugged us. Everybody were dancing and singing and it was just so much fun. And we were all sober. :) Probably lots of people thought we were drunk by looking at our behaviour. Never mind.

On the following day, Asli sent one of her friends to Victoria coach station from where she took a bus to the airport and then we went to Notting Hill alltogether and tried to find the famous bookstore. We knew it had to exist but then discovered that actually it didn't- so there was nothing in notting hill. But, we had a nice time, wandering around in the rainy London. In the evening we headed to one of Asli's Turkish friends and had a kebab and cheesecake and some Turkish tea and Coffee over there. It was lovely- I once again fell completely in love with the Turkish people. I love them anyway, but now it reminded me again, how lovely they are. We had an amazing evening and then headed back home where we went to sleep and then in the morning I came home again.

I could say that my new year's eve was just brilliant and I'm sure this year will be as brilliant as the beginning of it. :)
I gave no promises for this year, just to have fun and enjoy life :)
I know that this is a promise I can actually keep!

Happy new year, my dear friends!

Christmas

2012-01-05T00:51:00.001+02:00

As I promised, I will now make a post about my Christmas, which were pretty amazing.
So, after I got home from Peter Pan, I had my two friends over at my place. Or actually- I just knew one of them- a Hungarian girl called Timi. She is working with a Turkish boy called Umut and they both came to visit me for christmas.
So as I got home, I ate some food, we talked and just had a nice time. We made the plan for the following day to go to Bristol.
The next morning we got up pretty early to catch a bus to Bristol through Wells but we missed it so instead we went there through Weston. We had a lot of fun, telling jokes to each other and laughing all day. I made a tour around in Bristol and we ate in Subway and had a coffee in Starbucks. We saw most of the things we wanted to see, and my friends liked it. After Bristol we went to Wells to look at the cathedral over there and do some shopping for food before returning home. At home we were welcomed by my-Timi and her mom who had cooked us some christmas meal and we all sat to a table and had a 3-course meal. It was so nice! We drank some drinks and chatted and it was just so cool. Lots of fun! And then we all opened our presents as well. I got some cookbooks from work, a bracelet, a vase from one of the residents, a necklace. And lots of chocolates. We drank lots of rum and the evening was nice. It was a bit of flirting going on between me and Umut and we got along really nicely :) Well, I've been told that I flirt with everybody, maybe I just did it subconcsiously. Never mind. It was a lovely evening, full of jokes based on LMFAO "I'm sexy and I know it" and Turkish delight. It was just brilliant!
The following day I cooked some Estonian food and we just hanged around in the house, not doing much. Just cooking, listening to music, sleeping, talking etc. But on Monday we went for a walk to the Strawberry line from where we went on top of some hills. It was nice. We talked to Umut a lot during the walk.... Unfortunately I can't write a lot about this christmas into this blog, as it's a public one, but I can say that christmas was crazy :) And lovely :) In the evening we just drank some wine and talked and sang. There was already some jealousy going on between some people and things weren't going the best way they could, but I was actually enjoying my time. In the evening my mum and sister arrived to the house and we drank some Estonian liqueur and then after a short while, my family went to sleep and so did I.

Tuesday was supposed to be the day when we all went to Cheddar Gorge. Unfortunately visitor-Timi was angry with me and I didn't know the reason, and she didn't come with us. So it was just me, my mum and sis and Umut. We walked about 4 hrs around in the gorge and on top of it! The weather was nice, you could see even until Weston. Everybody loved the trip and by the time we got back we were all just knackered. We had a wash and then ate some Estonian food that my mum had brought over or cooked here and also poured luck in the Estonian way with the Stannum. We translated our luck in the candlelight and my piece of metal said something about a ship- I guess I'm gonna have a year full of travelling. Sure as hell! In the evening most of the people went to sleep pretty early as we all were tired but I stayed up pretty late. Catching up with some lives.
The following morning Umut and Timi went away and Timi (my roommate)'s mum went to Hungary as well. Umut had lost his wallet so we had a bit of a panic for the previous days but as we went to Weston on that morning, he got his wallet back from the lost property of the coach company. Me and my family had a nice walk along the seafront in Weston- we watched the stormy sea and the tide coming in. They loved it! After that we went to Bristol to do some sightseeing and shopping. I felt like a bodyguard of the stars- you know, they have to walk around with celebs while they are doing the shopping and they have to carry the bags of their employers. I was the one carrying the bags this time. In the evening, when we got home, I was just exhausted. Ate some food, and then got to sleep pretty early again for another crazy busy day that was ahead of us.
On Thursday we went to Wells to have a look at the cathedral and the Bishop's palace, to look at the oldest clock in the cathedral (which is about 700 years old, the second oldest in the world with all it's original details remaining). Our journey continued to Bath where I took my family to the Roman Therms and and Sally Lunn's house (the oldest in Bath) where we had our lunch and the best hot chocolate I've ever had in my entire life. It was quite crap weather but we still went around in the city and had a look at the Pulteney Bridge, The Circus and the Crescent. We wandered around in the city and did some shopping and then headed back to Wells by bus where we did some more shopping and then catched a bus home. By the end of that evening I was completely dead already. But still, we went to a local pub called the Lamb Inn, where I had a nice talkto locals (I was surprised myself on how fast I spoke to them). I also realized that this pub is such a nice cosy place and they even allowed locals to bring their dogs inside the pub. Cute, tiny homepub :)
In the evening when we got home, we just ate and washed ourselved, packed all the stuff and got ready for the next day. I also got a message from Timi and Umut who told me they can't host me in Gravesend for the new year's eve and the following day, so I had to organize another place to stay. I managed it easily and a nice couple of days was guaranteed. Still, I'm even now angry at U&T because they behaved so rude- I mean- I hosted them for nearly 5 days and then they basically stab me from the back. Bugger! I gave my best for them to have a great time, and then they behave like this. Just unbelievable! Never mind, I'm never gonna see those people again, so I don't have to talk to them any more. Fuck them. Some people less to care about. Makes my life easier. I don't need them. I've got plenty of friends who are a lot more lovely than them. Umut apologized a lot afterwards, so I'm not that angry with him anymore, but I haven't even spoken to Timea, so fuck her. She didn't even wish me a happy new year or ask how did it go. Never mind. Christmas was lovely and I'll stick to it!

On Friday I showed my mum and sis around at my work, they met with all the residents, my co-workers and saw the place I used to live before I moved to the Lodge. We talked to our managers, gave Estonian sweets to them and then went back to my home to get ready to go to the airport. My co-worker helped me to take my family to the airport and send them away. As I returned home the house was so empty- it was weird. I cleaned and slept a little bit and got ready for the new year's eve and my trip to London, about which I'm gonna tell you more in the next post....

Beautiful people

2012-01-04T23:55:00.001+02:00

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.” ― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Before Christmas eve and day

2012-01-04T02:15:00.000+02:00

I haven't been able to blog for a while. And I don't actually have much time to do it even now, but I'll give my best to make an update of my life so far.
My time before xmas was crazy busy- I did so much stuff that I can't even keep track on everything, but I'll give it a try.
My Christmas started on the first of December, when we put up all the decorations at our work. I got to decorate about 4 trees. On the same evening I went to see the christmas stall in Cheddar- it was nothing special, just people selling stuff on the streets and festive songs coming from the speakers. A bit like a market.I got myself a santa hat which I wore every day at work for 3 weeks. I kept myself busy with making cards and christmas presents and gingerbread for everybody.
On the 8th of December, me and my friends from the leisure centre went out for a christmas dinner. We went with all the people who do the spinning- it was nice to go and have a talk outside the leisure centre with all our instructors and just have a beer and eat some curry. And my friends- they are so lovely! I'm gonna miss them when I go home...
Also, on the same week I went to see the Bootleg Beatles in Colston Hall in Bristol with the residents. It was nice to see the band again, I discovered that the person who used to represent John Lennon, had changed. But the music was good and completely enjoyable.
On the last weekend before christmas I went to Cardiff to see G again. Hadn't seen him for more than 2 months. And we live 30 miles from each other. So I had some time in Cardiff until he finished working. I decided to walk to the Roald Dahl Plass and have a look at the Torchwood's Ianto Jones's memorial wall, look at the Millennium Centre, search for Torchwood signs. It was a lovely sunny day and I enjoyed a nice walk. I now know 3 different ways to get to the Plass from the train station. Nice... As soon as G finished work we met at a pub next to the station and had some drinks. We then got on the bus to go to Edmondstown where he lives at the moment and which is about 20 miles from Cardiff. We stayed up pretty late, talking about our trips we had made (he went to Poland and CR, I had been to Scotland). It was a nice quiet evening. The following day I saw a little bit of the cliff that is located right behind the houses on his street. Pretty stunning, I have to say. I had to catch a pretty early bus on that day back to Cardiff, as it was Sunday and the buses in my place suck and the last one goes very early to my home. So I didn't have much time in Cardiff. But it was a nice weekend away from home.
Oh, I also have to mention- before I went to Cardiff, I played christmas songs on guitar to all the residents and sang them in Estonian and English. I also gave all the cards for the residents and the gingerbread. The whole house was full of those cookies, but surprisingly- they were all eaten by the residents and the staff and some of them were even taken home by my co-workers. Nice :)
On the last week before christmas I kept myself busy with cleaning the house, making some meatballs (kotletid in Estonian), preparing for christmas. Also- I went to the leisure centre. We had christmas party at work (which was pretty boring as there was no entertainment besides some disco, it was nice food though), one evening we also sang some christmas songs with the reisdents.
Then, on the 23rd of Dec I went to see the pantomime "Peter Pan" in Bristol Hippodrome. The main actor in it was David Hasselhoff. I thought it's gonna be a silent play as pantomime in Estonia means this- but I was told it was supposed to be mainly focused on the children, very loud, all the children making "Yes! No! Awwwww! Yeah!" and so on noises to whatever was going on on the stage.. And lots of jokes the children don't understand and hints to Knight Rider, Baywatch and Britain's Got Talent, as Hoff was playing captain Hook and was the main character. I could say that I was laughing hard during that show. Everything I was told, was true. There were many hints to Knight Rider. Hoff was singing (he's got an amazing voice), dancing. There was a comedian telling jokes as well (the best joke was about Poundstretcher and Marks&Spencer's shop being united- you get Stretchmarks out of it). I had great fun. Got some videos about it as well. Brilliant!
And seeing the Peter Pan was the last thing at work that I did before all the crazy (and I can guarantee for sure it was crazy) christmas started.
Because as I got home, I had some visitors over at my place (Timi had her mom coming as well, but she came already two days earlier)..
But all the Christmas and my mum and sister being at my place will be told in the next post......

Mr Nobody in reality

2011-12-20T01:44:00.001+02:00

I just realized the moment which was a big big crossroad in my life and where one decision in my life affected it in more ways than I could imagine.
It was some years ago, when I applied for EVS for the first time. I wanted to go to work with children in Italy in a place called Bari. I nearly got there but on the last minute I was told another girl was chosen for the project.
I would have gone to Italy in July 2009, the month where I had my first camp with people with learning disabilities. The camp, which had such an influence on me that I decided to volunteer in some other places and had the first idea of going to Maarja küla. If I had been in Italy at that time, I wouldn't have had that camp, I wouldn't had gone to the village, I wouldn't had met G, who changed my view on life in many ways, opened my eyes about lots of things and became my best friend. I would have never met Judith who has become a great friend of mine, all the other people in the village, would probably never have become such good friends with one of my classmates (Teele, yes, I'm talking about you), Kirke wouldn't have been my apartement mate and wouldn't have gotten to know my friends the way I knew them (probably), wouldn't have met people in Italian youth exchange and changed their lives. Two of my brilliant friends wouldn't have been introduced more closely to each other (because I was the one who introduced them) and they wouldn't probably have become a couple that they have been for about 2 years already (yes, Kerttu and Karl, I'm talking about you now).I would have never had the chance to apply for the EVS again and come to England. I would have probably never met so many so amazing people who, mostly, have turned me into who I am right now.
I would be a completely different person, maybe working with children or organizing youth projects or whatever... I know I would be a completely different person.
I started to imagine myself as this other person and I'm happy I didn't get the positive answer from Italy. Imagining my life as it is described in the movie "Mr Nobody". Different timelines. Wow, this feeling right now is powerful. This tiny decision didn't change only my life..... A bit like a butterfly effect in some ways as well.
Things happen, when they are supposed to happen. I now believe in it. When there's something happening in your life (even if it's a tiny event or decision and it doesn't seem to be fair at the time), it is always good for something. You might understand it after a while (as time goes by), like I just did.
Now I understand why they say that there is something good in something bad.

Such a tiny decision, not controlled by me - and look where I am right now! Or where I could be if I had gone to Italy......
Successful, I'm sure, in both lives, but I think I'd rather have this one. Or, it's not the right way to say it.... I can't say it because if I had gone to Italy I wouldn't have known the other way- the life I have now. The life I absolutely love, with the deepest passion a person can have!
It's such a deep emotion that scares the hell out of me.....

That's Mr Nobody in reality. In my life.

PS: I know there are many very important decisions in my life I've made, that have changed everything completely.Going to my high school could be counted as the most important decision as well. But, this was not a concrete moment in time, it was just a thought in the beginning and then developed and it was a decision I made in 3 years when I was 12-15 years old. But.... The Italian moment is more spectacular, because it's a tiny decision, not even under my own control, that changed so much. That milestone in my life was just so tiny step at that time but a big step for the whole life (Like "a small step for a human, but a big one for the humankind". - Louis Armstrong). I can't explain in words properly, how the fail of the first EVS attempt was the biggest change in my life, but I definetely know now, it was.

PS2: Another mystery solved- I have thought for a long time what could be the most important moment in my life and now it just appeared to me. Out of nowhere. Like the idea for my eye-tattoo (a simple drawing on my body which has a very important meaning to me as well).

And I believe in such visions, as one could call them. They are powerful. And they have to be right when they just appear to me the ways they do.

Am I just begin paranoid?

2011-12-14T00:32:00.000+02:00

After Putin's party won in Russia with obvious cheating (I mean 140% as the result of all the parties altogether in the elections), I've become a bit suspicious about everything. After Putin won, he told that USA has provoked the riots in Moscow and put all the blame on USA. Sounds like picking a fight? Oh alright.... Well, besides that, there were some news about Russia building some rocket thing near Kaliningrad a while ago. Some months ago. It was supposed to be a response for americans building a rocket shield somewhere near Belarus. But well.... Yeah. Don't want to comment on it. And also, Putin's government threatened to give up the contract they made to finish the cold war. The contract which limited the countries on producing senseless amounts of nuclear weapons. Hmmmm.....
Then there have been news about the Russians becoming better armed in military and improving their weapons. There have been years of trainings for young soldiers in Russia (hardcore trainings). Also, russian government has created militray bases near the border of Estonia. They have broken the airborder lots of times. The bronze soldier incident in Estonia a while ago.
It seems like the attacking of Georgia was some kind of a test to see how the world will react. And the test results seemed to be pretty good for the Russian government. So now they are moving on....
Trying new limits.....
Am I the only one who's actually feeling that this is not right. That there are lots of signs similar to what happened before WWII. (getting closer to Germany- the gas cable (yeah, Germany, I think, will be safe and not dangerous after the losses they had), spies in London who tried to get infromation from British parliament members, breaking the border with the planes, riots in Estonia (like october 1924), cyber attacks, georgia, the provocations, etc.....). There are lots of things to bring parallels with.
And to be honest, I'm scared.
I don't want to say this, but to me it seems, that the Russians are preparing for another war.
And it hurts to think about that. With all the technology people have now.
And well, EU seems to be like the second version of the Union of the worlds, which, as we know, tried to say to Germany, Italy, China and Russia that war is bad, the countries ignored the organization, stepped out of the organzation and there came the WWII. And the organization came to an end.
Lots of things...
People, open your eyes. Think about what I said.
Ain't it right?

2011-12-12T01:30:00.001+02:00

If one thing becomes right, then the other goes wrong....

2011-12-10T23:19:00.001+02:00

I've got a nice life here and I've got friends. And until now I also had a nice work. I still have it in most ways, but I feel that even though I have the freedom to express my opinion, no one listens because I am simply a volunteer and shouldn't have a say in important things. Also, I have realized that whatever faces people make at your work (co-workers), if they aren't happy by something you say or do, they don't tell it to you, but to the manager who then goes and talks to you. And even if they have told me some rules I haven't heard of before and I understand them when they are told to me, they still tell to the managers as well, who then come and have a strickt talk to me. Why do people have to talk behind my back? When something bothers me, then I say it to the person and won't involve other people into it. But no.... this is the way things work in the UK.
And is asking 4 questions really a criss-crossing? One of our workers was off for some weeks and I asked her what was wrong with her and if she's better now and how often can she work. She didn't want to talk about it much, so I abandoned the topic. And then she went and told the managers about me criss-crossing her. She could have said straight to my face to stop asking questions. No..... Instead, she went to the manager who then came and talked to me the following day (not the same day before I went home) when I got to work that I shouldn't ask people questions. Sweet. Nice start of the day. They really don't think that things like this affect the work, do they? I'd rather have conversations like this before I go home, so it wouldn't affect my work. And.... how am I supposed to make friends, if I am not allowed to ask questions from people or try to be compassionate.
Never mind. I've decided to just talk to most of the people about work, nothing else. Nothing about my personal life. And to follow the rules.
Sometimes I also don't know what I should do. Some workers suggest me one thing and the other tells different and then when I try to find the best way by telling to one person the suggestions I got from the other I am being told off. And if I want to explain why I was suggested this option or why it could be good, I won't be able to do it, because the person I'm talking to just says they are not interested in what other people have to say about things and suggest and that they don't care.
So what should I do? Follow the rules, not ask questions, try not to channge people's attitudes (some people have not got the proper attitude towards work or when they do something wrong and I try to help them I'm being told off because I'm simply a volunteer who knows nothing - even if I have worked in the place longer than the person I'm trying to help and know some things actually more).
So a volunteer's life- no opinion, try to make friends but don't look like you are bothered and ask questions.
Hippocrytes- they tell me I do a brilliant job and then they talk behind my back, can't say things to my face, don't let me explain why I do things the way I do and don't take my opinion into account. Oh what's more- once when one of our residents died in the hospital I found out about it during a conversation with one of my co-workers. So yes- don't tell the volunteer the information she has to know about the residents she has to work with. Because she is just a VOLUNTEER.
I like the residents I work with and some of my co-workers are nice. But this is not the place I want to work permanently. The attitudes of people are wrong for me.
But I'lll also be a hippocryte and behave the way people behave towards me. What do I have to lose? Nothing- got only 1,5 months left to work here now.
And I will make my best for the residents have a nice time 'til I'm still here.
But yeah, fuck some of my co-workers (not all of them, just those ones who talk behind my back and can't say things straight to my face).

It already feels like it's time to move on. When smaller things start to annoy me more and more and I can't do anything to change them, then it's time for me to back off. Move on to other places. Try to make a difference to someone else's lives, where I'm actually allowed to do it. In a place where the volunteers actually feel like they are part of the staff, not just some people hanging around in the place as if they've got nothing better to do. Why waste my life on things like those when there are places I could actually do something and change things?

Speed of time

2011-12-04T00:29:00.001+02:00

I've noticed that recently all my co-workers have started to use more british humour with me and are trying to test how much I would understand. So far I've been doing quite well. I understand most of it. So they are testing me harder and harder. It's fun. We get to laugh a lot during our breaks. And the jokes are nasty and dirty. I love it! I had missed the irony and sarcasm a lot and now the brit humour has replaced it here.
I'm enjoying my time here.

And time is flying!
Can someone, please, slow down the time? I mean, if I could I would actually quite like to get stuck into this moment and not get out of it.
The beginning was hard- the first 3-4 months are the hardest and then you get used to the different life. And you start enjoying it properly. And then time flies and the nice time ends.
It will be replaced by some other great time, but this one I'm having here, I'll never get back again. Which is really sad.

Right now I'd like to jump off the train of time. Or pull the emergency stop button. It would be quite nice if we had those in our lives. To be the masters of our own time. To master the speed of it.

Because sometimes we all would like to speed the time up or slow it down, or even stop.
But we can't.
It's a shame.

I don't want to live on this planet any more.

2011-12-03T00:09:00.001+02:00

British humour?

Just another thought

2011-11-27T17:51:00.001+02:00

While I was busy counting months 'til I can return home, the time was flying past faster than the speed of light. And within a moment I realized it's nearly over - which made me count the days I've still got left to enjoy my life here.

In the meanwhile, while in Scotland....

Realization of a life

2011-11-21T23:49:00.001+02:00

Today, when I went to the leisure centre, I got a lift with a friend of mine to there. When I stepped into the leisure centre, 3 of my aqua-fit and other classes friends came out. I just greeted them and then one of them dragged me with great enthusiasm to see one advertisement about a christmas evening and asked if I would join in, looking very happy and exited about it. I first thought, that I might not go, because it's pretty expensive but then I looked at my budget and I can manage to go. So I just texted the friend to let her know I'm joining them.
In the leisure centre, everybody always greet me and know my face. I know people in the area. I've got friends here to go out with.
I just realized I have a life here now. It's not the same as some months ago. I've got really good friends here. I have got a leisure centre where I go with my friends. It's my leisure centre. I've got a local home pub to go to. I've got home. When the project ends, I could find a job here. I could actually live here. And that feels frightening. Having those feelings, when I miss Estonia as crazy, plan my trip home, have everybody waiting for me. It's just weird.
I'm scared of having a life here.
So far I managed to avoid (yeah, exactly- avoid) having good friends here so that it'd be easier to return home. But without noticing I've managed to get myself a real life here. It doesn't seem like some kind of a EVS-bubble anymore. It seems real.
And that frightens the hell out of me right now.

Guess I realized today, where I actually am and what I'm doing. Guess I woke up.

Scotland

2011-11-19T23:25:00.001+02:00

Firstly, I'd like to apologize to all the people who have been waiting for this post the whole week (I know there are some) - I had to play the guitar for the residents at work this week so I had to practice this week. But now I'm gonna tell everybody a bit about my trip to Scotland.

My trip started off on Wednesday morning and I flew from Bristol to Inverness. My mp3 player didn't play after I had gone through the security- I guess the x-rays had some effect on it. But yeah, I flew to Scotland in silence.
When we got below the clouds I started to look out the window to see if I can recognize Loch Ness from the above as it is located very close to Inverness. And, surprise, surprise. We flew over it. It seemed big from the plane.
But when I got to the airport, I managed to get the bus to Inverness in 5mins so I was at the city central pretty early. I decided to get my ticket for the Loch Ness tour and then went and got some postcards and wondered around in the town. It was a small town- everything was in the easy-walking distance. The sun was shining, it was a warm day. I went to the rives Ness that flows through the town, saw the Inverness castle. Just wandered around. Then I went to the bus station to start my tour to Loch Ness. There were about 10 people altogether going on the tour and then off we went. The guide wasn't as funny as the one I had in Ireland but I found out some interesting things. Jimmy Page used to have a house next to Loch Ness for 10 years.
Then we got to Loch Ness and got on the boat which took us to the Urquhart castle. It was a lovely drive- the mountains surrounding the big lake, some wind, sun starting to set soon. I could sense a little bit of magic in the air as this was still supposed to be the home of Nessie. Unfortunately I didn't see any monsters in the water. There were some statues out of the water but nothing in the water. Loch Ness is the biggest water reservoir in the UK and it gives more water to people than all other reservoirs put together. Loch Ness is by the way more than 200m deep.
During the boat trip I started to talk to one Indian guy who was visiting his sister in England and was on a short trip to Scotland. We talked the whole afternoon and in the evening as well. The guy was 24 yrs old and didn't look like a typical Indian. He reminded me more of Spanish or Greek men. He looked cute. And he spoke really good English and we had lots of things to talk about. It's a bit sad, he's living in India.... Anyway, by the time we got to the castle ruins, the sun had already started to go behind the mountain tops. It was a lovely sunset, we walked around in the remains of the castle and spoke and took pictures. I really loved that day because I was in a lovely nature and got to travel. The nature in Scotland is a bit similar to the one in Estonia- I really miss the fur trees which we don't have in the Southern England but Scotland had it all. The autumn looked like the Estonian autumn- t was lovely. And I was on the same latitude as Estonia.
In the evening me and this Indian guy went to a pub and he wanted to buy me a drink. Such a gentlemen. So we talked and talked and it was a lovely evening. Then he had to catch the train to Glasgow and I sent him to the station. After that I returned to the pub where I had another pint and wrote all the postcards and posted them before I took my train to Aberdeen.
Oh, one thing I found out about India that I find really interesting and odd- they have all the people divided into different classes based on people's middle names that come from the ancient times. So they have the upper classes, middle class, lower class and "untouchable" people. The last ones are so bad classification that when you even talk to them you have to wash yourself in the sacred river. The people aren't allowed to marry anyone in the lower class then themselves. The girls who marry to a person in the lower or upper class, will automatically become the members of the class they are marrying into. But the classes are just names- the highest class can be cleaners and the lowest class members can be doctors. So it has nothing to do with the occupation. I've never heard of anything like that.

But yeah, Aberdeen.I got there pretty late, but Sirle came to the train station. It was nice to see an Estonian after such a long time. And speak to someone in Estonian face to face. We went straight to Sirle's apartement and talked there for a little bit and then went to sleep. Sirle had a test at school in the morning so I got to sleep late. It was nice. When she got back from the school we had some breakfast and then went to the city. Aberdeen is really grey. It's all made out of granite and it has no colour in it whatsoever. But the buildings looked nice- like most of the architecture in the UK. The schoolhouse was lovely- it was a really old house. Typical british building. Then we also went to the library which had been opened some months ago. It was a building made out of glass and really modern. I liked it. Will put some picturs here as well.
We walked around in the city, went to botanic garden, walked by the river, saw the biggest building in Europe that's made out of granite, saw the statue that prince Charles had opened in October. It was a bit damp and rainy weather so we decided to go and grab a meal from Subway and then headed back to Sirle's apartement. By that time her roommate Kirsti, had also gotten back home. I didn't see her in the morning- I was asleep when she went to school. Kirsti, by the way, went to NRG also. We all talked for a while about lots of things, were a bit nostalgic over NRG and then saw also another former NRG student who graduated in the spring. Didn't know her before. There are by the way, 4 people from NRG in Aberdeen right now.
In the evening we went out and tried a cider called Brothers, which had different flavours- toffee, strawberry and lemon. It's the first cider so far in the UK that I have actually liked. After some while we went back to the apartement and to sleep as I had to catch a train early to go Dundee.

In Dundee, Teele was already waiting for me in the train station. We went straight to her place with a taxi because she had a lecture in the school she had to attend and then I just watched a movie at her place and stayed in the internet. When she got back I made pancakes while she finished one of her studies. Then we got a bit into a state and tried to watch Grey's Anatomy. It was interesting- I didn't manage to follow it all the time but never mind. I'm always slow on thinking. After the movie we went to a pub and tried to watch Estonian football game with Ireland but it wasn't in TV at the pub we went to, so checked the core through phone. Teele's friend also joined us and we walked around in the city and Teele showed us her dreamboat- the "Unicorn" and the city at night. Then we eventually ended up in a pub with live music. One more of Teele's friends joined us and it was a fun night. After the pub we all went back to her apartement and continued the party over there with T's roommates.
The following day we went up to the highest hill (to me it was a mountain) in the middle of Dundee. It was a clear day with sunshine and it was lovely up there. I had a half-an-hour hangover which, I deeply suspect, actually came from the Mcdonalds' food I ate in the morning (yeah, I know now for sure- it's not the thing for me and I don't like it). But it was a lovely day out and it was a brilliant view from the top of that hill. Dundee is twice the size of Tartu and has 150 000 inhabitants, so it's a pretty small city. But I quite liked it. The whole day the friend of T was hanging around with us and we all went to a university-leisure house where we had a pint. After that we went to T's place to get ready to go out. T works in a club where she takes photographs of the drunken people and then puts them into keyrings and sells them. So she got me and her two friends a free pass to the club and we went there, got couple of shots. A friend of T (I'm not gonna tell the names here, he's the one who was with us the whole two days), told he'll never get drunk and he will never go on the dancefloor. Well, I managed to get him into the state where he was dancing the whole night and was drunk as well. But I didn't get drunk although I had couple of really good and strong shots. Nevermind. After the club finished, T had to stay in the club for some more time and me and T's friend went to his place to wait for T. From there we headed to T's place where we just spoke and "stared" at the ceiling (or I watched T's friend staring at the ceiling and just laughing and acting odd....). When T's friend left at about 5am we went to sleep and in 3hrs time I got up, had a shower and then we went for a breakfast in the town and saw the Remembrance day parade a bit and then I catched a train to Edinburgh.

Edinburgh is lovely. The moment I stepped out of the rail station, my mouth fell wide open. Everywhere you looked- stunning buildings. Just amazing! I met Maarja and Karl and then we headed back to their place where we just put my bag. On the way to there we walked past a cafe where J.K. Rowling had written "Harry Potter". We grabbed a coffe from there. I can say- it was a lovely creamy cappucino that I had. After we had dropped off my bag, we went to see the city. It was nice, sunny day, and we went up the the Edinburgh castle, walked the Royal Mile, climbed up to the Arthur's Seat. Edinburgh is located on top of 7 hills. Lots of places with lovely views.We walked around a lot on that day and in the evening just stayed in and drank some wine because Maarja wasn't feeling that good. We talked a lot about my work, Maarja's work, Karl's band and their life in Scotland. It was a lovely evening.
The following day we went to see some more Edinburgh. Walked on the Princes Street and the Grassmarket. We also wanted to go to Colton hill but Maarja wasn't feeling that good and Karl had to go to some meeting, so I went up there by myself. It was a bit rainy, so I didn't stay there for long. I got back to the central and started to look for a place to eat haggis. I walked a lot on that day between the tourism information, Royal Mile, Princes street. The pubs were too expensive so I wanted to buy some haggis from the shop but one shop in the central had only veggie haggis. I got really annoyed by the end of the evening. I must have walked about 7-8 miles on that day. I felt like a local already.
When I got back to their apartement, me and Karl ate some haggis because Maarja was at work and she didn't like lamb (by the way- haggis is a bery disgusting sounding traditional Scottish dish, made out of the leftovers of the stuff in the sheep's stomach, but it tasted actually pretty good. You just shouldn't think what youre eating, otherwize you're not able to eat it). Yeah, haggis was a lot better than I expected it to be.
After eating we went out to a pub in the Grassmarket which had live music. The man who was playing, was really good. His fingers moved on the guitar neck with incredible speed. Karl was really admiring his playing. At one point, when the artist had a break, the guys in the pub started singing some song and most of the pub joined in. It was some song in Dutch, as I heard later from the bartender, but he didn't know why those guys sang the song. I've never seen anything like this in a pub, so it was very very cool :) We were just staring with Karl, really surprised. But it was an enjoyable evening. Maarja didn't join us so we went back to their apartement, soon. And then went to sleep. I had to go to the airport really early in the morning so I left in the darkness.
As I had slept really little, I slept throughout most of the flight and my friend, Pam, picked me up at the airport and took me home where I just slept and behave really lazy.

About Scotland overall- it was a great week and I really enjoyed it. It was warmer than I expected it to be, because everybody told me it's gonna be colder than in south. But it was actually the same or even warmer. Less rain, for sure. I had taken all my winter clothers with me, which I actually didn't need much. Heh.
I expected Scotland to be a bit more stunning but it didn't impress me as much as I had expected. It was beautiful, you can't deny that, but to me, Ireland is more amazing.
But. I love Scotland as well. I have a MacDonalds' clan tartan pattern scarf now, too.
Scotland's definetely a place to see, I recommmend it to everybody. I just wasn't that impressed, because it was in some ways like Estonia which I'm used to. But, Estonia has lovely nature, so defientely worth seeing.

The wonders of maths

2011-11-18T23:56:00.001+02:00

You want to buy a shirt that costs 97 pounds. You don't have the money so you borrow 50 pounds from your mum and 50 from your dad. 50+50=100
You buy the blouse and you have 3 pounds left. You give your mum 1 pound and your dad 1 pound and you have 1 pound left for yourself. You still owe your mum and dad both 49 pounds.
49+49+1 (pound that you have)=99
Where has one pound gone?

The reasons to love boot camp

2011-11-18T21:55:00.001+02:00

I absolutely hurt today after yesterdays' class. I sure as hell love it more than any of the other classes I'm doing altogether.
I did it so hard yesterday that at one point I was out of breath and felt I'm nearly gonna vomit. I didn't notice how I got that far. But I feel it all today. Every move I make is so painful. All the muscles in my body just kill me. But it's nice pain. It's lovely, because I know I've done something good and it's for the good purposes.
What I love about the boot camp is the fact that while doing it you don't notice how heavy the weights you're lifting and running around with, actually are. After, when you have to take all the equipment back to the storage room, you almost can't lift it off the ground. But when you're running (and I mean running) around with it, you don't simply notice.
Sweet. I wish we had something like this in Estonia as well. I'd definetely do it!

Climbing again

2011-11-07T02:14:00.000+02:00

Today there was a really nice and sunny autumn day outside (10 degrees), so I decided to go to the Gorge and use up parts of my Gorge&Caves Explorer ticket that I got from a friend of mine earlier this week.
So I went up to the Gorge, had a look into Coughs' Cave and climbed up from the Jacob's Ladder to walk a little bit on top of the cliffs. I discovered that you don't actually need a ticket to go on this walk- you just have to know the places to enter to the trail from (I'm local :) ). Anyway, I was up on top of the cliffs which had magnificient views, I went into the caves and enjoyed a nice day out. Fresh air and hiking is good.
So, some pictures I took as well (by the way, I love my camera - it takes pretty good pictures indoors when you know how to use it).

And I almost forgot to tell- my mum and sis are coming here on the 26th Dec-30th Dec :) Brilliant!

Bowling

2011-11-07T01:30:00.002+02:00

Besides complaining about how much I miss Estonia, going to Leisure centre, playing guitar, planning my Scotland trip (mostly dreaming about things I'm gonna do and talking to Teele about it), sleeping, eating, watching movies, I also go to work. Yes, I haven't talked much about it here- the reason for that is simple- usually it's not much unusual going on and I'm not allowed to talk about my work in public websites, anyway.
But now I've got a little bit to talk about. Naming no names and just talking.
Well. I had my supervision and told to my mentor about everything that bothers me. Nice.
Then I've realized that EVS which in fact doesn't allow me to take any responsibilities in my work, is not the best thing for me. I need power. I need to organize things, be in charge of sth. There were couple of days when there was just me in the activities and I was basically "in charge" of it. Well, all I had to do was to get all the residents to come there, make some coffees, make sure that everything goes well (put on videos or help with the activity that was happening at the specific time) and then take the residents down again. But- it felt like I'm in charge of something. Oh, and it felt so damn good. It motivated me the best. So yes- for me to give my best at work - just give me loads to do, put me in charge of sth and I will give my best and run around like crazy and enjoy my work the most.

But. What I actually wanted to talk about was one outing that I made last week. To be more specific- I went to play bowling with two residents. It was so cool- they enjoyed it completely, me and my co-worker as well. We were laughing all the time, we took lots of pictures. And it's amazing- the place had special ramps and equipment for people in wheelcairs- so they had a ramp to put the ball on and to push it to roll towards the pins. Brilliant! The result of this day out is that in 3 weeks time I will go again with at least one of those residents I went with. Because she enjoyed it so much! After that day (Wednesday) she went on and on about it- telling me that 3 weeks and then we go again, showing me pictures that she printed out, showing me videos. So lovely. One more fact that made the residents who I went with, happier - I basically lost. I became third but the resident who was fourth lost only with couple of points. But in the second game we used special ramps on the side of the bowling trail, which prevented the ball from going off to the side of the lane. And I managed to bump my ball there many times. So basically- I lost. And they were so happy about it. Telling me the whole day that I lost. Laughing at me. My co-worker hasn't let them forget it either. They are all just laughing at me now. Well, whatever makes them happier! It amuses me as well :)

Do a barrel roll

2011-11-06T12:25:00.003+02:00

"Proud" Estonian

2011-11-05T13:24:00.002+02:00

Yesterday evening there was a big accident near my home and I read about it in the Estonian newspapers. Then I read the comments- they were about English people driving on the lefhandside and just with a bad tone towards English. And then I added a comment that I live near the place and am worried about my friends because they use the motorway the accident happened on, quite often. And then came all the negative comments about me- that I dont care about Estonia and my nationality, am basically a traitor.
And I still want to believe that Estonia is the best country in the world? After receiving comments like this from the people from my own nationality- they just comment, not knowing the background. They don't know what I do here, how long I am here for, and why I am here. They just comment. Stupid.
We're supposed to be a nationality that sticks together, but I don't see that. It's just the fact that when you are abroad, then you are betraying us.
Those people who commented, they don't know how much I actually miss Estonia, how I plan my trip home every day for the past 2 months already. They know nothing about me and what I'm here for. But they are all just commenting. Just accusing.
How should I be proud of my own nationality when my own nationality is more cruel than lots of others I know?

Bristol Zombie Walk 2011

2011-10-30T22:56:00.001+02:00

I'll start from the very beginning.
About a month ago a couchsurfing friend of mine made a post into facebook about a Zombie walk and I asked him what's it's all about. And he gave me the link to a Zombie walk group. Only the date of the walk was confirmed. So I thought I might go to Bristol on that day and have a look. Then, as couple of days passed, I decided I will go there as a Zombie and take part in it. Some days later I changed my mind again because getting to Bristol and back would have been complicated whilst looking frightening. Then, on Thursday evening, after coming home from Boot camp, I thought that oh, what the hell, I might as well dress up. Although the buses don't go and I can't stay for the whole event and so on and so on....

On Friday evening I coloured my blouse and ripped wholes into my leggings. My costume was ready. Now I just had to go to Bristol.

In Bristol I had a little bit of time to get some stuff I still needed for my Scottish trip and then I went to Cabot Circus's toilets to apply my make up. While I was doing that, lots of people had amused expressions on their faces whilst looking at me. Then I stepped out of the toilets and left the mall and then one woman about my age just saw me and jumped and screamed a little bit. Brilliant! The costume was right and working. And I already managed to frighten someone.
Walking to the gathering point was fun- everybody were staring at me with amused faces and some of them looked frightened and jumped a bit. It was so hard to stay serious and walk on without bursting out laughing. I had a hot dog and sat in one place for a while. I also topped up my cell phone and when I entered the mobile-store then the salesman over there lifted his hands as a sign of surrendering. I told him not to worry- my cell just needed food.

Then I headed towards the gathering point and on my way there I met a guy who had perfect movie make-up on and looked really scary. His name was Kyle (with blue contact lenses and whole head done properly with blood and blueish-grayish colour, and teeth looking broken) and we talked a while. Then arrived some more people dressed as Zombies. Everybody took pictures and we had to pose for some photographers and I took some pictures as well. And then some more people gathered and I saw my CS mates and talked to them and we took a group picture as well (I published it in the previous post). It was interesting to see so many people looking so great. Thousands of Zombies gathering. I'm not gonna tell whose Zombie versions came to the walk because I will just put the pictures here. But I can say that my favourite was Willy Wonka and Oompa Loompas :) They looked just brilliant.

Then came the time to start invading the central. The zombie-hord walked to Broadmead all craving for brrraiinnnnnssss. All bumping into each other. I made a very scary brrrraiiiiinnnnns-sound and walked as if I had sticks instead of my feet, my hands were stretched out and head leaning partly on my shoulder as my throat was cut by knife. I went around and touched the heads of the people and all the people were just laughing so hard. And I made altogether about 10 people scream a bit, also. We scared people in the cars, photographers, when public transport buses slowed down, we went to the windows and clinged to the bus, all thirsting for some brains. It was so much fun. And even though it was a bit cold I didn't feel it because I was so busy walking and scaring people and just simply having fun.
I couldn't do the walk 'til the end, because I had to catch the bus back home but I heard that some cunts and put some fireworks exploding in the bearpit in the audience and some idiots had climbed the police vans, so there were altogether 5 people arrested. There had never been anything like this before. And some people also took it as a political march against cuts and whatever all the people in the world are protesting against at the moment. But those were still rare exceptions. There were also civilians who were "shooting" the Zombies trying to save the earth but they obviously failed because Zombies can't die. They tried to shoot me once too, I pretended to fall down and then got up again to get their brrrrrraiiiinnnnsssss!

Anyway, on my way home I got many amuzed looks in the bus. When I waited for the bus home from Weston then one guy walked past me and told me my lipstick is a bit all over my face- I just took off my jacket and then he replied "Say no more.... " and went away, laughing.
On the bus some people came on in Winscombe and went to the Bonfire in Cheddar. They talked to me and told me I looked brilliant. One of the guys loved travelling and had camped next to the Talybont reservoir where me and G camped and then we just talked until I had to get off. The lad looked really hot, by the way.
When I got home I scared my family and friends in Skype a bit and then tried to get all the paint off from me.
And then went to sleep, having nice Zombie-dreams.
The mission of the day was accomplished- I managed to scare people and had lots of fun! I hope there will be another Zombie walk next year (the organizers doubt it because of those idiots vandalising) but this year's walk was just brilliant!

I wish we had stuff like this in Estonia.

Brrrrrraaaaaiiiiinnnnnnsssss!

2011-10-30T14:49:00.001+02:00

Soon, my darlings, soon you will see more photos of starving Zombies invading the streets of Bristol. Soon, my darlings, you will hear of the experience of a hungry Zombie walking in the streets of Bristol among with thousands of soulmates. All craving for some brrrrrraiiiiinnnnnnnnnssssssssssss!

Boot camp

2011-10-28T00:53:00.003+03:00

I just had my first boot camp class today.
Besides the fact that we stood the whole spinning class doing climbing and high speed and increasing the resistance constantly, I started off with military class now.
Gosh, that was interesting, hard as hell and at the same time great fun - totally enjoyable.
In the beginning of the class we just jogged around and warmed ourselves. There were some tires and we had to push them around, then run around with two tires, lift tractor tires off the ground one side and flip them around, sit on the tire when another person pulls you and then change, go down on the tire with your toes touching the tire from one end and knees leaning on the tire and pull yourself around the room, do 10 squats with 20kg, 17 kg, 15kg and 9 kg weights, lifting car tires above your head etc. All of that in high speed. And it was a circuit training. I was swearing hard during the whole class, sweating as a pig but laughing at the same time.
I will do it again next week (and the one after that and so on until I come home).
And after the Boot Camp I had yoga and I already started hurting by the end of that class. Dunno, how I will feel tomorrow. Hope I'll be able to move around without hurting with every move. I think that might be a possibility.

Who doesn't know, then Boot camp classes are based on military circuit training and the instructors are from military and it's probably one of the hardest instructed classes that I know of. But the instructors are good and they push you and tell you to move not to crawl around like a slug. It's a bit like the thing you see in the movies, just easier. But still very hard.

And sooooo damn good.

"High flying birds" and "Mylo Xyloto"

2011-10-26T00:25:00.002+03:00

I have now managed to listen to Noel Gallagher's and Coldplay's new albums.
About NG- his album sounds a lot like Oasis but its completely enjoyable. The songs are similar as well- or what I mean is that when I listened to it for the first time, it all sounded the same. But, it's Oasis style and I could mistake some songs for the Oasis songs if I dind't know it was NG.
About Coldplay- I have listened to the album once. I could say I was a bit disappointed. They have gone mainstream. The songs sound like pop and they have made one song with Rihanna. I liked only two songs from the album because they sounded a bit more like Coldplay that I know. But well, I heard also some elements of traditional Irish music in the songs. So, it's an interesting mixture and I have to listen to it again to have proper opinion. I already hear some the song "Paradise" in the radios all the time.

In the meanwhile....... BRRRRRRRAAAAAIIIIINNNNSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!

;)

A little bit more about locked-in syndrome

2011-10-22T20:54:00.002+03:00

I just found this article about a man living in the UK who has had the locked-in syndrome for 6 years and wants the government to have the law which would allow him to die. To die through someone else's hands, through an injection. Because he himself is not capable of doing it...
Click here to read the news

I have just managed to get myself a book called "The diving bell and the butterfly" and will receive it in couple of weeks time. If anyone wants to lend it from me when I get back home, then you're more than welcome. It should be a very interesting and thought-provoking book.

More about locked in syndrome in one of my posts from the archive

If I only understood myself

2011-10-16T20:49:00.003+03:00

Sorry for not posting anything informative in the past couple of weeks. I've just been lazy or not motivated enough to do anything useful. Even right now I'm actually forcing myself to do something instead of just sitting in the facebook and staring at people's updates and pictures hoping there will be something interesting or someone will start talking to me. Complete waste of time, I know.

So. I haven't done much in the past couple of weeks. I went to Cardiff to see G the last weekend. Had a Monday off, so I stayed in Cardiff a little longer. Wanted to see the folk museum and go to the bay again, but as the weather was so miserable, I didn't do either of them. It was really windy and drizzling.
Went to pub a lot, ate spicy food, watched telly and just relaxed and enjoyed a weekend outside Somerset. Stayed up late. Had fun.
On Sunday, when we were in the pub then at one point when I was ordering some Guinness, there was "While my guitar gently weeps" playing in the speakers and I started singing along to it. Then a man next to me asked me if I could play guitar and I replied that I can. So he started talking about himself and the fact that he has a tutor and has some trouble with getting the F chord. And then told me to practice 15mins every day and "get that little finger going" and once I would get the F I'd get all the other positions as well. I got my beers and went back to the place I sat and told G about that strange man.
Then the pub closed the section we were sitting in and we had to go downstairs and suprise surprise - the man was still sitting there. Then after a while he noticed me and G and started telling me about the F again. He was pretty loud so the whole pub started listening to our conversation. And then... The joke began... G knew what the man was talking about but then asked him if he has read the book about Kamasutra. And the whole conversation got the whole different meaning. Probably the audience didn't understand a thing we were talking about until Kamasutra was mentioned. Everybody were rolling in laughter, I had tears in my eyes. The man was still talking about the guitar, G about Kamasutra. About position 1, position to, to practice f with the little finger every day 15 mins. The bar attendant tried to quiet us down but eventually gave up as he was laughing so hard. Oh, I still laugh my head off when I think about it. Brilliant conversation. When we left the pub I told in a very loud voice to the man to practice the F because I am already pretty good at it and my little finger works good. And then we left, leaving behind bursts of laughter.

Besides that trip to Cardiff, I haven't done anything else basically. Just work, leisure centre. I watch Torchwood now so this takes away a big amount of my free time.
The thing with me right now is that I'm so confused about everything. It feels like bipolar and a very intense one. I mean, on stage in bipolar is supposed to last for days, even weeks, but my mood changes every couple of hours. I miss home, I don't miss it, I'm happy to be here, I'm happy that it's only about 3 months left 'til I go home, I'm happy not to travel around much, I want to have some action in my life, I'm scared of going home and setteling down there again, I'm scared of leaving this country, I want to talk to people, I don't want to. I dont' understand myself any more at all. And it is so tiring.

I just try to keep myself busy with all the activities and just look happy so that no-one would ask me anything.
I've taken some pictures in the area and will upload them here now.
In about 30 mins time I'll go to hunt some pictures of the Moon. Let's see how good my digital camera is :)

Oh, and what's more- it seems that as the weekend comes we ain't got no heating and warm water. It's happened for two weekends now. Starts to piss me off already.

Get out of the car!

2011-10-15T19:29:00.001+03:00

The following is supposedly a true account recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida.

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs, "I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!"
The four men didn't wait for a second threat. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver's seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition.
She tried and tried and then she realized, why. It was for the same reason she had wondered why there was a football, a Frisbee and two 12-packs of beer in the front seat.
A few minutes later, she found her own car parken four or five spaces farther down.
She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake.
The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing.
He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun.
No charges were filed.

Moral of the story? If you're going to have a senior moment.... make it memorable!

The Alice in Wonderland syndrome

2011-10-04T00:11:00.001+03:00

Read here

Interesting, but I have felt like it is described in the article sometimes when I've been ill and have take medications to get better.
That's really odd.

But. I just found an interesting blog to read.

Oh those sweet memories...

2011-09-30T00:46:00.000+03:00

Although this one seems to be a lot easier, I remember when I had my sporty welcome to NRG.
Wake up at 5am, some exercises, then school, then some more sports. Then 2 weeks of pain in the legs....
Oh, sweet sweet memories. Wish someone had taken videos of our Sports day.

Am I going slightly mad?

2011-09-28T22:39:00.006+03:00

It's altogether 20 classes for the next 15 days.

PS: We have got summer now! It's more than 20 degrees (68 in Fahrenheit) here now. And they are promising 28 degrees (82,4 degrees in Fahrenheit). Yeah, as they told today- it's the hottest end of September since 1895. And it was the biggest storm since 1996 and the coldest summer in the last 18 years. Now thats the country to come to.

Happy, happy, happy, happy!

2011-09-27T23:12:00.004+03:00

I was in the leisure centre today and in Aqua Fit class. There are some people with learning disabilities occasionally attending the class. And they were there today. With them was one new girl who looked at me during the whole class and then, as the class was nearly over, she came and told me her name. And then she just stood next to me and continued with the class. Then we did some swimming around and she went and talked to the only guy in the room- the lifeguard and then came back to me. And when she got to me, she told "Here you are! The second person I like here!".
There were about 20 people attending the class altogether....

It's the second time some person with learning disabilities has approached me out of all the people surrounding them.

I seem to be some kind of a magnet!

But I love it!

Im so so so happy right now! I can't believe how couple of sentences could make me so happy!
But it's definetely one of the happiest moments I have had here for a long time.
I just want to sing and jump and cheer around now!

Wiii!

Blogging here is an excuse not to do more important things...

2011-09-25T20:08:00.004+03:00

Yeah, they promised that in October we will have snow.
It's been raining every day in here.
Now they told it will be +28 degrees next week.
The apples are ready on the trees and I've been eating them for the past 2 weeks already. And I will continue.
The leaves are changing their colours. And falling to the ground as well.

I made some Turkish pizza today. Me and Timi both love it very hot, so it was hot and just lovely. She loved the turkish pizza :)

I have become addicted to Torchwood.

I am ready for the winter.

... like reading books, playing guitar, going out for a walk, studying.

It's all about self-confidence

2011-09-25T00:27:00.002+03:00

This week has been pretty much usual. On Monday I was out the whole day in Tiverton again, where the residents of different homes had their representatives meeting. All the other days were usual- working in the house, doing a lot of things in the IT. Went to the leisure centre a lot, tried not to eat too much. The result- when I weighed myself the end of the week, I found I had put on a kilo! How come is that possible? Timi tells me that I have gained lots of muscles, and that she can actually see that from my body shape. But what the hell? I wanna lose some weight, not put on! Maybe I should reduce the amount of milk I drink? Never mind. I'm gonna continue my balanced and healthy active lifestyle. In the hope that it will actually have an effect.
And to be honest, I can't stop- I am addicted to the leisure centre. I just feel bad when I haven't done my usual workout in the evening. I tried Aqua Zumba again this week and realized it still isn't for me- the usual Zumba is brilliant, but aqua version of it is just too slow for me. I also went to the Yoga class on Thursday and I loved it. Will add it now to my timetable. It was nice to stretch all my hurting muscles and relax.
One of the residents died on Friday morning in the hospital. I'm glad that I hadn't worked with that residents too much because it is easier for me. I didn't react to it as bad as I thought I would have.

Then. As usually, I get pissed off by some tiny (big to me) things at work that are related to other worker's attitudes or things they say sometimes. There are lots of things I would like to say to some people, but I'm too scared of them. I'm scared of some people in the place I go to work. I can't write much of it here, but I really wish I could have the self-confidence to go and actually tell them about things I think are wrong and should be given thought of. To improve the working quality of all the people.
But I can't. Not at least now. I'm thinking about doing it right before I come to Estonia, I hope I will be given the chance. I hope I won't ruin it by being too scared. I would like to be more self-confident to stand up for the things that I think are right. Because if I won't stand up it will stay haunting in my head and heart for my entire life. I know that. Because if I don't do that, I will regret letting go the opportunity to improve the lives of the people I care for.
I wish I could be like G, who's not afraid to tell things out loud even if it might cost him his job.
I'd like to be like him- to be confident enough to fight for the things that I know are right.

Because otherwize I'm just torturing myself for not doing the right thing.

PS: my apartement-mate is really good- I don't know what I'd do without her.

Well, what can I say?

2011-09-18T00:42:00.002+03:00

Nothing really....

Today was a lazy day. It was Saturday. I was home, watched how I met your mother and Dr. Who new episode. I went to the shop and got some wine. I drank some wine with my roommate while watching a movie "Marley and me". It made me cry. It made me miss my dog.
I'm drunk right now.

I shouldn't have gone to that Zumba class yesterday because I felt like I'm gonna collapse in the middle of it- luckily I didn't.

I'm drunk and I'm happy.
I hope.

I haven't drank that much since I came back from that bicycle trip with G. It was a month ago. I feel goood... na na na na na nana.
A bottle and a half more of wine with coke is good. I love wine with coke. My apartement-mate is brilliant for being Hungarian and introducing me to this lovely habit.

I miss my dog. And my cat who was born on the same day as me and was able to catch fish and unfortunately when some idiot drove with a 4x4 wheel landrover over him and just crushed him when I was 15. I miss my cat. I miss my dog who has gotten old every since I left Estonia. He didn't even pick up the toy I gave him when I went home. Such a change in 4 months.

I'm drunk and I'm feeling things more powerful than they are in undrunken world. That's what happens when you have some wine.

Oh gosh, I should stop typing because when I'm gonna read this post tomorrow it'll probably sound rubbish. But I WILL NOT delete it, because I never delete the posts I have made.

Anyway.

Have a nice evening, everybody

And also- all my friends, people from Maarja küla, family, UK friends, everybody that make my life as pretty as it is, my pets through my whole life- I love you. And I truly love you. And I don't want you to forget that. Just because I'm drunk (a bit) it doesn't mean that I don't love you when I'm more sober. It's just that it's easy to say things when you're drunk (and obviously you want to talk a lot when you have gotten some degrees of hot grown-ups drinks into you). And well, I mean it.

I love you all!

Ghoooooooooood night! Nos weidth dda! Gutte Nacht! Dobrõi notš! Head und!

470 ml in 4 mins 21 sec.

2011-09-15T23:08:00.003+03:00

I went to donate blood today in this country for the first time.

Firstly, you had to book an appointment to do it, so I had one. Secondly, I had to go there by bicyle because that was my only form of transportation.
But....

In comparison to donating in Estonia, I can say that it was a bit funny experience in here.
Firsly, when I stepped into the house it was a usual house which was turned into donation centre just for one day. It looked like some kind of hospital for the wounded people during war time. The people were laying on the donation beds and nurses were walking around in long uniforms and there were medical things everywhere. The place was full of people.
Then, to measure my hemoglobine rate, they didn't do the test with the machine but had some kind of liquid where they put my blood into and it just sunk to the bottom. And if it hadn't sunk then they would've done the test with the machine.
When I donated blood, they didn't measure my blood pressure. Oh and when they took the blood from my finger to test hemoglobine rate, the took the blood from the right hand and middle finger. In Estonia they take it from the 4th finger of the left hand.
Anyway, they took 470 ml's and the time for this was 4:21 for me. Really nice and quick. And then they thought in the beginning that I was first time donating, but I told that I've done it around 7-8 times in Estonia. So when I had given my blood one of the nurses came and gave me the bronze certificate and a pin that I can fasten to my jacket. Because it was about the 1oth time for me to donate blood. Lovely :) I quite like England now.
Oh yes, almost forgot- they didn't manage to get the needle into the vein at the first trial so they had to move the needle around in my hand a little bit. It hurts at the moment a little bit and I think I might have a bruise tomorrow. But well, never mind. At least I got to donate blood!

Anyway. I feel really good right now. Cycled back home after the donation and well, I feel as good as I usually feel after donating, so everything's cool.

Oh and when I came home then my Estonian friends told me that there is a picture of the Into-the-wild guy I had met in the pub in Tartu (my hometown, pub is named Zavood) right before I left. It's silly that he didn't contact me through the email I gave him, but well, how often would you contact a drunken woman who says that they live in another country? Anyway, I now know his name- it's Mattias.

Would be nice to get in touch with him. He seems to be a very interesting guy. Well, maybe when I get back home and will go to the pub again, I will see him. Hopefully. Fingers crossed.

And also. I have to mention that I'm really happy here. I've met some really nice people and life is just beautiful. And the weather seems to get a bit better, too. We have some sun and it feels like a typical autumn. Only the leaves on the trees are still greenish. Soon it will be colourful, too. Can't wait!

Strawberry line aka route 26

2011-09-11T21:08:00.005+03:00

I had a pretty efficient day today. The original plan to be lazy and do nothing didn't work out.

So to start with, in the morning I cleaned the bathroom. After that I decided that it's nice and sunny and it will probably be like that for the next 2 hrs so I took my bicycle and went to Yatton. The bicycle path that I always cycle is called the Strawberry line and the only part of it that's completely ready is going from Cheddar to Yatton. It's 11 miles long.
So I cycled the whole way to Yatton. It was a lovely path- in the nature, almost no dual carriageways or any other roads the cars drive on. There were lots of people cycling and picking blackberries. There were people fundraising money to build some new cycle paths (they wanted 5 quid a month which I obviously couldn't give them).
In the end of the cycle path there was a cafe named Strawberry line and it was held by people with learning disabilities. One of my reasons to cycle the path was to go to this cafe. I had an ice cream and a tea there and some of the workers in the cafe were indeed with learning disabilities. Lovely way for them to earn some money. The cafe itself was cosy and reminded a little bit of Genialistide club in Tartu. It had tradeable books and all kinds of ads on the walls. And it was tiny, had some couches in it. The cafe is in the railway station so you could see the trains going past you all the time.

On my way back I talked to a man who told me that there are some really nice cycle paths on the coast of south England in Cornwall county. I have been thinking about going there already for a while and now I think I might actually do it. Cycle to Weston, catch a train from there to Penzance and make it a day trip.

When I got home it was still sunny so I decided to go and pick some apples and blackberries. The last ones I turned into jam and made some pancakes to eat with the jam. Lush!

And I planted my basil seeds and now just have to hope that they will actually start growing. We will see.

I would say that I had a very nice day. And I'm a bit tired now, but I've still got loads to do.

American Pie @ St. Michael's

2011-09-11T20:51:00.000+03:00

Hallelujah @ St. Michael's

2011-09-11T20:47:00.000+03:00

Summer=Autumn=Winter=???=rain

2011-09-10T23:22:00.003+03:00

You wouldn't believe what I am going to tell you now but I can guarantee that it's true. At least according to the news and scientists. Well. This summer was the coldest of the last 18 years in the UK. It seems that I picked the right summer to be here.... I have probably never seen that much rain in one summer during my whole life, that I saw here. And now, as September began, locals told, that it should be nice.
Well. It's pretty warm in here. And humid. When I went to the leisure centre on Thursday it felt like I was exercising in sauna. It was so wet and hot. 19 degrees outside (in Fahrenheit it makes 68 degrees - yes I have learnt to calculate temperature into Fahrenheit - double the celsius temperature and add 30). And then there is a hurricane rushing towards UK. It's called Katie and it hasn't hit any land yet- it was formed across the Atlantic and in the beginning was supposed to hit USA but then changed it's direction and is heading here now. Probably will get here tomorrow night. They promised 50ft waves in the seaside and 80mph wind (35 m/s). I have never seen this strong wind. Should be interesting.

So much of the warm September.

Right now I have almost no plans (except Cardiff in the beginning of Oct and hopefully Scotland in the beginning of November). I guess Scotland will stay my last big trip in this country. I'm not bothered enough to travel around too much and I also want to save some money for Estonia. I'll probably still go to Cardiff couple of times and Bradford once, too, but I think that's about it. Only local trips to Bristol, Bath, Weston.

I just borrowed some books from library and will start to remind all the psychology stuff because school and my research is not far away any more. Today, when I wanted to borrow the books, I found out that the system had changed into automatic. So- I lent books through a machine. I have never done anything like this before and it worked fine. I didn't even need any assistance. And also in the shop- I paid in cash into a machine- self-service one. I wish Estonia had developed so far that all the shops have self-services and libraries too. (Actually I think the university library is self-service, or am I wrong?)

I got myself new trainers so now I'm gonna work out nicely. Also the guitar.

Work is the same as usual.

Last week one of my co-workers told me that I am always so happy and enthusiastic and she didn't understand how I can be like this. So I explained her that in this job most of the people are too frustrated about the rules and health and safety and paperwork that they simply don't have time to smile. Or they just aren't bothered enough. But I am here for the residents and work with them all the time and if no-one else is happy then there has to be at least one. And if I'm not happy and smily all the time then who else will be? I make other people happier and try to bring some sunshine into the people's lives. That's what I'm here for.
Being unhappy or just boring means that I'm not giving my best for my work to be good.
And also, I can't bring my personal life into my work. So, when I go to work- the moment I step into the house, I leave my personal life issues behind the main entrance and they will stay there until I go out from the house again after my work finishes.

It's nice to hear from people that I'm different from all the volunteers that have worked here before because I'm so happy and enthusiastic all the time. It makes me try even harder :)

I just watched new Dr. Who episode and ate some mushroom sauce with potatoes and Estonian spices. I am satisfied and will be lazy today.

Maybe I'll do some more things tomorrow, but it depends on the weather.
The blackberries are now completely ready and apples should be ready, too.
I will go and pick some tomorrow.

But right now I'll start reading one of my psychology books and will try to educate myself.

Good night.

Bath

2011-09-05T23:09:00.005+03:00

This weekend I had a small daytrip to an old Roman city called bath which is about 45mins away from here. I went there with one of my co-workers and another co-worker of mine showed us around because she is local.
Bath is as big as Tartu (by the amount of the inhabitants) and is an old Roman city. It's got really nice architecture dating back to Victorian age in most cases and actually to old Roman empire when Romans were ruling UK.
The city has got old Roman Therms in it- where Brutus used to go to take baths and talk to all the other aristocrats.
We also went to a Sally Lunn's bun cafe where they made really nice bun sandwiches and I bought some home with me, too. The buns are really soft and got loads of holes in them and are really nice. I loved them.
The whole day was really nice and I would like to actually live in Bath if it wasn't that crowded with tourists.
I heard that Johnny Depp has an aparement in Bath. Unfortunately didn't manage to spot him there....

Videos from families evening

2011-09-04T18:08:00.003+03:00

I know I already uploaded one video of the songs that I performed at work, but I thought I should also upload the rest of them. So that everybody could judge me on how good/bad I was.
I can tell I was not half as nervous as I thought I would be, but this could also be due to the pint of Guinness that I had on that evening. Anyway, the evening was nice- St. Michael's Singers sang, I did my performance, Iain (my guitar teacher) did couple of songs. There were some professional performers who looked like they had stepped out of the eighties- everything about them was from this era. Though- to me they seemed to be the typical old-people's performers, so I wasn't too fond if them, but as the residents loved them, it was all good. I also saw one of my co-worjers wiwho is usually just running around the house in his domestics apron, wearing a glittery costume and doing disco and dancing around. Had a great laugh about it.
Ate a hot dog and some cake this evening. The food was really nice. And it was a nice evening. Got a wine from the activities leader also for my performance. Nice....

Cage The Elephant - Ain't No Rest For The Wicked

2011-09-04T17:51:00.002+03:00

They sound a bit like The Red Hot Chili Peppers, don't they?

Anyway, I love this song.

Life in the middle of the forests

2011-09-02T01:05:00.000+03:00

Fun, fun, fun

2011-08-31T23:51:00.000+03:00

If sex between three people is called a "threesome" and sex between two people is called a "twosome"..
...then why is "handsome" still a compliment?

Elbow - One Day Like This

2011-08-29T22:14:00.011+03:00

Singing along to this song at the Reading fest was just brilliant!

The unbelievable day at the Reading festival

2011-08-29T22:14:00.010+03:00

I just got back from Reading festival today and am completely exhausted. But I am happy and satisfied. More than that! I am thrilled! I saw so many so brilliant bands and had such a great time that it just tightens all my muscles when I start thinking about it.

My day started really early - I got up at about 05:30. Packed my bag and started cycling to Weston. When I got to Banwell I discovered I have a flat tire and couldn't cycle on, because the tyre started coming off. I called John and he came and picked me up and took me to the train station. He also promised to fix my bicycle. Bless him! I've got such nice co-workers!

When I got to Reading I walked to the festival area and got my wristband. Then I got myself a festival-hat and walked to the main stage. It was pretty early and there was about an hour 'til the first bands came on the stage, so I had some lunch and explored the area. At 12 o'clock I went to the Lock up stage to see the first band which was called Fighting Fiction. They were pretty good and I think I might add them to my music collection. They did indie-rock kind of music. They were on stage for about 30 mins and then after a short break came Spycatcher. They were really cool. The singer swore a lot but encouraged the audience, who in most cases didn't know any lyrics, to sing along or at least hum along. I liked them, too.

Then after they finished I went to NME/Radio 1 stage to see a band called Best coast. They weren't too good. I guess I'm not into females singing too much, so I wasn't that happy with them. They were indie-band but all the songs seemed too similar to me.
After they finished a band named Cage the Elephant came on the stage. I had had a listen of couple of their songs previously on Youtube so I knew they would be good. And they were good. I knew some of the songs from radio (e.g. Ain't no rest for the wicked). The singer danced on the stage (looked a bit drunk, to be honest). He did crowdsurfing and the audience went wild. I was in the beginning of the performance quite in front of the crowd, but because of my camera I had to back off. When the singer started to surf the crowd, then some people from the audience did the same. So there were about 5 people altogether in one place on top of people. And the people tried to surf towards the singer and hug him while surfing. It looked painful for the singer because he was upside down in the audience sometime and was just twisted all the way. The security did their best to try to get him out of the crowd but it was complicated. When the singer finally managed to come out of the crowd he climbed one of the barriers which fell down under his weight. Crazy! But I loved it. And the songs were good. Definetely a band to go to my music-list. After Cage the Elephant I decided to have a break and eat something and then I discovered that CTE is doing singing in the signing tent. So I went there and got the autographs from the whole band as well! Hehe, brilliant!

After I got the autographs I went back to the same stage. I saw a little bit of the band called Warpaint. They were quite enjoyable.
But then- after they finished Panic! At the Disco came on stage. The crowd went mad, it was so cool! I was jumping around and humming along to the songs (I didn't know the lyrics) and when they were playing "Nine in the afternoon" I was sooo happy! finally a song I could sing along to! Cool! They played for about an hour. I decided that I have to download more of their songs rather than just have this one song.

After P!ATD finished I went to the Main Stage to get the best view by the time MUSE came on the stage. I saw a band called INTERPOL and they were pretty good. I just saw couple of songs but I enjoyed it. And during their performance there was a big whole rainbow reaching exactly from the lefthandside to the righthandside of the stage. Beautiful!

After Interpol, a band called Elbow came on the stage. Well, I was amazed. They were so good! They involved the audience all the time- encouraged us to raise our hands and wave and hum along. And the music was enjoyable. I just closed my eyes sometimes and listened to it and swayed in the place I was standing. A beautiful evening. It was sunset also at the same time. Lovely! Definetely a band I will download now. Out of all the bands that I discovered, Elbow was sure as hell, the best one.

Then after they finished, there was a half an hour break. During that break I managed to talk to a girl in front of me so that she let me stand next to her (there was a barrier in the middle of the crowd and I was standing on the second row after the barrier and was worried about the camera, the place was really good- not too far from the stage and still far enough to survive the crazy crowd). So I had a perfect location to see the next band.
There were curtains on the stage to prevent us from seeing the stage before the main act came on the stage. And then when it got dark enough it started. Firstly we saw some figures on the curtains and the band playing. Well, the band was called MUSE and the figures were the ones they have on the "Origin of Symmetry" album cover. Then the curtain was lifted and the crowd went wild. MUSE was really really brilliant! I loved every second of their performance. The quality of the music was really good- they are amazing when playing live. The show itself- well, there aren't enough words to desribe the brilliance of it. There was a huge screen behind the band where all kinds of figures, patterns, videos were shown. They looked cosmic, matrix, amazing! There were lazers, fire cannons, steam cannons, fireworks, lots of lights, special effects. It was just lush! It seemed like a big cartoon. And the crowd sang along to all the songs. It takes more than just words to describe the feeling I had while MUSE was on the stage. Ahh, just fucking amazing. I sang along to as many songs as I knew. And the most interesting part was that in lots of cases you couldn't guess which song the band was going to play the next because they made jamming for the introduction! And oh yeah, Matthew Bellamy smashed one of his guitars during the performance. And the guitars they used, had lights on. One of the guitars looked like a piano. And in the beginning of one of the songs he sang into a rupour. And he played piano and everything! Just lush! I would go to see them again anytime. They were just amazing!

After they finished all the crowd went to the campsites. As I wasn't camping I went to the cinema tent. It was the Lock-up stage and we had to sit on the ground. It was dirty and covered with trash. But all the people were just sitting there and wathing the movie called "Inception" (didn't like it at all) so I just sat there and tried to sleep a bit. But it was too cold so I couldn't sleep much. I felt like a homeless person. After the cinema tent finished with the program at around 3am we were all kicked out of the arena so my only option was to try my luck and go to the train station in the hope that it will be opened. And it opened just as I got there. Loads of people from the festival were also there, sleeping on the floor. The station looked like a shelter for homeless people- everybody were dirty, had big bags with the camping stuff with them, the place was covered with mud and everybody were just sleeping there. Quite an amuzing view. And I was one of them. Tried to sleep a little bit, but it was chilly so I gave up after half an hour. My train from Reading to Bristol was at seven so I had some breakfast in the station and drank some tea and then just sat and waited. I was cold all the time and shivering.

I couldn't sleep in the train much either when I was there so by the time I got to Weston I was really exhausted. And then I collected my fixed bike from John's place and cycled home. It was a nice and sunny day and the cycle was enjoyable. When I got home I wasn't tired at all in the beginning but in about 5mins time I felt I could just fall into winter sleep. So I slept about 4 hours and then discovered that we have no heating and warm water. Blimey.
And it seems that there is something wrong with the electricity, too, because Timi told me that I had used so much electricity that she couldn't believe it. But the thing is- I haven't used much electricity. I usually use it less than her.... Mystery. And I wasn't home all the time either.....

Tomorrow we will go to see our managers about it.
Because I'm still dirty and the only way to stay warm is to stay in the bed under the duvet or have loads of clothes on.

Anyway,
I love festivals! It was the best festival experience ever! I'm just so happy about it!

Respites strike again

2011-08-25T18:59:00.002+03:00

I was talking today to one of our respite residents and then they asked me if I was a model.

German, model.... What comes next?

Oh yeah, I twisted my ankle a little bit again today. In step class. So I had to go to the reception to ask for some ice. And well, there was no way I was gonna miss my class. So I held the ice on my leg for 10mins and then returned to the class. Luckily I had the strap on when I twisted it, so nothing too bad happened. I hope. Will see tomorrow, I guess.
I hate my ankle.

Programs that are inside and start to work....

2011-08-22T22:35:00.002+03:00

As the beginning of September is approaching, a tingling feeling in my tummy has started to get stronger and stronger. It took me a while to realize that it's because of the end of summer. for 14 years I have had a routine in the beginning of September. The school is starting. And now I really feel I want to go to school, work my guts out and just study. But I can't do that. At least in the way that I want to.
So this feeling is a notice to me that school is starting and I should go to Tartu and see my friends. Pack my belongings and just move to school. Yet, there's one problem- no school for me for this autumn.
So I have started to miss Estonia a bit now. I miss Tartu in autumn. I miss the spirit of this town. I think I know what is the spirit of Tartu to me- it is the students walking around in the sunny central of the town. The town being filled with young people. I miss going to the uni library, I miss walking around in Tartu. I miss waking up very early to go to lectures, getting home, relaxing in my apartement, cooking some student-food, eating, watching movies. I miss going out in Tartu where there's always a possibility to see some friends. Everywhere you go, you have a chance to see someone you know. And you also get to make new friends. I miss the spirit of Zavood. Having a beer there, or tequila. Requesting music from the bar attendants.
I miss my friends and walking around in the beautiful Tartu. That's the spirit of Tartu to me.
The feeling of wisdom and autumn and students and school and sunshine and warm beautiful old-summer's weather. And then rain in the morning. Misty mornings, when you have to wear wellies.

It's hard to be in here right now in this routine that I've fallen to. I need changes.
Can't do much to change anything in here.

I hope that at least someone feels similar feelings in the beginning of September or in the end of August. I can't describe it. It is just a feeling.

Blimey, I have become so emotional and analytic about my feelings recently. Scary.

Motivation deprivation

2011-08-19T00:32:00.002+03:00

I've been pretty busy during those past couple of weeks that I've just managed to post the most important and interesting things I've done in here.
But there are loads of other things, too.

For example I've been out with the residents a lot. I went to Bristol Zoo, Willowboats, Weston Pier, Longleat safari park, today I went to see the SS Great Britain. Some pub lunches, just trips out.

I haven't been doing work inside the house much and have just travelled around with the residents. I really loved SS Great Britain today - now I have an idea that I should once try to work on a sailing ship or sth. Oh those ideas!

I managed to break my camera while I was in Brecon so I can't travel around much in the closer future. I got myself a new camera from my last Estonian money today so now I have to collect money again. My scottish trip will happen in the distant future then, I reckon.

I have a new bicycle- will upload a picture soon, when I will get the change to take a picture of it again. Next week, probably.

I haven't got much motivation to do anything right now. I am not bothered enough to write to all my friends all over the world, not bothered to stay in Skype and call lots of them. I'm just staying in my room, or going to leisure centre or playing guitar. Will have to perform in couple of weeks time in front of approx. 200 people.

Timi is on holiday so I'm all alone in here until the end of the month.
I just made bread in here. Didn't turn out the best as I'm not used to the oven yet, but it'll get better in the future. At least it tasted good, it was just a bit burnt.

Vero is coming tomorrow. So I've got some company for the weekend! Haven't seen her since April so can't wait now :)

If I only had motivation to use my time more efficiently. I have become lazy in this country. Shame on me. (should contact some more people and not waste time just sitting and staring at the ceiling....)

Into the Wild = Brecon Beacons

2011-08-16T01:03:00.005+03:00

This weekend was probably one of the best weekends I have had in this country. Or in the UK I mean. The reason for that- I went on a bicycle trip with G. We went to Brecon Beacons National park which is located north from Cardiff.

The trip started on Thursday evening for me, when I finished work and packed my bag to go to Cardiff. Firstly, the bag I wanted to take with me to the trip, broke because of the weight it had to carry. So I had to take a lot more uncomfortable bag. Then, when I started cycling, the chain of my bicycle came off. Repaired it quickly. And then, with some rain, I cycled to Weston. I catched the train to Cardiff, tried to go to a pub G told me to meet him (got lost several times due to misunderstanding the instructions). When I finally managed to get to the pub, I met one of G's friends there and we just stayed there for a little while. And then headed to G's place where we stayed up quite late.

In the morning just before heading off to the trip, we discovered I had a flat tire. So the beginning of the trip was a bit delayed. But nevermind. We cycled out of Cardiff, through the castle grounds and then made a break after cycling for about an hour. G had hurt one of his rib muscles somehow so he wasn't feeling the best and we decided to take a train to Merthyr. After half an hour in the train we got off and started heading towards Brecon. The ride was nice, although we had some rain, it wasn't a downpour. During our trip we saw in one place a tiny boy, about 4 years old, who was driving with a bicycle, swearing hard and telling that he's a professional :) Great laugh.
We cycled through some towns, past some beautiful mountains. The Taff trail is really nice. But then... We had a bit of a problem because some of the signs on the trail disappeared (probably someone had stolen them) and we got lost. We managed to end up somewhere in the middle of a wild and very thick forest and decided to make a camp over there. G had a gas heater for hiking, which we used during our breaks to make tea and now as we set up the camp, we had some more tea and then made campfire as it got darker. We had to be very careful with the camping because we weren't in official campsites. But being in the middle of the forest in nowhere was really cool. We collected some firewood, had a spring right next to us to start cooking so we made some rice with vegetables, Estonian black bread and some Estonian chocolate. It was a very lovely evening, sitting next to a campfire. Proper camping that I hadn't done in a while. In beautiful nature with no-one to disturb us. As we were pretty tired, we went to sleep as soon as we ran out of firewood. It rained during the evening and the whole night. Luckily the tent was good enough and we didn't get wet. It was a bit cold though, because we had no mattresses and were sleeping just on the ground. And it was a bit tough ground, too, because the ground was all made out of tiny stones. But it was a really nice night. I couldn't sleep too much though, because I was shivering sometimes and also the raindrops falling on the tent made a loud noise. Oh, yeah, I almost forgot- G lost all his gears during the day so he had to do some repairing, also.

The following day we started our trip again around midday. After packing up and removing all the signs of us staying in the place, we continued our way on the path that we thought was the Taff trail. It wasn't. But eventually we managed to get back to the trail for a little while and then lost it again. We cycled past beautiful reservoirs. We had some rain, some sunshine. When we were a bit lost, we pushed our bikes very steep uphill and ended up in an ancient forest. The trees had fallen everywhere and were left there the way they had fallen. They were all covered with lots of moss. It felt somewhat magical in this forest. I managed to break the screen of my camera when I had it in my pocket (I also had some coins in the same pocket) so taking pictures turned out a bit complicated. After getting through this magical forest, we managed to get even more lost and ended up somewhere in the middle of some valleys on the side of the mountain from where the trees were cut down. So we decided to have a tea-break there because it was such a lovely place. you could see miles from that place. The view was just stunning- all the ways only nature, some sheep, pine forests, mountains, clouds and rain. You could see the rain coming from the distance by looking at the mountains. There was also an abandoned shelter we saw in the distance. It felt like Into the Wild movie. I really really loved it. I tried to climb on top of one of the mountains next to what we were but it just seemed to keep going on and on so I just went uphill a little bit. But the view was just perfect. I feel goosebumps even when I think about this place. Just soooooooooo pretty. You see places like this in the perfect wildlife movies, but experiencing it by yourself- just amazing. After enjoying this place for about two hours we decided we have to find a place to camp. While I was climbing the mountain, one cyclist had gone past G and told him that Merthyr is not far, so we started heading towards the place. We ended up in a tiny village next to Pontsticill reservoir and decided to make a camp next to the reservoir. It was a really beautiful lake and camping there seemed like a movie again. As we hadn't found any shops during our trip, we just ate some more vegetables with pasta in the evening. G made us a very nice fireplace and our tent was facing the water. Like a dream. We boiled some water from the reservoir, made a campfire and just sat and enjoyed the place. This kind of places just don't seem real! It was so so cool! And we had no cell phone signal in this place for 2 days, we just had our stuff, our food and had to manage with the water. Proper hiking :) And on the second night we didnt have almost any rain at all.
Sleeping was a bit harder on that night, though. Our tent a bit on the hillside so we kept slipping to one corner of the tent all the time and there were big rocks under the tent which hurt a little bit. But it was warmer.

On Sunday morning we packed our stuff together once again and collected some wild mint that was growing on the side of the reservoir and then started heading back towards Cardiff. We wanted to stop in a pub somewhere to have a proper meal but we didn't see any pubs on our way for almost the whole trip. So we just cycled for almost 4 hrs. During the trip my brakes gave up so we had to repair them, too. In Merthyr we cycled past some children (around the age of 5) who were just standing on the side of the cycling path and telling everybody to fuck off. Small child showing you the finger and yelling "Fuck you, fuck you......." was just so surprising. But I found out it was a rough area in Merthyr and we just had to drive through it as fast as we could.
During our trip we talked to other cyclists and some of them offered even help when we had the brakes' problem. So nice of them. I also heard some Welsh-English and couldn't understand almost a thing that people were telling. And Scottish accent is supposed to be even worse? Crazy..... But yeah, people were so friendly and talking to us all the time we saw someone.
Before getting to Cardiff we made a stop in one pub to eat something and have a pint of Guinness. It felt so good. And after the break we cycled the last 6 miles to G's home, had a shower and then went to a pub again to see G's friend. After the pub closed, we went to an Indian restaurant that does also takeaways and took a proper curry to home and ate a meal. And straight after finishing the meal, we ended up sleeping so tight.

And well, today morning G had to go to work by 8 o'clock, so I decided that it would only be fair to him if I got up as well and not sleep later. So I got up and we went to the town center and then G went to work, I headed back to Weston. Cycling home from Weston was hard and tiring. The hardest 11 miles I have done, probably.

I lost my bicycle lock during the trip so I went to work and asked if I could get another one from there and then I was told that my bicycle's tyres need to be replaced and I told about the brakes and then the manager of the house just told that they might as well get me a new bicycle. So I got the money, went to the shop with one of our drivers and on Wednesday I will get my new bike. Nice end to a nice trip :)

But now I'm too tired to write anything else and will go to sleep. This sleep will be good, I already feel it :)

I can say that I absolutely loved this cycle trip and cycled altogether around 100 miles which is 160 km approximately.

The best trip in the UK.

In the magical wilderness :)

Forest of Dean, Littledean and Gloucester

2011-08-11T02:46:00.009+03:00

On the last weekend I had a small trip to see some of the volunteers who live in a place called Littledean. It's located right next to the Forest of Dean and close to Gloucester. So I decided to have a look around in the city and see the cathedral. Firstly, I started my day with cycling to Weston. Then I catched a train to Bristol, where I changed it to go to Gloucester. When I got there I discovered it's really easy to walk around there- it had signs for tourists everywhere. And the central was tiny. So I went straightaway to see the cathedral. I saw the places where some parts of Harry Potter was filmed. The cathedral was nice, but nothing too spectacular compared to the ones I have seen already. But I still enjoyed it. And it was huge and majestic. After seeing the cathedral I went towards the docks and then discovered I had a message from Boris, a French volunteer who also came to visit Littledean. So I went and met him and we went once again to the Cathedral. On that day I managed to go to the cathedral 4 times.
Me and Boris walked around in the city, had a lunch in Wetherspoons and then met Elif (Turkish volunteer living 15min from Gloucester) and the new volunteers for her project. After talking to them shortly we all headed towards the coach station and took buses to our destinations.

Littledean is lovely. It's on the hillside and it's really rural. But nicely. As it's time for all the fruits to get ready you could pick plums from the trees and eat blackberries also. And the house of the volunteers was on the hillside, so you could see very far- about 20 miles or maybe even more? Anyway, the volunteers had a really nice big house- 4 floors and loads of space. Huge kitchen with all the necessary equipment. We had a walk around in the area to eat some fruits and then prepared a supper which was all made out of fresh vegetables that were organic and grown by the volunteers themselves during their project. Nice.... :)
In the evening we played poker and sooner than you could think it was already late night and we went to sleep.

The following day we went to Asha centre where the volunteers worked. We walked aroung with Marta and Hugo, because Laura and Quang Hai weren't that much into walking around. On our trip to Asha Centre we walked through the Forest of Dean. It's so nice and big. We had some rain during our walk but none of us minded it. We picked some garlic mustard and I've got some seeds at home now. :) Forest of Dean has lots of pine trees in it and also many old oak trees. Big, beautiful! I just loved it! I had a little bit of magical feeling while staying in the forest. And I also decided I would like to make a hiking trip into the forest. Trying to talk G into this now ;)

In the Asha Centre we ate lots of plums and berries and also picked some vegetables to eat lunch. It was a quick lunch because I had to catch a bus- it was Sunday, so the buses didn't go very often. I made a crown out of cornflowers :) After the meal we rushed to the bus stop and Laura and Quang Hai and Larissa (some girl who stayed in the volunteers home for a month for some project) brought me my backpack quickly. So all the volunteers sent me away.
I travelled to Weston by train. From Weston I cycled home. I got soaking wet because it started pouring water. Nice preparation for my bicycle trip that I'll start tomorrow. :)

But I know one thing- those volunteers are amazing and I really hope to see them all again. :) I don't know when or where, but I will meet them again!
And I will also go back to the Forest of Dean.

Laughter

2011-08-10T22:05:00.003+03:00

A Dying grandma tells her grandchild: "I want to leave you my farm. It has a villa, tractor, all kinds of equipment, buildings with animals in it and also 22 389 000 dollars." The newly rich granddaughter says: "Oh granny, you're so generous! I didn't even know you had a farm! Where is it located?" The grandma' replies with her last breath "In Facebook...."

Autumn breeze

2011-08-10T01:28:00.005+03:00

It has been a week now since I had the first feeling of autumn. It's really weird- it can even happen in the middle of July or in the middle of September. But it's the feeling that tells me that autumn's not far away.
First time I had the feeling, I was driving home from one of my day trips last Thursday. The second time was today.
I was cycling to the leisure centre and there was wind blowing. But the wind was different from the usual. And the sun that was up in the sky, was also different. The colour of it had changed. The angle it was shining from, was different. Noticeably different. And the wind was cold but not too cold. And the sun wasn't warming too much any more.
I might be weird but the first notice of change of sun and wind are the signs to me that autumn's coming.

I have no idea how to describe the feeling- it's tingling, at the same time nostalgic, anxious, happy, sad. It feels like there's somethine big coming and at the same time there's something pulling your chest together and trying to suck the air out of your lungs. And at the same time you smell the fresh and cold breeze. It's the feeling that tells you things are changing. And it feels like the end of something and the beginning of something.
It's really hard to describe the feeling.
But I know that I love it. Because it feels so good.
It's tickling.

I don't know whether to be happy or not- autumn- I love it. When it's the last warm weather of autumn and it's sunny. All the trees are colourful and it's just so beautiful. But in here autumn is supposed to start in October/end of Sept. Still quite a while to go. But I guess I still have the Estonian seasonal clock programmed into me that tells me, it's autumn coming up.
I would like to be in Tartu to see it. It's the best place for enjoying this season. I don't know why, but I love it there the most.
I hope it will be nice in here, also.

It feels like the school should start, but it doesn't for me. And it's weird. I'm not used to it.

I get similar tickling feeling before the spring starts. But the components that make up this feeling are different. Yet, it's the same.

Spring feeling - click on it

Hehe

2011-08-02T19:38:00.003+03:00

Today was a weird day.

Firstly one of the respites just looked at me and then asked if I was German. I hadn't even spoken to him so there was no reason he could've known I'm foreign. But well, he just had one look at me and then asked me this...... Funny.

And then.... in the afternoon many workers were acting exited because we had a celebrity in our house- it turned out that one of our residents' relative is Honor Blackman. Maybe the name Pussy Galore says more? She was the third bond girl in the Goldfinger movie.... I had no idea who she was until someone told me... But even at the age 85 she looked pretty stunning.

Busy bee

2011-08-01T00:52:00.003+03:00

This week has been crazy busy for me. I have done so many things that it might be even hard to count them all up.

I'll start from the last weekend.
On Saturday we had a barbecue with Timi in here. She had invited some of her friends to our place so we all just grilled and enjoyed the day. And ate. I didn't stay at the barbecue for too long, because I was supposed to go to Cardiff on the same day. So I was at the BBQ only for two hours. Then I cycled to Weston. Blimey, it was so hard- the wind was so strong, my stamina had gone low, and I had a flat tire. Well- altogether- I was gonna miss my train that I planned to catch. I quickly dropped my bicycle off to on of my co-workers home and then rushed to the shop to get a cake and wine for G. And then I knew I had missed the train because I was 10 minutes late. But, to my big surprise- the train was 20 mins late, so I didn't miss it. Had a nice journey to Cardiff and I managed to go to G's place by myself without getting lost in the town. Ha ha! He was expecting me to call him to tell that I'm lost. Instead I called him to get the keys to get into his flat. I gave him the wine, cake with candles and the present. He was very happy about the mug and the candle :) That made me happy too- I had nailed with all the stuff! Ha!
In the evening we went out to a local pub and then went to an Indian restaurant which had such big meal that I couldn't even eat half of it. But it was so gooood and spicy :)
After the Indian restaurant we went back to G's place and drank some wine and just chatted.
The following morning I had a hangover- really- Guinness gives me hangover. I only had 3 pints!
Anyway we just slept very long and when we finally got up, it was just enough time to eat something and then go to the train station to go home.

On Monday I went to Stonehenge and Salisbury. What can I say about those places- Stonehenge is tiny- a lot smaller than I expected it to be. And yeah, it's a pile of rocks. I didn't feel any magic in it - maybe because it was flooded with tourists? Hmmm..... But in Salisbury we had a pub lunch and then went to the cathedral! It was so beautiful! It had the inside garden that looked a bit like the one that's in Harry Potter movies. I love british cathedrals!

On Tuesday I went swimming again. And Wednesday I tried out Spinning. I was sweating as hell in the first 5 minutes already, but I loved it. It was really good :) Gonna do it again as soon as I can. After the spinning I did the Pilates, too :) The following morning was painful.....

On Thursday I went to Seaton with the residents and we drove on the Tramway which is there. It was a nice sunny day out- though nothing too special for me, because most of the things we saw, we have in Estonia, too. We just drove about 20 mins on tram from one station to another, looking at old oak trees and a river and then in the other station had some ice cream and then went back to the original station by tram. And then home, of course.
In the evening I had Body COnditioning and Step class :) I'm working out hard now, to be properly fit for my bicycle trip.

On Friday evening I went to guitar lesson again. I found out that my pronounciation is not the best for some songs and I should work on it. Iain (my guitar teacher) also showed me some ways to play "Elu keset metsa" in a more complicated way. I have now developed it in my room a bit more, so it sound pretty good and more colourful. After the guitar session I had supper in in my co-worker's home with his family- they made mexican food- something like wraps! Really good :) I watched some TV there also and was then taken back to my home :) I really love this family- they are all so great! I'm gonna make some black bread soon and will give some to them, because the mother od the family loves it :) At least I can do something. And I'm really happy for my guitar lessons. I feel some development!

On Saturday I went to Bristol to get some stuff from Primark for my sis and mom and dad and sent it off. I also wanted to get myself a raincoat because it's necessary in here, and it's about time to get one for me. So I went to a sports store and they had big discounts! I got a really good quality raincoat for 20 pounds- it was originally 45 quid. And I got myself a cardigan from Primark also :) After the big shopping (during what I got some rye flour and other ingredients for the bread) I sent the package off to my family and then went to see Bristol Harbour festival. It was a free festival. I only saw one band performing but they weren't good at all. To be honest, they were horrible. Didn't enjoy it at all. But the crowd and the festival environment was enjoyable, though. As the buses don't go to my home from Weston very late any more I had to leave from Bristol early- that's why I couldn't see many bands. I would've wanted to see more, but well- nothing I can do about it....
At home I just relaxed, watched movies and then went to sleep. Oh yeah- I made pancakes for myself, too! Heavenly bliss!

Today me and Timi went to a town called The Street and there's a big shopping village called Clarks village. Timi is going on a holiday soon, so she wanted some clothes. I got myself sandals- really nice ones. Cost only 8 quid- it was also from a sports shop- the original prize was 35 :) And I really love those sandals- they are those ancient Greek style sandals :)
After getting home I just cooked some pasta with spinach, cleaned a bit and then played some guitar.

Time flies so fast.
It's already almost midnight in here. Crazy.....

When you are flying around like a bee and are busy all the time you don't even notice the time going by.....

Exactly when you think you know it all, you discover you know nothing...... about yourself. About your future.

2011-07-23T01:19:00.002+03:00

I cried when I left Estonia. I cried when I was supposed to laugh. I had promised myself I won't cry. I let myself down. I don't regret.
I waited hours in the airport. I flied, travelled.

Now that I'm back in here, I'm not crying. I'm calm. Calm in the inside. Calm in a happy way.
I have fallen in love. With the country. With the EVS. I have finally settled in. I have finally found my place in the world again. It took some time, but I have found it again. And I've realised that it won't last for too long. I will have this place only for another 6 months. Then everything is going to change again. And I don't know how it's going to change. What's going to happen. I thought I knew, but no.... I've no idea.

Now that I live in my new home, I'm a lot happier. I have a really nice roommate, who I can talk to. She has a car. I have a social life in here now. I've got loads of plans, there are lots of people to see. I have quite a busy life. I can't go to leisure centre yet, but I'm trying to start with it again sometime next week.
I have started to take some guitar lessons and have already had one. There will be another one next week. Even the first one made a big change- I can now play "Hallelujah" in the Jeff Buckley version a bit. I do my own stuff in the middle of it, but it sounds really nice.
As I now have a garden, then I spent the last weekend in there. The garden is full of bushes and is really overgrown and Timi and me decided to make it look nice again. So the last weekend was dedicated to it. Now we have some more square metres of walking space and soon (when I've got some time again) the garden will be really big. And we discovered we might even have a tiny pond in it. It was hidden in the bushes. Doing gardening has made my home a real home to me now. I have done some changes in my home myself and now I'd really like to stay in here. The gardening really turned the Lodge into a home.

Some people have asked me out. I've got more people to go out with now. I have seen the new Potter-movie. It was a lot better than I expected it to be. We went to see it quite spontaneously- it was a 5min decision. Good choice, I would say.

What else... I don't know. I have just realised that I'm living my English dream. I am actually living it. I have woken up. It's nice. It's time to enjoy it while I still can.
I am in love with the place I am living in. No miserable feelings any more. Right now I don't want to think about the time I have to go back home. I even don't want to contact people at home very much right now. I know that soon I will want to talk to them very much. But right now I have the peace in my mind and soul and I want it to be like that. So yeah, my friends, I might not talk to you that often in the following couple of weeks, but bear in mind- I haven't forgotten you. I just can't contact Estonia right now.

I know that I will have people waiting for me at home. I know that it will be really good to go home and things will still be the same. Different, but still the same. And I know that when I get back it won't feel that I've been away. Now I know how it feels to go home after being away for a long time. And I guess this gives me the peace in my mind that I have in here. I think that this visit home was the thing I needed to proceed with my life in the UK.

I don't want to think about the future. It will be good to go back home again in February. But I've just realised that time is flying so fast. I don't know if I want it to stop. Or go faster. Or with the same speed. I just don't know.
I don't know anything any more. Almost. The one thing I know, is that I want to travel more. Don't know where, or which way. But I don't want to stop.
And setteling down is definetely not for me either. When it feels like it, then maybe, but right now it doesn't feel like it.

I love travelling.

I would like to travel the whole world, all the continents. Maybe I will do it in the future? For a year? Or two? Work in one country for a while, earn some money, go to another, work there and so on and on and on. This plan has been in my mind since the trip to Ireland. And it's getting more and more clear in my mind and forming a shape. Nice, scary and attractive form.
I'm scared of it, but at the same time love it. Dare to dream and dare to make those dreams come true.

Isn't it my life motto- all the people like to dream, but only a few make their dreams come true. I belong to the last group.

Mid-term in Derby

2011-07-23T00:23:00.004+03:00

I just got back from my mid-term training in Derby. It was so good!

Firstly, I managed to get lost in Derby with a map. (not to mention the fact that Derby is a really tiny city with the population of just quarter a million) At least I had plenty of spare time to get to the hotel, so I managed to be there at exactly the right time. On my way I also met some EVS who went to on-arrival. It came out that on-arrival and mid-term were both at the same time. Cool.

It was so nice to see all the other volunteers again and talk to them and make plans and hear about how they have been doing. It seems that my project is one of the best ones- some of the people hadn't even seen their mentors, had problems with the accommodation, money etc. I also saw Gaye and well.... She obviously didn't want to talk to me, but I tried to find out why she had deleted me from her friends list. Not need to guess or what? Anyway, during our training we were supposed to analyse our projects and she told so many so bad things about St. Michael's. I'm not going to repeat them here. But really, some of the things she said made want to slap her to her face. They were so not true. And.... I think she was expecting everybody to do everything for her in here. Well, everybody did everything they could, but you have to be active yourself to have a great time. And obviously she hadn't read about the project very properly before she came here. But well... I'm not gonna bother myself with her anymore. I'm glad she left because this way I could move on and move to the Lodge with Timea. She is a lot more talkative and active person to live with.

As I said, during the training we had to analyse our projects, point out the best and the worst things. I could happily say, that there weren't many major bad things about my project. Good for me! We also had to thing about the emotional curve and for most of the people it was going towards the positive way.

On the first evening we went to a pub to have pub quiz. That was cool. We drank beer and answered to questions about UK and EVS. We stayed in the pub until it closed. There was a local ex-EVS volunteer who came to our training also to talk about his experiences. In the evening I had a nice talk with him. He was in Italy and did some youth work. And as all the EVS volunteers, he never wanted it to end. His EVS, I mean. But right now he is in an indie-rock band and has a job. But still, he wants back....

Yeah, about the end of the EVS - It's 6 months left for me to be in this country. A bit more, but basically only 6. On the second day we talked about the youth pass that we have to write after our project has ended. We also did the mid-term evaluation about our projects.
Then we had to thing about where we're gonna be in 1 years time, so in July 2012. I have been a bit confused about lots of things recently but then I got really confused. I realised, I don't want to study psychology anymore and want to just change it into special studies. But I can't. I have to finish it, I have only 70 EAP left. Oh, crap..... I realised I didn't want to go to school at all, but just go and travel around a bit more. And more. And more.....

In the evening we went out to see one of the volunteers performing in an open-mic night. We saw lots of other bands as well. Most of them were awful. I wanted to run out of the room screaming. The volunteer who performed, did it really well, and it was great to hear it. During one of the performances some random people got on the stage, being really drunk, and just yelled into the mic and danced around all the time. It was a bit weird to look at it but funny at the same time. I just stood there during the whole show they made and watched it with my mouth wide open. After the open-mic we went to one club, but it didn't have many people in it, so we wanted to find another place to go but eventually all the people just headed back to the hotel and went back to sleep.

On the third day we spoke about our future opportunities and different projects which will allow you to live on the money of Europe for some years if you're really lucky. I'm definetely planning to take part in some of the projects. Yeah... if I only didn't have to go to uni again.

We were supposed to send a picture to the trainers before the training and then on the last day we were given a frame and we had to decorate it and put our picture into it. I had chosen the picture we made in Cardiff about a week ago with all the people watching at the camera. Lots of noses.... We also had to talk why we chose exactly this picture.

To end our training, we made a group picture and then had the last lunch together and then everybody started to go away to catch their trains....

On the first weekend of August I will go to Gloucester to see some of the volunteers who live there. They live right next to the Forest of Dean. Aaahhh! So cool! I am really looking forward to it.
And also..... We are planning with one girl to go to Scotland :) Even better! Now we've got really nice plans :)

I am glad that we had our training, but it was too short. And it was a bit sad also, because the training meant, that we have so little time left in the country now...... And some of the people I saw for the last time...

Time to think about moving on... Again.

Judith in the UK and the meeting in Cardiff, birthday

2011-07-17T01:14:00.001+03:00

As soon as I got back to UK, there was Judith waiting for me in the airport. Timea came to pick us both up and we went to Axbridge. We stayed up very late, just talking and talking and I was really exhausted when I finally got to sleep.
The following day me and Judith went to the Gorge, ate some Indian food and then headed to Weston to have a look around.

It was really nice to see Judith in here, in the UK. She is the second volunteer who I've seen more than once after their EVS ended and she's also one of the village ex-EVS people who I've talked most since they left.

So I was really really glad to see her. Sorry for not being too detailed about the visit, but I'm just a bit tired from today and want to make as many posts as possible still.

Anyway. In Weston, we made a big picture to the sand for the tide to wash it away as the water comes back. It was about our meeting in Cardiff. Yeah. After our tiny trip in Weston, we went by train to Cardiff where we met in the train station Huko (yeah, not G). Together with Huko we went to G's place where were Liisu, G, and G's friend Becky were already waiting for us. We drank some skrumpy, talked. It was the international Maarja Küla employers-EVS meeting in Cardiff. Who would've imagined that something like this will ever happen? Not me. Anyway.... We went out to Cardiff, to different pubs, enjoyed our time out. The following day Liisu and Huko left early to go back to Estonia and G went to work. So me and Judith had a breakfast in Wetherspoons (one of the cheapest places to eat in UK) and wandered around in Cardiff. Then I had to go back to Axbridge.

But on Wednesday, Judith came here again. There was also one Hungarian girl visiting us and then all four of us (Timi also) drank some wine, talked, played some games and ate my birthday cake, because it was the evening before my birthday. Oh, it was so cool. Judith made some pasta, also! And she gave me a card from G - it's almost like a book, with many pages. I've never seen a b-day card so big! But it's lovely!
Me and Judith stayed up quite late and recorded some videos for the other EVS volunteers and then went to sleep. The following morning Timi took Judith to the airport and we said goodbye in the airport. Oh, I'm so glad to have Timi in here. She is so cool and helpful and lovely! I have to make a cake for her or sth.....

After Judith left there was still a bit time until we had to go to work, so I had a quick bath and cleaned all the dishes.

At work, everybody just came to me with cards! I was so suprised. Some of the residents had made their own personalized cards and it was so so lovely! And my co-workers also gave me some cards. Then, at lunchtime, there was supposed to be fish&chips. I found out when the lunch started that it was because of me! Aaaahhhh. Everybody just gathered to the dining room, they sang happy birthday to me and gave me a present- a bracelet and a shirt made out of local cotton. Really soft one. And then we all ate together and had a taste of my apple-tear cake as well. Everybody loved it! Hihi! It was such a lovely day. I have got all the cards up on my wall right now.
Besides the gifts from the whole staff, some co-workers gave me small personalised gifts too- a book about south-west England, candies, earrings. It was such a lovely day!

In the evening I just took it easy and relaxed because I was so tired.
My phone rang constantly, I had huge amounts of greetings in Facebook...

My birthday was a lot nicer in here than I expected it to be. It was actually really beautiful! Thank you all for making it so nice!

The most beautiful sunsets in the world....

2011-07-16T22:38:00.004+03:00

During my whole stay in Estonia, there were really nice sunsets almost every evening. I saw all of them. I loved them. They were just beautiful.

My stay in Estonia was altogether more than astonishing! When I went to my friends' place after arriving to the country, I was the VIP guest and wasn't allowed to do anything. They had made food for me, and I got to tick off the last day in the calendar which counted the days until my visit home. We went to Zavood, had a great time there- I've got the pictures that are for the proof. The following day we walked around in hot and sunny Tartu old town, had ice creams (or coctails), went to shops, took pictures. Then we went to Tiina's place where we played carcassonne, ate my birthday cake, salad, sausages. I taught my friends to sing "Combine harvester" and they absolutely loved the song. Then they sent me to the coach station and gave me big-big hugs. It was such a lovely time.

From the coach station I went to the village where all the inhabitants greeted me. When I stepped into Sõbra maja, then one of the inhabitants jumped to my lap and hugged me so tight. Everybody greeted me and I just sat there. The life seemed to go on as if I had never been away. For them. For the next 24hrs I felt as if I had been away, although no-one else thought so. The volunteers community that I had been expecting to see, wasn't the same. The sauna-parties were quiet and ended early. Not what I expected.

Then the following day I worked in the Estonian house. Most of the people working there were the ones I hadn't worked with much. It was different. But... I was invited to take part in the rehabilitation camp trip out to Värska water park. We had much fun there, went to sauna, enjoyed bubble baths. After that trip out I felt like home again.

The following day I was working in the Swedish house. Although I wasn't supposed to me in the toimkond, I was in it for the whole day. I made Tikka Masala which the inhabitants adored and also made the cake. Everybody took 3 pieces :) I was a bit sad that I had to be in the house alone a lot, but then again I walked around in the village a lot and talked to all the people. And by that time, most of the people I wanted to see very much, had arrived to the village. Home.

Then on Friday morning my parents came to pick me up and I went to Rõuge. Had a chat with my youth club and updated them about my life. Then at home, I went for a walk with my dog and discovered he had gotten old during those 4 months I had been away. It was sad to see that. I sunbathed a little bit, jumped on the trampouline and then all my relatives came to celebrate me and my sister's birthday. By the way, when I first saw my sis, I didn't recognize her- she had turned into a babe. Really. Amazing.

In the evening I talked to all my relatives, drank some rum, ate a lot. Oh I love Estonian food!
And one of my relatives had a huge baby-tummy. Incredible.

Then, on Saturday I was working in the Sõbra maja in the village. I helped them to clean, watched little-Laura play guitar, made cake, went to Kiidjärve for a swim with Little-Laura and some inhabitants. In the evening we enjoyed a proper sauna. We watched the singing festival opening from TV. I am really happy that Little Laura will be in the village when I get back. She is so cool. :)

The following morning I drove very early to Tartu where I left my car and continued my trip on bus to Tallinn. In Tallinn I went to the place where my choir was supposed to gather for the parade. It was a hot day and it was especially hot because of the traditional clothes I had to wear. The parade was nice, we sang during most of it, I had no voice, though. Quite in the beginning of it, I twisted my ankle- again. And of course very badly. So it's still swollen up and hurts a bit. But the singing festival was lovely. I saw Teele and Sillu, my syrreal friends and Karo. I tried to predict all the songs that will be repeated from our set of songs and most of them were repeated. Oh, I almost forgot, I saw my godmother also, who gave me a lovely handwatch. But back to the singing festival- the rock songs were really good. I loved them. I loved the singing festival! It was tiny, though, compared to the last one. Lots of space on the stage- just 2 rows of people on one step, last time it was the double amount. When the singing festival ended, then people wanted to sing "Ta lendab mesipuu poole" because it was originally left out from this year's list. But then everybody just shouted to sing it, and the conductor came on the stage and started to conduct us. We sang with multiple voices, no need to teach us the song. :)
After the singing festival me and Karo walked to the bus station (in the beginning there were Kaie and Kerttu also with us but they went different directions) and also had some pizza before we drove to Tartu. I took Karo back to the village. It was all foggy- actually the fog was so thick that I couldn't see to drive properly. I got home around 3:30 and the sun started to come up already.

The next day I went to Võru, cut my hair and then went to see Maris and Maive. It was so great to see them. The only thing was that they were the only people about who I felt that I had been away for a little while. I stayed overnight at Maris's place with Maive, drank some wine, talked. It was nice to see them also. Maris cooked some typical Estonian food. Ohhhh, it was so good :) I love Estonia.

The next couple of days I was at home. I helped my parents with the gardening, collected some honey with my auntie and just relaxed. On Thursday we went to Tartu. I got to drive and almost got into accident on the roundabout. It was probably mostly the other driver's fault, but I had my part in it, also. But still, mostly it was the other driver who didn't see me and wanted to get off the roundabout from the inner lane. I was in the outer one.

We had some ice cream in Tartu and ate in Ränduri pub that's on top of the coach station. The waitress poured Guinness over us by mistake. Such a funny day. :)

In the evening I went to stay at my friend's place and we made some green and blue stripes into my hair. Unfortunately they have vanished so quickly- within 2 washes the biggest part of it was gone. We drank some rum and Vana Tallinn and then went to Zavood. Again. It was lovely over there. We didn't go to sleep that night, met some nice guys. There was also a guy who looked like from the movie "Into the wild". I asked him if he had seen the movie, but unfortunately not. But I gave him my e-mail addres. Sadly, he hasn't written me. I told him I live in the UK. Would've been nice to write with him, I think. But well, what's not supposed to be, is not supposed to be.

There were 2 guys who sat into our table and one of them was supposed to go to Australia soon. Interesting people. When Zavood closed, we went to collect my things for the apartement and then headed to the coach station. Before the bus drove off towards Riga, those guys also came to the coach station. To send me off. So beautiful! Such a lovely surprise. Unfortunately my friends went away from the station too quickly, so I don't have the contacts of those guys. Well, if we're supposed to meet again, then it will happen. I'd like to see this Australian guy again and hear about his trip.

Oh and also, before I went away from Estonia, I saw the sunrise.

I arrived with the sunset and left with the sunrise.
Then I drove to Riga where I had to stay the whole day in the airport and just try to sleep. Not very comfortable...

And then... with sadness in my soul, I took off to go back to Axbridge....

The best feeling in the world.....

2011-07-06T15:40:00.002+03:00

.... is to come home after you've been away for a long time. Especially if you are welcomed the way I was.

Firstly, when I crossed the border of Estonia and Latvia, the sun was setting. It was the most beautiful sunset I have ever witnessed in my entire life. It was the Estonian sunset.
Then, I saw some old remainings of the buildings and also some apartements from the Soviet-era. Yes, I got home. I was so happy to see those buildings and drive in the beautiful sunset. I have never considered such tiny things so important, but they are. I was also happy to see the pine trees because I don't have them in my place in UK.

Then, I got to Tartu. And when the bus came to a halt in the coach station, my friends were already waiting over there. With a big sign saying "Be welcome, Maria". And they all had kohuke in their hands. I felt like a movie star. They took pictures when I stepped off the bus and hugged me. I have never felt so good before. I had no breath (and I'm not exaggerating) and was drowning of tears of joy. Seeing my friends made me feel as if I had never been away. And have felt like this during my whole visit so far. It's just too good.

Then I went to the village. I stepped into Sõbra maja and they were having dinner at the same time. One of the inhabitants just jumped up and hugged me so hard, didn't say a thing and just hugged me for a long time. A lot of people hugged me the same way. In the beginning the village seemed like some strange place and I felt that I had been away. But then, after couple of hours it was all the ways the same as before. And everybody told me that they felt I had never been away. I felt the same.

And I had the same feelings when I got home, went to see my friends in Võru and saw my relatives also. I hadn't been away.

And now, that I'm about to go back to UK, I don't feel sad about going away. I will be gone for 7 months. I know that while I am staying in there, the time can go slowly. And I know I will miss home. But I also know the feeling that I will have when I come back. I also know what's going to happen in the UK. I know everything. And the knowlegdge, that everything (almost) will be the same when I come home, that people are waiting for me to come and that I have so many friends in here waiting for me and wishing the best for me, will cheer me up. I might cry when I leave, but I will handle it in the UK a lot better than I did when I went there in March.

I know that coming home is the best feeling in the world. I guess it's the thing that makes travelling so exiting and enjoyable. Coming home.

I know where my heart is.

Glastonbury

2011-06-27T05:42:00.003+03:00

Oh my God! I'm gonna swear in the way that Americans swear now. I went to Glastonbury! I loved it! I want to go again!

My day started at 7:15 when I went to work to get the residents ready to go and get them into the van and go off. There were 3 residents and 3 carers, including me. Getting to the parking area in Glasto wasn't the easiest one, but after about an hour of struggling, we were in the disabled camp and had processed our tickets into wristbands. Then we loaded people off and started heading towards the main stage- Pyramid. It was a bit muddy and I had to push the only manual chair. Luckily there were two really nice lads who helped me to the disabled ramp near the stage. Aww, bless them. Then I waited for the two other residents to come to the ramp, because it took a bit more time for them to come as they didn't have the lads and they also thought I got lost. But we sorted it all out.
So.... The sun was shining, it was a lovely day. We had the meals and sorted everything out and then just enjoyed the music. I listened to Fisherman's Friends, The Low Anthem, Don McLean. When Don McLean got on the stage, I walked down to the stage and took a closer picture oh him. He played "American Pie" and I recorded it. Lovely! Absolutely lovely!
Then after the American Pie I was given some time to wander around so I decided to go the the stage named John Peel and see OK Go. Before they got on the stage I saw a little bit of the Joy Formidable, who were really powerful and loud.
Then. About OK Go! They are so cool!!! Although they didn't dance on the stage, their performance was magnificient. The sound was good, and they communicated with the audience a lot. They sang songs with us and asked us to sing along. The singer asked during the song "Here it goes again" if someone played guitar and then invited one guy on the stage, handed him his guitar and showed which chords to play and then the guy played with the band and the singer sang! It was so coool! And then after some more songs, the singer asked us to sing along to one of their songs and then got off the stage and stood on the barrier right in front of me and sang there and then he went swimming into the audience. I touched him- he was right above me. The swim didn't last long because there wasn't very many people so he got back to the stage quite soon. But it was just brilliant! I love Ok Go. And I got to see all their most famous songs! Ahhhh! I loved them!

After Ok Go finished, I went back to our place, although it took time, because it was mud everywhere. But it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

I saw Paul Simon and Plan B then after them, I saw Pendulum! Damn, they were good! I really liked them! I danced along to them.

And then in the evening I also saw Beyonce. I was stunned that I knew so many of her songs! But the show was great, she went and shook the hands of the people in the first row. And it was huge! 175 ooo people just watching her. It's almost 1/10 of Estonian population! And you could see it in front of you. Amazing.

I just got home about 2 hrs ago and now am staying up because I don't find much point in going to bed that late any more. I'm still going to Estonia in 4 hrs time! Ahhhh!
Brilliant!

I am so happy right now!
Glastonbury was just so cool, massive, muddy and a proper festival! Ahhhh! So so so unbelievable and cool. I've got loads of videos and nice pictures. My camera's battery died right before Beyonce came on the stage, but I don't mind. I will get the pictures from the internet.

Glastonbury is just amazing! I love it!

The past and the present and the future

2011-06-24T22:29:00.002+03:00

I had a nostalgic moment today when I looked at the old photos taken a little time before I came to UK.
It made me realise that I might have missed so many so great things. But life's like "Mr. Nobody" movie. You just choose one path. You can never know what could have happened.
Still, it's nice to have the past that I have. Although it would be sometimes nice to know where I'd be now if I hadn't come to UK.
I guess I might figure some things out when I go home.
Remembering the past is always important.
It just sometimes makes me sad that certain things have passed and will never come back. That some things will never be the same.

But well.
I hope I've made the right decisions in my life so far and that I will continue making them.

I can't wait to go home. To see my friends and family.
2 more days to go.

This week has been crazy busy- work, POVA training, guitar singalong, leisure centre, moving. I'll go to Bristol tomorrow, Glastonbury on Sunday.

Still, sometimes I try to imagine my life in Estonia. I look through the window that my friends sent me in post and try to be back. But sometimes I feel like I've forgotten things. The way things smell, look like.

Life in Estonia seems like some surreal, distant thing.
I guess when I'll be in Estonia, then life in here seems to be some dream that I've had for a long time.

I hope I haven't changed too much in those past 4 months.

My new home

2011-06-22T02:24:00.002+03:00

I've not completely settled myself in, in my new apartement. It's lovely. I don't feel like living in a guesthouse anymore. It's not a perfect 5-star hotel-style place and I love it. The floor has got some candle wax dripped on it, the walls aren't the cleanest, there are spiderwebs all over the place (or were, now I got rid of them- revenge from to spiders?). The toaster doesn't work perfectly- it burns the toast from one side. I can't have a shower, only bath, because from the shower there comes only cold water. It's not all renovated. And it's a bit messy, just like a home should be. I don't have to worry about people coming to my room, I don't hear people being hoisted at 8am on Saturday. I have wifi in here.
And still, the best of all- I have a kitchen! And I've tried it out. I made pasta with spinach and cheese on Sunday. Absolutely brilliant. And I have two apartement-mates who are talkative.

I can say that I'm a lot happier now that I've moved away from the St. Michael's home. The gatehouse lodge is cosy. All the tiny not-properly-working things that I have here, make the place home.

Home is a place that's not perfect. It has it's own faulties and mistakes. But that's what makes a home a home. It's not supposed to be for showing, it's supposed to be for living.

And I can burn candles here!

Format C:

2011-06-20T22:23:00.003+03:00

Yeah, exactly.

I have no idea what happened but I tried to get some guitar chords yesterday from the internet and then all of a sudden my computer told me that it can't get any information from my hard drive. What's more beautiful- my hard drive failed. Hmmm. Lovely.
So I had no other option than to just do format C: and load everything on again. The problem is- I don't have a good internet at the moment. So... I can't download all the programs I had. I'm hoping to do it tomorrow evening, but who knows.
It's quite a perfect time for my computer to fail like this- I just had to do some guitar stuff in here and now I can't do it. But the good side of it is that my in the bigger plan my computer will be working well again and I am just going home from where I can bring all the CD's with the programs I left home. So that's good.

But it's still annoying.

I'm a visitor in my own home.

2011-06-19T18:12:00.001+03:00

I had a dream last night. I didn't want to wake up.
I had just arrived home but somehow it was also the village and my sis had just told me hello, and then all the volunteers in the village came into my room to say hi to me. I hugged everybody and then told I had just had amazing time with my friends and that I was so glad to see all of them. And then we went to the river to have a swim. Naked swim. All in the moonlight. It was so beautiful and lovely.

I can't wait to visit home. 8 days left.

Royal Ascot

2011-06-18T12:00:00.004+03:00

On Wednesday I went to Royal Ascot which is a horseracing event and it's a very posh one. All the ladies have to wear dresses and ridiculous hats. I didn't wear a hat- I had only some shiny flower-jewellery in my hair. It's the event where the queen goes and people will have the possibility to see her driving past them in the carriage in the beginning of the day.

When we arrived there, we were a bit late and until we got through the ticket barriers the queen had already started to drive with the carriage. So I basically ran uphill while pushing the wheelchair and managed to get through the crowd and saw a her. Waving at us. I also saw other Royalties but can't recognize them.

The race was great. We had fun betting on the horses. Everybody won around 14 pounds, except me. Hmmm. Why am I not suprised? I never win. How come am I not lucky with love then?? Isn't it supposed to be that when you're not lucky in gambling, you're lucky in love....

Anyway. It was showering once in a while and it was pretty chilly day. But we all enjoyed it- had some fish and chips. It was a nice day out.

I also saw some funny hats and some really nice ones. And the dresses. In some cases British women have a very good taste in dressing up, but in loads of cases it's just disgusting. Big ladies wearing very tight dresses, no tights. You can see everything. And the dresses are short..... It's just ugly. But well- what can I say- welcome to UK- a country of mind freedom!

Loads of changes

2011-06-17T00:08:00.002+03:00

I've got no EVS co-volunteer anymore. Since today.

I was at the Royal Ascot yesterday and then one of my co-workers asked if I knew about Gaye leaving. I didn't have a clue.
I asked in the evening from Gaye if she was planning to move the houses (LCD houses) and she told it was so quick and that she wants to change and will find out about it today.

Then today in the daytime my manager came to me and told that Gaye is packing and will go away today because of what she had said about the house and the management and the staff and that she could no longer work here.

It was quite a shock to me. I mean- being lonely up in our apartement-area again? I'd die of loneliness there.
So I told it to my manager and she organized me to go to live 100m away from the house in the gatehouse lodge, where lives one Hungarian girl Timea who's working in Physio over there.
So probably on Sunday I will move to this house. I think it will be a good change for me- I mean, there's a kitchen, it's more private, I don'd feel like I'm at work constantly. And also- my housemate is extroverted and I think that from now on things will get better for me. And I will be happier here. Although I was quite satisfied with my project already, I wasn't happy enough and was cradelling for friends to go out with. So I hope I will have one now. And I will be able to cook!
The management also told me that they will pay my leisure centre monthly fee from now on because I do quite many extra hours. Well, that sounds good. I don't mind doing extra hours anyway but well, if I don't have to pay for my leisure centre, I will be able to do more things in here, which is only good.

But about Gaye- I'm really shocked they kicked her out so quickly. She might be going home tomorrow already. It's crazy. I feel now a bit that if I do anything wrong, I might go as well.
I just have to be very very careful in here.

But yeah, at the moment I'm in shock and can't understand completely what's going on and it's all too new and fresh, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed that Gaye will just go to another home and won't have to go home and that my life in here will be better from now on.

And besides all that...
I will go to Bristol on Saturday, beer festival tomorrow evening, will have POVA training next Thursday, will play guitar next Friday, Glastonbury fest on Sunday and then..... HOME!!!
I can't wait to be back in Estonia. It's already almost there. Estonia! Home! Sauna! Kohuke! Swimming in a lake/pond/river! Barbecues! Friends! Work! Family! Estonia! Aaaahhhhh! If time only went faster!

I really need that visit home. I truly need. Especially after what has happened during the last week.

Ireland

2011-06-16T22:52:00.006+03:00

I'm starting this post at the moment in Galway, where I'm doing CS right now. It's rainy and we couldn't go to see the town, but we had a nice time yesterday.
So. To start from the very beginning.

Planning my trip was so damn complicated this time. I am travelling with a companion, which means that I had to take his wishes into account during my trip. When we were planning our accommodation, we couldn't find a place to stay until 2 days before taking off. I was already ready to sleep in the coach station and my companion wasn't exactly happy about it. So we had a big fight two days before our trip even started. But... We managed to find a place and everything went well..

So. On Thursday morning I packed my stuff so that I could drive with my bicycle to Winscombe straight after work. I got there in time and left my bike to Pam's place (a friend of mine). Then I headed to the airport by bus and went through all the gates and went on the plane to Dublin. The flight was quick and landing was rough. Nothing too bad, but just a bit bumpy.
I met my travelling companion in Dublin airport because he came with a different flight. We took a coach to city central. Over there I wanted to have the first pint of Guinness so we went to one pub which had lovely local music and stayed there for a little while. After the Guinness we decided to go to our hosts' place. My companion (lets name him A) had an app downloaded into his iPhone which was supposed to be GPS. But it didn't work very well so we ended up in the wrong places and got to our CS place pretty late. We stayed at one couple's place and they thought we were also a couple so we had to sleep in the same bed quite tight next to each other. Well.... We managed to do it and then the following day after a little chat with our host, we took off to see the city. We went to some park which had nice war memorials and statues. I really loved the park. It was green and a bit wild and the statues were also green because of the acid rains. After the park we went to National History museum and Natural History Museums and then had a brief look into Trinity College. It was very big and I quite liked it. While walking around on the grounds of the college you could feel the power of education. After the Trinity College we had a look into local tourism information centre to find out our the bus stop from where we were supposed to go to Galway the following day. We also walked past the Dublin Castle and then went into a mexican food restaurant where we had some burritos and then had a look into the Dublin Castle. Unfortunately to get into it, we would have had to pay the admission fee, so we didn't go inside. But.... After the Dublin Castle we went to a shopping centre and bought stuff for the cooking in the evening. I found Estonian Kiss Cider from one shops! Although it was pear cider, I bought it, because Estonian cider is a lot nicer than the local one. After we got all the stuff for the supper, we went back to our host's place where A had a little bit of sleep, because he was shattered and I just chatted to our host. It was a nice talk, mostly about traditional food, because she was from Spain and her mate was from Poland. So we talked a lot about our cuisines. Then A got up and started making Indian food which was really delicious. Ah, yeah, from that day I could tell that never trust GPS- the usual map on the paper is a lot better. I was the map reader on that day and we didn't get lost on that day. So yeah.... Paper maps rule! In the evening we went to sleep a bit earlier than the previous day because we had to take off early in the morning.

Now I'm back at home and will continue this post.

So... On Saturday we had an early morning because our coach to Galway took off from the central of Dublin at 7am. The bus journey was approximately 2,5hrs long and I tried to sleep during it. A slept during most of the trip. When we got to Galway we had a small guided tour in the city. From the very first moment I got to Galway, I fell in love with the place. It's so beautiful over there. I definetely want to live there for couple of months. In Galway we saw the local market, St. Nicholas' Church, Jane Eyre Square and the local mall. In the church we discovered that there is a memorial on the wall for Jane Eyre and Richard. Those names were also the same in the book, although the book was about different things, supposedly. Well, you can never know if it is a damn lovely coincidence or the names in the book are based on those people. Galway is a little city, with the population of about 80 000. It is an university city, so there are loads of students. I also found out that they have a small Estonian community over there- about 200 Estonians. Didn't spot any of them during my stay in there, though... In Galway there is also a shopping mall which has the ancient city wall inside it. The people who wanted to build the mall, wanted to take the wall down but the locals didn't allow this to happen, so the shopping centre was built around it. Fascinating. I loved it anyway.... After a little tour in Galway we got on the bus and started our tour to Burren and The Cliffs of Moher. Well, what can I say? The pictures I took won't describe the place even the tiniest bit. It was unbelievable! So beautiful! Rocks everywhere and big hills covered in rocks. Sea (or actually ocean), seaweed, stones, tiny old churches, limestone fences. And the Cliffs of Moher... Well, they were just too beautiful to be true. They were huge, 200 m high and 8km long altogether. We also saw some tombs and a leprechaun head coming out from a stone wall. I absolutely enjoyed our tour around in the area. I was just looking out of the bus window when we were driving, all the time with my mouth wide open. And the weather was on our side- it was sunny and warm, not too hot, not too windy. Absolutely brilliant! I definetely want to live in the place. In the evening when we got back to Galway we met our host and discovered he's hosting 8 other CS. We had a quick meal in the city and then walked to his place which wasn't too far away from the central. And then we talked there and some of our host's friends came over. We drank a bit wine and waited for the other CS to get back to the host's place. There were 3 french-canadian guys, 4 american girls and 1 british guy. We talked, listened to music and drank some wine and beer and then me, A and our host and his friends went to a local pub. By the evening of my second day with A, I was completely irritated by him and just wanted to escape from him. He was such a lady, complaining and being very sensitive over everything I did and tried to pick a fight with me all the time. He insulted me all the time and was so egoistic and never listened to anyone. Worst character ever I have met. Seriously. He was such a bitch that I had to be a bitch also and it made me feel so bad because I had to behave the way I usually don't do. Anyway, in the evening he tried to meet different ladies and one started to get glued to him so he wanted me and our host to get rid of her. Obviously we didn't deal with his mess and instead of helping him, we left the pub and went back to host's home. When we told A that we're not gonna help him, he was just trying to create mess with me, trying to glue someone to me, but it didn't work out. He also told me that I am his friend and supposed to help him when he's in trouble. In my opinion he wasn't in trouble and I was in no way going to clear up his mess. Especially after the attitude he had developed towards me.

On Sunday morning we slept quite late and had a very lazy day. We cooked hummus and onion-leek soup and bread and just ate, talked, relaxed, listened to some music. And most of the CS's had a nap during the day. I didn't and talked to the people who stayed up and just spent a little bit of time in the internet. The british guy was studying in Germany with the American girls and he sang in a choir and studied archaeolody and history. We had a nice time chatting over choir music. In the evening we went for a walk with some of the people when they got up and went to the bay to see the ocean. As the day was quite rainy, we didn't see very far and got a bit wet, but I didn't mind. It was a nice walk out. We stayed out for about 2hrs. Then we got back to the house and went away again to go to petrol station with the purpose of getting something to drink. But it was closed... And besides that... You can't get any alcohol from Irish shops after 10 in the evening. I had already forgotten we had the same rule in Estonia. Anyway... We went back to the house where the american girls were dancing like crazy and later that night we played some Mafia card game that A lead and I was once the murderer in the game and won the game. It was quite hard to maintain my secrecy about being a murderer, but I managed to do it. The game required a lot of attention and thinking and my brain was on fire for some hours. I really loved it. And besides, I got to use my psychology skills which seemed to work our well, because all my assumptions turned out to be right in most cases. After playing the game for a while we went to sleep because everybody were tired, despite the fact that we had had a lazy day.

On Monday morning we didn't get up as early as we planned to. Me and A were thinking about going to the Guinness factory in Dublin on that day but as we were too tired, we slept couple of more hours and explored a bit more of Galway. We had some arguments during those couple of hours we had a look around in the city and finally decided to go to Dublin with different buses. So we both headed our own way. I explored a bit more of Galway and decided I will go and live there in the future.
I went to Dublin with local coach and almost felt like a local person. I love the fact that when I travel around my way, I don't feel like a tourist very much. It's nice to see the places from the point of view of a local person. Anyway, my coach to Dublin went straight to the airport and over there it took a while to get through the security and then I had a little bit of time to wander around. I got myself an Irish whistle and made a promise to go back to Galway in the future. And then I took off from Dublin. I slept during most of the flight and when I got off the plane in Bristol it was so fast that 5mins later I was on the bus towards Winscombe where my bicycle was waiting for me. I got home tired and knackered and had a big argument with A in the internet. I have really never met a person more rude and with such complicated and egoistic personality as was his. He was also completely narrow-minded and seemed to find some satisfaction in trying to piss me off. Because he started all the time all over again about the fact that I was ready to sacrifice my comfort to drinking and having fun- if we hadn't found a couch to stay in Galway I would have just gone to a local pub and then to bus station to sleep there for couple of hours. Nothing dangerous about it, but the guy though I'm crazy and went on and on about this. I mean- I was on a budget and wanted to enjoy my trip as much as possible. And staying in the coach station wouldn't have been that bad.
But well, he was a lady-like man who wanted to spend money on expensive hostels. And he didn't understand I was on a budget. That much....

But. Besides my crap travelling companion I had an amazing time in Ireland, fell in love with the country and met loads of amazing and interesting people.
I will definetely live there for a little while. Or travel around there for at least a month. It's a promise.
Fingers crossed.

The drama with the birds

2011-06-03T20:01:00.002+03:00

Yesterday evening when I came back from leisure centre, I heard a creeping voice from the wall of my room. I thought that there might be a mouse stuck somewhere. Then I forgot about it.
But I was forced to remember it again today morning at 5am when the creature inside my wall started making noise and moving around. No sleep any more. Then I finally managed to fall asleep again and when I woke up I thought I had dreamed everything. But no. I heard the voice again.

So I let the management know about the problem and they called a man who had a look into the chimney and told me it must be a bird. And that they have to take the wall down.
They didn't take it down today, but will do it on Monday. Which means that I will have a great lack of sleep this weekend (not that I'm not going to have it anyway) and will hear a bird dying in the wall of my room.
At the moment my bed is moved away from this wall so my room has been kind of refurnished and looks weird. There is no point in vacuuming it because on Monday it will look awful. Some people are going to break into the chimney from my room and clean it (because apparently there is a big bird nest on top of the chimney and some pieces of it have fallen down, including the bird). So it will all be dusty and I guess starting from Monday, I will have a big whole in my room.
And I'm gonna have to clean my room very much on Monday evening.

Sounds pretty good, doesn't it?

But something sweet now- one of the residents who I assist a lot during meals misunderstood something and thought for 15mins that I was going home on Monday. Going for eternity. So he asked me with a very sad look and when I told that I'm not going anywhere before the next February, he looked a lot happier. I also told him that he can't get rid of me that easily and fast. He looked relieved.

Awwwwww.

Being lazy and counting the days

2011-05-29T13:36:00.002+03:00

My this weeks has been one of the hardest ones so far. I miss home so much and I could have never imagined it to be this difficult. I am counting the days 'til I come home.
Until then I have a pretty busy timetable for my free days and a lot of things to do- G will come here, trip to Ireland, escortings on Royal Ascot and Glastonbury etc.
This week was really hard also because I had some trouble with one of the residents. I didn't do anything wrong so everything is solved now, but it still affected me.
My Friday evening was pretty good and spontaneous- I went to Zumba class and saw the girl that I had met earlier in the class and she introduced me to some local people and we went out to a pub straight after our class ended. It was really nice- I went to a local pub for the first time and hopefully will go again today. It's nice to get to know local people- I have the feeling that from now on my life in here will be more interesting and I will have the chance to go out more often. Which is really nice.
My weekend has been very lazy so far- I planned to cycle to Weston and back but it didn't work out as the weather is quite cold and it looks like it's going to rain any minute. So it's better not to take the risk. So... I have written some letters, skype'd with people, wathed TV and just slept. I haven't had this lazy time for ages now so it's really good. I've also planned my Irish trip with Marwan. If everything will go well, we'll go hiking. But we'll see.
Anyway.
I'm still counting the days for my Estonian trip. I really want to see my friends and family and work again. I really really need to see them. And enjoy some good warm weather as well.

Irritation

2011-05-23T22:57:00.003+03:00

That's exactly how I feel right now. Despite the fact I had a lovely weekend. Despite the fact I'm tired. Even though I take everything that could bring be down into account, I'm still irritated.
The reason for that was today.
The morning started off and then I went to ask one of the workers in here (who I have to ask usually) if G can come for a visit the next weekend. Well, in the beginning this person assumed that it was a "she" because I didn't tell the name. Then I told that a person visiting me was a "he" and then I received a question whether G will be sleeping in my room. I told that of course- he's my visitor and I have the only spare bed in my room anyway. Then the person had a bit of a laughy look that was obviously all about "I know what you're gonna do there" and "This place is not for such things as well". I mean, what's the difference what gender my visitors will be?! I have the spare bed and we're allowed to have visitors! This attitude or the expression the person had, made me really angry for almost the whole day. I mean, am I supposed to have only female friends? Or am I allowed to have only female visitors in here? Where should I see my friends then if I can't do it here? Or if I will receive such expressions. And besides, it's still my personal life and such weird expressions aren't very professional and appropriate.
And I mean- G won't disturb anyone in here. He's not allowed to go anywhere else than just our flat area. And it's our flat area! Aren't we then allowed to be visited by our male friends? Do we have to sort our visitors? (I mean health and safety comes first, but still- we are also living in here).

Then also. Today some firemen were supposed to come and have a look around in the building and we were told 1,5 hrs earlier that they will come to our flat area as well. I didn't mind as I though I will not be there anyway. But I just got back from my step lesson and had a shower and then I was warned not to come out of the shower room because there were loads of men walking around in our corridors. It was nice to be warned. But when they started going away, I was told that too. Nice thing that I was told but then the firemen started making weird comments through the door and made jokes like I will open the door now and pushed down the handle. Very proffessional. And it's our home!
We basically are supposed to have privacy but sometimes our co-workers knock on our doors if they need us or something like that. I mean in most cases it's really friendly, but it feels like everybody can walk around in our apartement all the time. Although they don't do it, our home doesn't feel like home. And well. To just go to internet, it's better to look more official and not to come downstairs with pyjamas on. Well, we can, but it's not professional.
So we can relax only when we are in our rooms where there isn't always very much to do as there's no internet and I don't watch TV.
I don't feel so much in home in here.
All our life and things we do are controlled by rules. I can't even burn a bloody candle in my room. I can't use the water from the pipes because its not very healthy but I have to go downstairs to get water to drink. And for this I have to dress up.
I guess I'm just too tired. Tomorrow will be a better day. I hope.
Just never mind.
The project is brilliant and the place is nice and the people in here are giving their best for us to have a nice time in here.

But it's still very strict.
And our managers are really strict. I kind of fear them even. I fear that I make some mistakes and will be treated as a naughty child.
I really miss my Estonian co-workers. They were a lot more supportive and friendly. (Most of the staff is very friendly in here, but it's just some people). The fear of being judged all the time in here is really keeping me back. Some encouraging words from our managers would be really nice (I know that their job is hard and they have to be very strict, but we're still overseas volunteers who live here- they get to go home, we don't!).

Enough. I'm tired.

I definetely attract weird people.

2011-05-23T22:50:00.003+03:00

Time to continue the posts about my travels around in the country that's full of surprises.
This time I went to Birmingham. I can say that a lot of interesting things happened, met loads of cool and also creepy people. Had a great time.
But to start off.
I planned to cycle to Weston on Friday to catch a bus to Bristol where I wanted to change the coach to Birmingham. Well, I got a lift to Weston and then discovered that a single ticket to Bristol is 6 pounds. Hmmm. The daily ticket is 7. Blimey.
Anyway I got to Birmingham at 10 and Teele came to the coach station the greet me. We then went to her place, dropped my stuff there and headed to a pub around the corner. We spent some time discussing about the british girls and their awful dressing style and then went to get another beers. Suddenly a guy next to me started talking to me. He was a personal trainer and I don't remember why but at one moment he started telling me he was mad because he had epilepsy. Well... I told him of course that he's not. Then we continued talking and the guy started to make compliments to me and asked me to kiss him etc. I refused. Teele was at the same time talking to the guy's friend who was very cute and friendly. When the pub was closed we all went out together. The guy had 2 other friends also and the situation seemed a bit creepy to me. The guys were pretty drunk and this new friend of mine continued snogging me even though I told him off in a very firm way. Anyway. When I walked a bit further from him he put his hands into his pants, stood for some seconds, took the hands out and walked on. That was the point where I decided the guy was a bit mad. He started to act weird and I couldn't get rid of him. Finally me and Teele managed to get away and went to her place to have some sleep.
The following day we went to the central of Birmingham to see the big and famous shopping centre. We also went to the market, where they sold almost everything. And for very cheap prizes. I got myself a hikers' style backpack for 10 pounds. And earrings for 1 pound. I really loved the place. After a little bit of walking around we headed back to Teele's place where she cooked pasta with spinach - oh that's definetely going to be now in my cooking list! It was really good and simple to do.
Teele was invited (and asked to take me with her as well) in the evening to a birthday party of one estonian guy living in Birmingham. So we went there. It was so great! I saw about 9 other Estonians alltogether, no other nationalities were represented! We had a barbecue, which means meat! Normal grilled meat! Estonian way! And then we also had pickled cucumbers and sour cream and salad and potatoes and russian vodka. It was so great! I really loved to food. It was weird to hear everybody speaking only Estonian in UK. Like a small Estonian community. I was so happy on that evening. Although most of the people seemed to have a mild accent already in their language, it was so cool. But the not so cool thing was that I discovered, that I'm thinking in English. When people apologised when they nudged me by mistake or something else (everybody apologize for everything in here) then I answered in English. Automatically. And when I woke up the following morning I asked Teele the first thing "What's the time?" in English and I also talked during the sleep in English.... Anyway. Back to the topic. I had probably one of the loveliest evenings in Britain so far on that evening.
Later at night we planned to go with Teele to a gay-club because we were told it's very nice and interesting to be there and Ott also joined us (he's a guy from my parallel-class who also lives in here now). But there were almost no people in the place so we just went to the same pub that we had been to the previous day.
And then we went back to Teele's place and went to sleep. In the morning we walked past some canals (some of them are built into the air above the road) and Teele and Ott sent me back to the coach station from where I went back to Bristol and then to Weston from where I cycled home.
It was a great weekend. I really enjoyed it!

Oh and my week was also very busy. I went escorting on a wheelyboat on Bristol canals and the following evening went to horseracing. The first one was wet and cold but the second one I loved. It was in the proper countryside and reminded me of Estonian open-air markets that are held during the summer for couple of days in different places. It was a bit homey.
And... I played some guitar with the residents as well. So... It's been a busy week. And lovely.

Couchsurfing, the most touristic tourist, the tube, cycling, museums, cuban pub = London

2011-05-16T22:38:00.012+03:00

I'm finally back from my first trip to London and can say that it was a brilliant trip.

So I'll start off from Thursday when my trip began.
I got a lift from Axbridge to Bristol with a friend of mine who I met in the leisure center. She took me straight to the bus stop in Bristol. What else can you want? Then I had a long journey (2,5hrs) to London. When I got there, I tried to find the tube station from where I was supposed to go to my host's place. It took me ages to figure out where I could get the oyster card so that my travels in the future would be cheaper. I finally managed that and got on the train to Pimlico, where my host lived. He had given me the directions previously, so following them, I got to his place amazingly well. I mean- I usually get lost even when there are directions given.
In my host's place we talked to each other until late hours and then discovered that it was so late and went to sleep.

The following morning started very early, because my host had to go to work, so I had to go around in the city. Which I didn't mind at all. I took my map with me and went to Leicester Square by tube. I was supposed to meet Teele a little bit before noon, so I had plenty of time to wander around in soho and chinatown. I also had a glimpse at the Trafalgar Square and then went back to soho area. There were so many tiny streets, and discovering them was so great. I felt like a local person, not like a bloody tourist. I met Teele around noon and went to National Geographic shop where she wanted to buy one bag but couldn't get it. So we headed towards the Trafalgar Square. On the square there was a guy climbing through a tennis racket. It was like a show you see in the movies- one person just starts to do something in the street and people gather around the person to see what's going on.
After the racket-man we headed towards the Buckingham Palace, from there to Big Ben. It was a lovely walk around in the central of London. We walked through the James's park and then were in front of the Parliament House. We listened to Big Ben playing, went to a Tesco that was right next to the clock (?!?!?! Tesco and Big Ben??) and then went to see the Westminster Abbey also. After that we took train to St. Paul's Cathedral, tried to go into it, but it had tickets, and then had a meal in the garden of St. Paul. After that we decided to walk to the Tower. It took us about 45mins. We made many stops during our journey. Talked to people, watched tourists, observed one very lovely market. Our main aim was to see London a bit differently from the usual tourist's point of view. It worked well. After observing the Tower we went back to Leicester Square and walked around in chinatown, soho. Just discovered small streets. Entered into a sex shop where were only men inside and to a gay sex shop with just the idea of doing something fun. I went to McDonald's for the first time in England and after many years. I still didn't like their hamburger. In here it's even worse than in Estonia. After Teele left to go home, I headed back to my host's place where I talked to him a lot, we drank cuba libre and then discovered it was already too late to go out. So we went to sleep.

The following day I decided to cycle around in London. I hired a bike from one of the Barclay's Cycle Hire points and started driving towards The National History museum. Obviously, I made it with some circles and ended up in Hyde park which is behind the museum. Well. That's me- always taking circles to reach my destination. It is not difficult to cycle around in London at all. The traffic is not that bad. And it's more fresh air while cycling than in the tube.
I had a snack in Hyde park and then went to the Science and Natural History museums where I spent almost the whole day. I'm not going to describe all the things I saw there because it would be just too much. But... I will upload pictures instead.
After those two museums I also popped into Victoria and Albert museum to see the crown jewels. The museum wasn't my plan in the beginning but I thought that as I was already walking past it, I might as well go into it. Didn't spend much time there, though. It will be a place to visit the next time I go to London. After the museum I went to Harrods. Well. I don't like the place at all. It's so ridiculously expensive there and you can't walk around because it's full of people and tourists. I wanted to get out of there 5 minutes after I got there but didn't find the escape so after 30 mins of walking around I finally managed to find the place from where I entered. It was mostly because of the tourists.
After Harrods I returned to Hyde park where I had some snacks and just gave some rest for my feet that were hurting already for the second day. Then I cycled to Victoria Station from where I decided to wander back to my host's place. Discovering London is always fun!
In my host's place we talked a little and then headed out to pub. I suggested on walking and discovering the London at night. I absolutely loved seeing Big Ben, the Houses of Parliament and The Eye at night. They are so magically beautiful. I really loved them! Took loads of pictures, most of them turned out very foggy and not with the high quality, because it was still dark outside. After a 45 minute walk we finally got to one Cuban pub and had some beers there. There was live Cuban music and we danced a lot. The road to home was very very "interesting". I mean, we weren't drunk at all, but we were just "teasing" each other all the way.
After getting home I went straight to sleep because I was so tired.

The following morning I cooked some sweet eggy bread. Oh, that was something I had missed. The Estonian kind of food! After eating we went to the National Gallery in Trafalgar Square. I saw some paintings of Van Gogh! They were so pretty! I also fell in love with Renoir's work. It's got such great colours and technique. We spent in the museum very much time so we didn't have time to go to British Museum (which was in the plan in the beginning). Will do it the next time. After the museum we had a dinner out in nice Chinese Restaurant and then headed back to the Victoria Coach station because I had to catch my bus back to Bristol. We struggled a bit with finding the right bus stop because the station is huge, but when I finally got on the bus, I just slept during the whole journey because I was so shattered and my legs were hurting. I got a lift back to Axbridge with my friend and after coming here I just checked my mail and went straight to sleep.

It was a brilliant trip out. I played a bloody tourist in my way (doing it mostly on my own, with a detailed plan) and had some fun and discovered the parts of London that most of the tourists don't get to see! I can say that London is a place to go out for a while, but I wouldn't like to live there. Too many tourists.

But.
In conclusion: I can now show people around in London and recommend ways to be a tourist over there in a cheap way.

Activities

2011-05-10T23:33:00.002+03:00

Today I was asked by my activities leader if I would be interested in doing the guitar-session with the residents as an activity and I agreed. So he put me into this months' and June's timetable once for both months.
I have my own activity!

And today when I was in the gym I asked one of my gym-friends if I could leave my bicycle to her place when I go to London, she told me she will take me to Bristol from her place and back because she will be going to there anyway around the same time. Oh, that sounds good. The money I will save from avoiding buying those tickets will give me an opportunity to book a flight to Dublin for the beginning of June. If the ticket prizes are still the same tomorrow evening, I will get myself a flight to Dublin!
How cool is that?!

In desperate need of friends.

2011-05-08T23:02:00.003+03:00

I have started to feel kind of lonely in here during the past few weeks. Though I have Gaye in here, it feels lonely.
We are two completely different people. I like to go out to pubs, she likes it too. But she doesn't want to do it here. When I want to have a drink in the evening, then she's not that much into it. That's really sad. I've got no-one in here to go out with. Locally. Because going to further places is expensive and the buses don't run on proper times. And I haven't met people yet, at whose place I could stay overnight. So yes, I have no-one to go out with in the evenings.
Gaye has started to hang around with the other Turkish volunteer since our on-arrival, so in the weekends she has other plans. We don't travel together very much, so I have to do it alone in most cases. I've tried to ask her to come along to some of my journeys, but she hasn't been interested. So I do it on my own mostly.
We talk in the evenings and talk almost about everything, but it still doesn't feel like it. We are too different. I go to leisure centre in the evenings and she goes jogging sometimes. I cycle way too fast for her and she's not that much into cycling.
It's nice to have some company and without her I would definetely be struggling in here, but she's got the other Turkish girl to hang out with and I've got no-one. Or well, I've got my friends who are all located very far away and it's expensive to see them.
We don't talk much with Gaye. Just stay in the IT room to catch up with people or watch things from our computers. We have completely different interests. I want to travel and go sightseeing and not waste too big amounts of money on pointless things. She's not that much into that. She's more spontaneous about money than I am.

I have friends in here, but I spend too much time alone. I shouldn't complain, but I just feel lonely. It would be really nice to have someone in here, like I have people in Estonia. Even one of them would be useful.

I've met loads of people during my stay in here, but they are all mostly just passing through my life. I just meet them once and that's it.

Until I'm at work and busy with everything, it's ok. But in the evenings I would really like to have someone to visit, get away from work. Go to Axbridge. Go out for a drink.

I guess I just miss my friends in Estonia too much.

And here it is me, complaining about my life and at the same time telling everybody how great EVS is and recommending it to everybody.
It is great- it's just me. I'm used to people and good friends around me all the time. And I haven't seen many of my friends for a long time, so it has to have it's own influence on me sooner or later.

I'll just try to find some people to hang around here with and then it should pass.

I hope my London trip will make me feel better.

Sailing, we are sailing, home again, across the sea!

2011-05-07T23:07:00.003+03:00

As I have mentioned loads of times, one part of my job is to to escorting which means that I get to go out with residents as an assistant.
Well. Today was my biggest escorting trip so far. To be more specific- I went sailing.

My morning started very early. Around 5:30. I planned to wake up at 5am but obviously just turned off my alarm subconsciously and slept on. I was waken up by one of my co-workers who had come to check whether I am ready. She told me that everybody were waiting for me. I was told to be ready at 6, so I was really surprised by that. Anyway, I'm glad she woke me up. I could've slept in.
Within 10 minutes I was basically ready and downstairs where people were still taking the last things to the van and then we took off.

We got to Weymouth, the place where the ship was supposed to start sailing, earlier, so we had a morning tea. After that we got on the boat. It was raining. It seemed to become a wet day. But.... As the ship took off from the port, the rain stopped. And it got warmer. We had bacon butty on board for breakfast, practised emergency escaping and then had time to chill around. We were out with 3 residents. It was a really really lovely day out! Everybody enjoyed the whole day. We had the chance to pull the ropes to put the sails up and also had the possibility to steer the boat. It was really fun, we made jokes, laughed and enjoyed the day. Although we struggled a bit with wheelchairs because there wasn't much space to move around in the ship and manouvering was complicated, we gave our best and from the residents' expressions we read that they were enjoying the trip out completely. The people in the ship were all very friendly and helped us with the wheelchairs because some of them were really heavy and as the ship was swinging, it was difficult to control the chairs.
We had a very tasty dinner in the boat and some snacks and when we finally returned to the port, we saw one dolphin also.
By the time we got off the boat, it started raining again. During our trip, we had sun and clouds and it was mostly warm. British weather- you can never know and predict what's going on!
We got back home at 7pm, all shattered and the assistants wet (because we didn't have the waterproof covers that the wheelies had).

I can say that I enjoyed this trip out really much! Probably, if I hadn't been on this kind of trip with residents, it would have gotten boring after a while, because I wouldn't have had anything to do on the ship. But pushing the wheelchairs around the ship kept me busy. It was a perfect day! Brilliant idea! I can only say that our activities coordinator, who organized the trip for us, well- he's a bloody genius!

Unfortunately I am not allowed to upload some good pictures to here, because I'm on them with residents and it's against the confidentiality law to put up pictures of the people I work with. But I'll still put some really nice pictures that I have.

The Counterfeit Stones

2011-05-06T20:58:00.002+03:00

I did yesterday again some escorting. It came quite surprisingly- I only found out that I have a chance to go out with residents the previous afternoon.
So. This time I went to Taunton to see The Counterfeit Stones which, as you can assume from their name, are a tribute band to The Rolling Stones.
It was a lovely evening out. The band was very similar to the original Stones, as the people told me, so I tried to imagine myself back into 60's and 70's. They had the clothing from that age and haircuts. Mick Jagger-copy did all the weird dancing which made him look as if he was high on drugs. I really loved the person who was representing the quitarists, especially Brian Jones. He made Brian Jones look very hippy and careless person. Feminine. And he played out the roles of other guitarists after Brian Jones very well, too.

It was a great laugh, in between the songs there were videoclips about the new guitarist auditions after Brian's death etc. Although I didn't understand many of the jokes told during the show because they were in British Humour and told too fast for my brain to process them properly, I enjoyed the show. The music was good, the people were clapping and dancing.
A nice evening out.

Today I played guitar for the residents as there was nothing planned for the afternoon in the activities. So I suggested on the guitar and the people were more than happy for the idea. The residents sang along to my poor playing and singing and told me that I should do it some time in the future again.

I will. That's my plan.

And I've got some more plans to make real in here. But. There's no point in spilling the bean. When something's going on, I'll let you know.

Sailing tomorrow.

Estonian culture introduction, snakes, rats, The Royal Wedding, Cardiff, owls

2011-05-03T23:24:00.004+03:00

Sorry, I haven't written for a while. Life has just been too busy for me to have time to sit down and write something. But I'll try to correct my mistake now.

Firstly, I'd like to say that I finally made the presentation about Estonia in here and Gaye introduced her culture, too. We showed some videos, talked a little bit about our culture, showed some pictures. It was really nice to see most of the residents in front of me and talk to them. The audience was also different from my usual audiences, because everybody were in wheelchairs. But, it added it's own magic to the thing. After the presentation all the people had the possibility to try out some Estonian candies and chocolates and of course- Vana Tallinn. Everybody loved the chocolates! And well, Vana Tallinn went well, too, though there was half a bottle still left because the employees aren't allowed to try it during their working hours.
After our presentation the head of activities used the chance that all the residents were together in the same room and organized a meeting of activities where all the people decided about things they wanted to do this summer season and places they wanted to visit. There were so many different and fascinating places and it's quite likely that me or Gaye will be escorting on many of those trips out.

Then there was the weekend when we cycled to Weston and I got a sunburn. On Monday there was no internet the whole day and as the evening was really beautiful and sunny, I decided to cycle to Banwell and back (halfway to Weston). But when I got to Banwell I changed my mind and cycled to Weston and back instead. When I got back I found out that I had cycled about 19 miles in 1,5hrs. Pretty well, I'd say. And I wasn't shattered at all (I'm not going to use the word nakkered any more, because now I know where it comes from and it's not the situation to use the word :) )!

On Tuesday we had some visitors coming in to show us exotic animals. We saw snakes, big white rats, crabs and some more animals. We also had a possibility to touch them! I held a snake for the first time! And to my surprise, most of the people touched the snakes and rats. They weren't frightened at all! In Estonia, most of the people would scream and run away if they see those animals, I suppose. But. Again I discovered how much I love rats and all animals that most of the people consider as disgusting. I would really like to have a big, white rat. I got to hold one for a while and it felt so great. I really would like to have a rat as pet in the future. A big rat :)

As the week went on, the another bank holiday arrived. It was The Royal Wedding. In here, it was a bank holiday. I decided to work on that day. We decorated the dining room with lots of UK flags and the tablecloth was changed from blue-white combination into red-white combination. We had red-blue-white balloons on the tables and a big telly where we could watch the wedding. During all day it was turned on and the residents and workers watched the wedding altogether. After the kissing scene we had a buffet table and could eat different foods, which were really delicious. And we had huge-looking cupcakes too. For the residents and their families we had champagne, also. Everybody were dressed very politely and looked schick. Although I'm not much into The Royal Family and the wedding stuff and the way it was turned into such commercial thing, I loved the day, because everybody were so happy, doing things together, there was a different day from the usual ones and the environment was so cosy and happy.

In the evening me and our head of IT cycled to Weston. He cycled to home and I left my bike to his place to continue my journey to Cardiff. I got there earlier than I thought I would be, so me and G went to many pubs and enjoyed local ale. Visiting G is always very inspirational- he is so intelligent and always has opinion on everything. And he knows a lot about his work so every time I see him, I learn a lot about work. On Saturday I had the chance to cook pea soup and as I had not had a proper meal with proper amount of salt in it for a while, I put too much salt into the soup. Or at least G thought so. I liked the soup, so never mind. It was really nice to be lazy and do pracically nothing in G-s place. We were both very lazy. Watched telly and talked and drank some beers. On Sunday G cooked some really delicous prawn and taught me how to play one simple race game in playstation. I hadn't tried playstation since I was 5 years old. I was very much of a beginner and G was rocking the games. I can't understand how he remembers all the buttons of the more difficult games. Too complicated for me. But for him it's useful. In the evening G had to go to work so I stayed at his apartement in the evening and for the night alone. Watched some TV, cleaned the mess we had created and then went to sleep. The following morning I went to see Cardiff on my own. Again, I was acknowledged by myself that my sense of directions is awful. I managed to go to Cardiff Bay in some weird way past some canals where people were fishing and tenting. Even G didn't know which route I had taken. Brilliant! But typically to me- I reached my destination with taking the longer and more dangerous route without getting truly lost.
In the bay I enjoyed the sunshine, ate a whippy ice cream with the flake and walked around. I fell in love with the Millennium Centre, which in my opinion is very beautiful piece of architecture. From one angle it seems so massive and powerful and heavy and from the another angle it seems light and beautiful and just brilliant. And the text written above it's main entrance "In these stones horizons sing" is very ancient and lovely in my opinion. I also enjoyed the waterfront and the Roald Dahl Plass and it reminded me a lot the ceries produced by BBC Cymru- Doctor Who! The magical feeling that surrounded the plass because of tose series gives the place a witchraft and wizardry feeling. On the Bay there is also a memorial of one actor who plays in Torchwood- a series parallel to Dr. Who. It's a wall where all the fans write their messages about the actor.
During my stay in the Bay I saw also part of 5mile marathon.
After being in the bay I wandered back to the central of Cardiff where I walked around trying to figure out which way to go to get to G-s place. Me and my sense of directions! Anyway, I finally ended up in front of the Cardiff National Museum and decided to go in. It was a great decision. In it there was a police box- a proper Tardis! I was stunned when I saw it- so beautiful, tiny, blue and familiar! I took some pictures of it. Then I decided to have a look around in the museum- the exhibitions were built up mainly in two rooms- one about humans and their life from the early ages until nowadays and the other was about nature and animals. I saw the skeletons of mammoths, dinosaurs, I saw metheorites, fossiles. I now definetely want to go to the History Museum in London next week.
After my visit to the museum, I met G and we went to his place where we just talked and discussed our work and things I have learn during my stay in here and had very intelligent conversations. Oh, if he only lived closer- I would learn so much from him! I can say that he is one of my inspirations to do my work the best way possible. To educate myself and travel the world in order to improve my work. I have never met a person like him. He changes the world with everything he does.

In the evening G sent me to the train station and I catched the train back to Weston. In the beginning of the journey one extremely loud boy sat next to me and his mom behind me. The boy was fidgeting around and making loud noise all the time and his mom tried to calm him down in a very rigid way. The boy tried to communicate with me. Then I realized he had a mental disability. Although his mom told him to stop annoying me (which he actually didn't, I didn't mind) he continued. I showed him my locket and he was really fascinated by it. I tried to talk to him and calm him down a bit and he sat next to me and watched my locket. He got off in the next stop and before going away, he hugged me! I really love this kind of situations. I really do! They make me so happy! And I know I made someone happy for a small amount of time, too!
When I got back to Weston I collected my bike and cycled home. It took me a while because the find was straight to my face and was blowing my brains off.

Today we had some owls in our place and we got to touch them. I also found out how to drain the leg bags, so I feel that this day filled it's purpose 100%.

At the momen't I've got some things to organize about my trip next weekend and this weekend so I will finish my post. But..... I can tell, that my life in here is something amazing and I really love it. It's a great experience and I try to learn from this opportunity as much as possible. And I will try to make some more connections to local people starting from this week.

I'm the only one who can make this project be the best thing that has happened to me so far. It doesn't matter how much the other try- I have to accept everything offered and give the most from me to the project to make it work. It has worked well already since the beginning but I'm taking it now the next level. Hit the gas, I'd say!

First sunburn of the year- check :)

2011-04-24T17:59:00.002+03:00

Me and Gaye decided to cycle to Weston and back yesterday. It was altogether around 22 miles. So. It was a hot and sunny day and I wanted to go to beach and Gaye wanted to go shopping around in the city.
We started off at around 930 am and got to Weston suburbs at 11 am. Then Gaye went to one shop and I headed to the beach. Or that was my intention. But I got lost and drove a circle around the city. So it added 2-3 miles to my yourney definetely.
When I finally got to the pier and parked my bike, the place was crowded. Of course- the Easter holidays and the children are also off from school for 2 weeks already. And the day was sunny- so why not to come out to the beach? Anyway. I found my place on the sand and stayed there for 3 hrs. Gaye came sometime during my stay in the beach and we had a picnic and then she headed off. I read my book and waited for her to come back. I didn't want to do shopping. It took Gaye a little longer in shops than I expected, so I ended up with a sunburn. But who cares? I got a tan now.
In the evening we cycled back to Weston. It took us 1hrs 20 mins altoghether. So I think it would take me about an hour to go to Weston (Gaye is not very experienced with bicycles yet, but she's already 10times better she was in the beginning). I guess I will cycle to Weston on Friday after the wedding and also my workday ends and will leave my bike to John's place and will head off to Cardiff.

11 miles seemes a lot less when driving by bike than I thought it would be. I love the bicycle trail to Weston and now I know the shortcuts. Altogether 11 miles. Lovely.

It was a nice day out and today we are finishing our brilliant weekend with some cold beer that I bought today when I went to pool :)

I've just realised how lucky I am

2011-04-20T20:54:00.002+03:00

My project is probably the best EVS project I have ever heard of. There are loads of facts that prove it:

I live in the place where I work - not much trouble with getting to work+no need to wake up very early
I get three meals a day
pocket money is bigger amongst all the volunteers I know
I have a bicycle
I have a guitar
I have internet access
I go to gym
I go escorting to places like Royal Ascot, Glastonbury, I go to pub lunches, sailing, willow boat trips and all kinds of trips out
When the bus service became limited my manager started thinkig about giving me the permission to use the van of the institution (I refused- driving a VAN in UK where everything is LEFT and roads are NARROW and cars drive way too FAST and the isurances are way too EXPENSIVE is not something I would dare to do, and the responsibility is also too big)
I go to loads of trips around in UK
I just bought myself a daily ticket to Reading festival (my dream has been to go to a big music festival in here)
I get to make many friends all the time
I have the mentor who helps me as much as possible
All my co-workers are extremely helpful
My work is something I love to do
I live in a quiet place and there's nature around me- I sometimes smell freshly cut grass which reminds me of home
I always have the possibility to go to some busier place on my free days
It's very hot in here at the moment- +25 degrees
I will go home for two weeks to attend the singing festival and see my friends
etc

I think I forgot to add some of them, but well, those should already prove pretty much how lucky I actually am.

Reading festival

2011-04-19T23:48:00.001+03:00

Well, as the Santa Claus hadn't delivered me in the post either the invitaton to the Royal wedding and Reading festival, I decided to make at least the last one true. So.... here it is! I'm going to the Reading 2011 festival on the 28th of August. The biggest line-up is going to be MUSE. Then there is going to be Panic At the Disco!, The Streets, Peter Doherty and so on. I am so going to love it!

Unfortunately I won't go to Royal Wedding......

Bradford and CS in Bristol

2011-04-18T22:17:00.006+03:00

This weekend I made my trip to Bradford to see Vero and her friends. I started off Thursday night and went through Weston, Bristol, Manchester Picadilly, Manchester Victoria to Bradford. Vero came to the station. It was soooo great to see her after such a long time. We talked for a very long time in the evening and went to sleep pretty late.
The following morning Vero had to go to some job thing, because she got herself a job now. I'm happy for her. So she showed me around in the area a bit and then we met in her school her friend Sahr. We helped him to do some homework (or actually Vero did) and then went to Morrissons to get some food for the supper. Vero left me to her place to cook. I was finally able to cook! I made minced vegetable soup and tried to make apple-tear cake, but unfortunately I didn't have the mixer so it didn't look the best in the end. 4 of Vero's friends came over for the supper after the lecture was over. They all looked at the soup as if it was something disgusting. Well, it looked greenish and was minced. They had never seen anything like that. Kinda funny to me. But then they tasted it and liked it really much. So most of the soup was eaten. And the cake- although it didn't look like the cake and was a bit more like a dessert, they ate it and liked it, too. Nice! We had a nice chat about psychology. Marwan, one Vero's friends, made a Cube test with me and the results of the test were pretty accurate for me. It was a personality test. I've been trying to convince the guy that he should study psychology instead of the civil engineering, but I haven't been effective in it, yet. After the people went away, me and Vero had couple of hours of sleep and then got ready to go to FND-Friday Night Disco. We met Marwan there and some of his friends. There was one guy who studies psychology on the second year. He had never met another psycho student from another university. Sahr came to the party also. And there were many people. In the beginning we drank some ales and played billiard. When more people came, we danced a lot. The party ended at 4am. Sahr took me and Vero home after the party. Marwan was planning to go to Bath the following weekend so maybe I will see him soon :) I will probably go to Bath this weekend if he comes there. :)
On Saturday Vero showed me around in Bradford. I can say that it's the ugliest city I've been to in UK. Really, there is garbage everywhere. And the city itself seems to be industrial. I wouldn't want to live there for long time, but it's good for a visit. It's got a very active life going on over there. There are very many Indian, Arabic and African origin people in Bradford. It seemed like a different country. I didn't hear any English that was similar to the accents in south. The place is very multicultural, but indian culture is everywhere. It's like another country inside UK. I saw Vero's university, the main square, some gardens. But the place wasn't anything spectacular. I liked the university, though.
Oh, and Vero's apartement- she has a small room (about half of the size of the rooms we had in our boarding school's old hostal), and there were two more people living in the apartement and having rooms like this. They have a communal kitchen downstairs. It's nothing special, but I think I would even like to live in a place like this if I had proper roommates. But the area she's living in, is very dangerous. People have tried to break into the apartement of Vero already twice.
The time in Bradford went by so fast that I didn't even notice. It was so great to see Vero again. It felt as if we had seen each other every day in the past year, which we obviously didn't. As my marvellous time in Bradford came to an end, Vero sent me off to the station. I made loads of friends in Bradford and will go back there as soon as I've got enough time, money and don't plan to go anywhere else (so it means that I will not go there in the next couple of months).
My trip back was a bit different to the one I had when I went to Bradford. I went through Leeds to Bristol. But the thing was that I had to stay overnight in Bristol, because the train came in very late in the evening. So... I did couchsurfing! I stayed at one guy's, named Pat, place. We had exchanged our contacts before and he told me on Saturday morning that there was another CS also staying at his place. When my train was in Gloucester, Pat called me and asked if my journey was going well and how I was doing. When I go to Temple Meads, he and the another CS (a Chinese girl) came to greet me at the station. After that we went out to one pub near the library and the College Green where we had a beer and listened to some live music. It was lovely. When we got to Pat's place, we talked for a while. I told him about my plans to go to London in May and he and the Chinese girl (I can't remember the name- I have got a lot of difficulties with Chinese names anyway) gave me a lot of advice about travelling in London. As we were tired, we didn't stay up very late and went to sleep around 1:30am. The following morning Pat cooked us some omelette with croissant-kind-of thing which was very tasty. And after that we headed out to discover Bristol. It was really nice time. We went to the Suspension Bridge and University area and harbourside and central. We basically saw everything that a person who visits Bristol, should see. We walked altogether around 7miles. During our trip out we talked a lot about Britain, living in here, accents and all kinds of stuff. It was really great time and I enjoyed it very much. I will definetely visit Pat again. He's like a CS master or something like that. He organizes Bristol CS monthly gatherings and hosts people a lot. He seems to be very devoted to give the CS-s the best experience possible when they stay at his place. I can tell, that I absolutely love CS. It's just a brilliant thing and the person who invented is one of my idols now.
But again.... The day came to an end very fast. I had to go library and the Chinese girl had to catch a train to Cardiff. She was travelling around in the UK. She just came from London and Edinburgh and went to discover Wales. After that she is planning to go to Belgium.
After library I missed my bus to Weston and had to wait an hour to catch another one. I stayed at the waterfront and read the books that I took from library. Then, when I got to Weston, I discovered that the bus company had made changes in the bus times from today so that the buses don't go to Axbridge on Sundays after 15:52 anymore. Only to Winscombe. Gaye also planned to go with the same bus as me so we had a bit of a trouble figuring out how to get home. We called Petra, our mentor, because walking from Winscombe would have been too long distance. After I got here, I checked the bus times and really, no buses go from Weston to Axbridge after 6 in the evening any more. This is ridiculous. I mean- this limits our travels so much because we have to be back at a certain time and if we go anywhere we basically don't have time on Sunday to look around. Which is stupid. I'm gonna write a complaint letter to the bus company about it. It's stupid. And there are loads of people who suffer because of this. Especially when the summer comes and people want to go out in the evenings or for the weekends. I am really mad. This bus change will affect my life in here so badly now. I will lose a lot of travelling time because of that. As if I didn't have to think enough already about getting as cheap and appropriate tickets to different places as possible. Now I have to plan a lot more. And I hate it. Because travelling in UK is complicated if you want to do it as cheap way as possible.
But. Now I can practice on how to write a complaint letter. Good skill for life, I suppose.

I have got the best friends in the world.

2011-04-13T20:28:00.003+03:00

They make me miss Estonia so much that it hurts! But I love them. They are just too good to be true.
I got a letter from them today and it consisted of a very gorgeous painting and a letter that just made my heart ache for my friends.
Thank you! I love you so much!

What have I done to deserve you?

When it's +20 or even more outside...

2011-04-09T22:50:00.004+03:00

Happenings

2011-04-09T00:28:00.002+03:00

During my stay in Britain I have discovered, as I have mentioned previously, that people tend to speak to each other no matter where they are. Which is really nice sometimes. I have had some interesting talks during my journey's from destination A to B. I want to talk about two of them.

Firstly. About a week ago when me and Gaye came home from Bristol one guy started talking to us in the bus. He had a crutch with him so we asked what had happened to him. Then he told us a long story on how he had had a motorcycle accident 4 years ago and has had around 8 operations so far. He told his accident wasn't caused by him and he's actually very lucky to have survived. The doctors had told that maybe they had to amputate his leg but then the leg was basically built up from different tissues from the guy's body. And the guy told he still had one operation to go. He showed us pictures from his iPhone about his leg after the operation. The pictures were quite disgusting and ugly. I mean- they were from a leg that had swollen up to the size of three legs and had infection in it. I'm glad we hadn't eaten much before....

Secondly. On my train trip from Leeds to Bristol a guy sat next to me in Birmingham. I was listening to my music calmly and suddenly the man tapped on my shoulder. I had a book "The reality of Dyslexia" that I was reading on the table in front of me and the man had read the title of the book. He asked if he could have a closer look at the book because he has a son who has severe dyslexia. Then the guy told that his son is finishing university master's degree in maths. And that he hasn't told his son that he has dyslexia. He also told that his son can't tell the days of the week or exact times. The man also talked about his other son who has severe autism and lives in a care home. We discussed a lot about working with disabilities, the topics were mostly about dyslexia and autism and british health care system. It was a nice talk. By the time the man went down in Bristol Parkway he had written down the name of the book and had understood that he should tell his son he's dyslexic. My day had filled it's purpose. Hopefully I helped to make someone's life better. I mean- having no idea that you have dyslexia and not knowing the reason why you struggle so much with reading and have struggled the whole life- it must be hard. And when you know that you have the disability, you can actually tell people this, and they will accept it and won't look at you as if you were some kind of a freak or stupid person. I guess on that day went well and I had a tiny part in changing someone's life towards better.

I hope I will have lots of this kind of happenings during my journeys around Britain. I like them. Meeting interesting people is fun. And educative.